Why I'm Sick Of 'Self-Care': A Rant

The Financial Diet site:

[BoardwalkBhikku]

“Treat Yourself” is me buying a favorite computer game because it’s been a hard week at work.
“Self-care” is prying my ass out of bed to go see my Dentist before work.

[shawnatangtang]

My favorite self-care quote from a friend is "sometimes self-care is eating the cookie, sometimes self-care is not eating the cookie"

[QOTCPcf]

Not to mention, there's a billion-dollar "self care industry" that really needs us to believe that self care is all about luxury items you need to purchase from them :-/

[stevieray]

you still have to balance "me right now" with "me in 5 years" and care for both of them

[johnny]

“Adults follow a plan. Children do what feels good.” I love that quote every time I fall back into my old bad habits of following impulses.

[patiakreles]

Actual self care list (not so expensive) long and detailed:
-Have nutritious food for breakfast (some fiber pls)
-Workout 2-3 times a week (or more)
-Learn cooking techniques (so you can have better food at home)
-Play videogames (not expensive in the longrun)
-Don't go out to eat (this affects your finances and sets higher standards)
-Invite your friends over to play boardgames
-Go see a therapist or psychistrist if you are not ok (don't let your mental health deteriorate)
-Take your medicine
-Brush your teeth and floss
-Shower (everyday pls) with a nice shampoo and conditioner (nice is not necessarily expensive)
-Go take a walk when you are bored
-Replace sugar with some sweetner (at least here these are inexpensive)
-Identify the things that are bothering you of your body (for example, my neck hurts sometimes or I have backpain, or my hands are dry, or I have a weird fungus or whatever) and do something about it.
-Meal prep for the week (I am unable to eat healthy otherwise, I just eat cheese sandwiches everyday xd)
-Understand that you are not going to be perfect in everyway and that you are doing the best you can.
-Wash your clothes, sheets and towels regularly
-Buy a reusable water bottle and have it next to you in case you get thirsty
-Buy ONE pair of sunglasses and use them when you need (buy one or else it will be expensive).
-Wear sunscreen or at least have it on your backpack (maybe eventually you'll use it)
-check your finances everyday, just watch your balance (5min of your day), you'll start to save a lot more money if you are aware of how much you are spending.
-Have "sobremesa" whenever you can (sobremesa is a chilean term to just talking while having dessert or coffee after eating) this will help you bond.
-Find an "analog" hobby if you have time. Now I am making a teddy bear, super random, but it's entertaining and let's me focus on something else for a while.
-clean your place regularly, also once a year do a marie kondo style cleaning and donate everything.
-Buy some plants, these have made a huge difference in my life.
-Have a cup of coffe out once every two weeks.

If you made it this far, I hope this helps a bit

[patriciamuszynski]

I self cared myself into gaining 50 lbs... Now dealing with that.

[EmmaMartinaSweden]

As a person with ADHD, the best self care and money saving move I've ever done is when I deleted the majority of my social media accounts.

[noodles]

Internet “selfcare” is more like self indulgence

[remotecontrol]

Chelsea: *calmly lays out facts and observations*
Me: Is this a callout

[AcenPhina]

I think there's also a lot of people conflating "comfort" and "feeling good".
For instance, when you're suffering from winter depression, it's most _comfortable_ to lie in bed all day, and even though it doesn't feel good, it's still what you will prefer and call "self-care". Going on walks and keeping yourself clean is not what you'll want to do, but it _is_ what will make you feel better.

[hollyhayden]

Genuine Self Care List
- Sleep
- Exercise
- Meditation
- Boundaries
- Social media detox
- Quiet time
- Fresh air
- Creative activities
- Reading
- Tidying up space
- Plan your day, week, month or more
- Journal

[Beanhill_]

Self care should be more focused on the care part. It meant quitting smoking and lots of bad kind of food. And cooking at home and not going to places that I don't want to go to like clubs.

[jamiem]

I started realizing how much having a messy house effects my mental health, and how much better I feel once the house is clean, so I learned to define house cleaning as giving a gift to myself. I get so depressed and anxious when the house is messy that it is worth the work to clean it every day. I would totally call it self-care.

[angelicaclaudio-cortes]

Good points. As you get older and/or have children, self-care is more about quiet time, eating right, exercising, healing after an injury, etc. In other words, it's about taking care of yourself--mentally, physically, and spiritually--so you can be more productive and helpful in other areas.

[AnnaMWatch]

I think a lot of the "self care" talk is meant to be a temporary thing that people take too far. The whole self care day idea where you cancel your plans and skip your classes and just lie around watching netflix isn't supposed to be a continuous thing, it's meant for when you're so overstressed and close to burnout that you just need a moment to take a breath. But yea, true self care is going to therapy and remembering to take your vitamins

[charlie.]

The "instagram self-care" I've seen a lot of is definitely more like "self-indulge". I used to follow an instagram acc that did have self-care tips such as create a morning routine, dance to your favourite song before an interview, make your bed every morning etc. But then it slowly became a "self-indugle" acc so I had to unfollow even though they used to have great tips.

Someone also pointed out the idea "self-parenting" and I find that a more interesting way of putting it. I parent myself by making healthy breakfast and setting a proper bedtime while also doing my best to balance my much needed alone time and also necessary social time.

[Jonquil_Studios]

I tend to think of these kinds of self-care as "emotional milkshakes." There was a time when I was very physically sick and malnourished. The only reason I didn't starve to death was because I constantly drank calorie-dense milkshakes. Even though my body wasted many of the calories by vomiting / pooping them out without processing them, milkshakes had enough calories and protein in little enough space that I could process enough to survive.

This doesn't mean that milkshakes are nutrient rich and great meals if you are well. But they saved my life when I was in a very bad place physically.

If someone is in a very bad place emotionally, it's better to reach for an emotional milkshakes than let yourself metaphorically starve to death (meaning, collapse into panic, despair, or dissociation-- an emotional breakdown).

This needs to be a placeholder until you can get real help and medical treatment for your mental health, just like I got real medical treatment for my physical health.

But it's okay if it takes a long time. It's also okay if you're never "healthy" by other people's standards. I still have to supplement normal food with Ensure and ice cream; I'm still underweight, just not in danger. It's okay if someone who struggles with lifelong anxiety and depression needs to incorporate emotional milkshakes into their diet also.

It's okay if you're only well enough to work 20 or 30 hours a week instead of 40, or if you have to work from home and take baths during the day. It's okay if you need to live on SSDI or your country's equivalent.

My point is, know yourself. Don't compare yourself to other people. Figure out what self care is for you, and don't let yourself get anxious or ashamed if it's different from other people-- even people you admire, like Chelsea.

[GoodMorningButch]

me prepping my veggies on a sunday afternoon: self care ~

[lisahayes]

I don’t know about this Insta “self-care” but when your deeply depressed even a tiny gesture of care towards yourself is super important. And that might be doing things that aren’t good if you keep it up long term but keep you alive in the short term.