How to Respect Other People's Boundaries

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One part of the healthy boundary setting process is learning how to set our own boundaries, but it's also about learning how to respect other people's boundaries - which, if you're not used to, can be really difficult at first. Here's what you need to know about other people's boundaries, and how to make sure you are treating their boundaries with respect just as you want them to treat yours the same way.

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[captainsomeister]

I love this guide on respecting boundaries. I struggle socially and with my autism it’s more struggling. I have a boundary issue with my teacher. I cross her boundaries unintentionally without realizing. I agree boundaries are important because without them, the other person might want to be defensive and distant like it happened with my teacher. I have been watching YouTube videos or researching articles on how to not cross boundaries.I have been doing what I can do to be better with boundaries

[MichelleFarrismft]

This is such a great topic because early on in my own recovery I had no idea that I was not recognizing other people’s boundaries. One thing that helped me is to be aware of when others stop maintaining eye contact. This is a simple way to see that the other person may be feeling uncomfortable or wanting to leave. Respecting people’s boundaries takes time so be gentle on yourself! Sometimes this takes awhile to recognize but keep at it! Thanks again Julia for great content!

[TheEarthycrunchy]

Growing up with abusive parents I have no problem accepting boundaries from other people. In fact, thats my super power. That’s why I have to work really hard to set my own boundaries, because I’d much rather prioritize other people. It’s what feels safe and familiar. Working on it…

[genepitts]

I searched " How do I respect others". This is the first video that answered the question. I have passed twenty others that spoke about getting respect.

[johnrainsman]

I failed at respecting other people's boundaries. I was taken to my boss's office with her and a high-ranking chef. The chef told me that I've been touching my coworkers too much. Not THAT type of touch, of course not! Just casual ones, like on arms or shoulders. I was always very outgoing at work. When I asked her if anyone complained, she said it didn't matter (so I assume yes). She told me that we need the workers to be comfortable in a good work environment, and that I pretty much shouldn't talk about anything other than work and school (I work at a university's catering service). She told me I shouldn't tell my stories because they may be inappropriate to my coworkers. Now yeah, I guess I do occasionally say "inappropriate" stuff at work, but not horribly nor intentionally. I only meant to joke around and have fun. I really didn't get specific information from the chef about what and whom. She likes that I'm outgoing, but she made it sound risky and in need of limits. And again, that I shouldn't touch anyone without consent. But seriously, I'm not a creep. I didn't mean to be so "handsy" (I say loosely). If I could make it up to whoever presumably reported me, I would. People condemn me on YouTube comments and couldn't care less about my regret. Being right and truthful is worth more than them than my feelings.

[daniXdano]

Respecting boundaries is my goal at the moment, when my partner needs to go to bed I wake him up to cuddle and I don’t even think about how I’m gonna affect his sleep. I care about him. I want to be more considerate, for him to get his full 8 hours. I want to be more conscious in those moments and self soothe rather than fill that desire to be held

[zonvoedar]

I’m glad I found this video. One of my boundaries problem is talking about my life problems and musical interest. I need to learn that not everyone is a fan of classical believe it or not. Or trauma problems no matter how severe the ptsd is.

[maurodiaz]

I couldn't agree more with you Julia, there are times we want to other people respect our boundaries but sometimes we are unable to respect their ones. Thank you for this gentle reminder.

[antonboludo]

A person's personal boundaries can be illogical or non-sensical to you, but you still must respect them.

However, another person cannot dictate to you what your own boundaries "should" be.

[chrismcevoy]

We all need boundaries because we all have a breaking point.❤

[Barneymum]

I'm doing a lot of co-dependency work with CoDa and am also doing lots of marital counselling (for two years almost).
Boundaries have always been an issue for me, both mine and other people's. I'm just learning what they are and how to use them. This video is really part of that! Thank you so much for clarifying why I find other people's boundaries so threatening and why I've often been lax with my own. Wow!

[vercomer]

I'm newish. So glad to be called out about this by a pro before another fight gets started with a loved one.

[valeriedion]

Thank You so much for that great video. I'm a single mother and i raised my daughter all alone without familly or nothing. It was juste the two of us. She had health problems since birth and she now lives in a another city with is great i'm happy for her. but listening to this video makes me realise that i should give her more space for her own experience and choises about her health. I do it out of love but i'm being overbearing i think.

[kittystarch]

Thanks, I've had a bunch of trouble respecting other's boundaries due to being in a house where a family member that still in the house didn't listen to mine. I like to touch others a lot but some people don't like to be touched so I've been working on that. Thank you :).

[chrisdigitalartist]

Hi Julia! Catching up on this video! Thank you for making this too! That is one thing that I really want to learn myself...to be respectful of other people's boundaries...and also know not to take things personally, if someone I know messes with their own system. And to other's here, I do recommend Julia's book as well! It really is a great book, and it has exercise that you can do to practice the work or use them for journal prompts. To anyone who reads this, you are a worthy and valued person. You matter. ❤

[christopheryannatone]

Honestly as a 20 year old man who lives with his parents, whether it’s family or not PLEASE shut the bathroom door when you’re in there. Period. Yes we all use the bathroom but it’s a matter of privacy and having some class. We are not simply carnal creatures mind you. My mom always leaves it open and doesn’t turn on the light and it makes me so upset when I walk in on her to use the bathroom myself not even knowing she was in there in the first place.

[melissamcconnell]

You are so awesome and your words on boundaries are so true! Thank you for your wisdom and it is helping me to grow stronger with myself and others. What a joy you are to listen to! Blessings!

[itsreallyrona]

This is such a good reminder. I felt like I DO respect other boundaries, but I do also walk away feeling precious about it, which in itself needs unpacking. Thanks Julia!

[selfhelpchampion]

We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel.
Marshall B. Rosenberg.

[sTlykl]

I'm new here. You are amazing! I have been struggling with pretty much everything in all your videos and boundaries as well. Been on a path of destruction since a breakup that happened almost a year ago. Everything i have been holding back and not dealing with from the past 40 years hit me all at once. Have lost all hope and im self sabotaging my life to make sure no one will ever want me again because I dont deserve it anyways. I'm currently in therapy and have multiple years clean and have that program as well but still struggling to make any progress. So these videos and any information i can gather to help me get out of my mind prision is a blessing!! Thank you!