Answer to #acetok #asexuality #asexualityisvalid #asexualityisreal #asexualityinfo #asexual

Defending your identity gracefully

[KMPickard]

I always go with "I haven't yet been stabbed. No one seems to think I need to try that before I knock it."

[tscimb]

I once responded with "I wouldn't drink bleach, either, and no one suggests giving that a whirl."
I was younger, annoyed, and sick of hearing the same bs over and over.

[spades]

I feel like asking them if they’d ever wanted to do it with their parents would be a good response, it creates the same visceral feeling of disgust that I get

[dappr]

Omg thx ive been struggling with this in my relationship and this is a really helpful script.

[emhoj]

I also know that I wouldn't want to play hockey professionally. I haven't tried but it's really not something I would do for less than a million dollars cash

[sad_doggo]

I need to make a dialogue tree of these types of responses. Because it seems like if you answer one objection, they move to another. "How do you know if you haven't tried it" quickly becomes "how do you know you haven't tried it with the right PERSON"

(FYI the correct response to either of these is to say, "so you're saying that I have these feelings, even though I said I don't. How do you know that?"

AKA The "annoying child" strategy 😂 )

[JEDonnert]

My best friend relized she was Ace 3-4 years into our relationship. And after a refresher of what that meant, I was like, "Yeah, that makes sense."

[pyromaniacalmagpie]

Okay, hear me out, I'm absolutely not ace at all and I knew that I wasn't ace before I had ever been with anyone romantically at all let alone done the deed so to speak. There is a very specific kind of mood, very specific emotions that come with it. Virginity doesn't have anything to do with it! It's the same as how so many queer people are aware of it before they ever are in relationships with anyone at all,
I think maybe that could be a good way to describe it, even if you're speaking to a hetereosexual cisgendered person, ask them when they knew they were straight and cis, they've probably just kind of known this for ages and never really put much thought into it.

[bexybunny]

Annoying person: You won't know until you try
Me: Are you straight?
Them : yes ?
Me : How you know, have you kissed/ sex a boy/ girl before ?
Them : nooo I'm straight
Me : Well, you'll never know until you try
Them : You don't have to be so dramatic what ever never mind
Me : satisfied 😂😂

[DemLep]

Pick a gender or thing they don't like and say, "Well how do you know unless you try it?"

[CharlotteWW]

And if they genuinely don't understand, I like the comparison with bungee jumping. Some people really want to go and bungee jump and they are sure they will enjoy it even though they've never tried it. And some people do not want to go bungee jumping for their life. Some things you just know, even if you have never tried it

[DemonKing]

I mean, I will say Ace specifically has a unique issue where most of population can't imagine a world where they just lack a sex drive in regard to other people but... I feel like for most straight people the answer would be to equating it to asking why they haven't tried having sex with someone of the same sex yet then. Then just rephrase most of the no-duh arguments they use.

If they're reasonable to talk to then they might get it pretty quickly it's an operating system level thing, and not something that changes easily or potentially at all. If they aren't then you know to stop the conversation, though that can get difficult with people who think they're making your life better by pushing like parents and people with a crush on you.

[Lestaticate]

No, no, I like that first answer! >:3 (Jk ... maybe.)

[ArtichokeHunter]

I feel like a response like this most likely comes from ignorance of what asexuality is? No one's saying "how do you know if you experience sexual attraction when you haven't had sex?, " they're saying "how do you know if you don't like sex if you haven't had sex?" And if they're reasonable people and you explain that asexuality isn't about whether you like sex or not, it's about not experiencing sexual attraction, seems like their line of thought would fall apart.

(You might know you wouldn't like sex, you might not know, you might like sex! But none of those things are inherent in being ace.)

[simbelmyne]

Oh if they're my friend I'm definitely saying that 😂