Why Do Men Pursue Me When They're Not Ready For Commitment?

What is it about all those men who pursue a relationship only to have them say, they are not ready for commitment?

As a woman who is seeking a committed relationship you might be wondering "why did he chase me if he's not ready?"

This is a common tale and there's an answer to this question.

In today's video, we will explore the DEEPER conversation about men who pursue only to change their mind.

[cindymartin]

If you are 'not ready', be an honest person with integrity, and do not lead another person on nor to believe they have a chance to strengthen the bond.

[mischa]

Could also be because you’re dating a dismissive avoidant. They think they want a relationship till they start to like someone. Then their core wounds are triggered. Usually they think they won’t be enough in a relationship for someone. They fear losing their independence. Then all the sudden they’re taking space and think they’re not ready. This is usually all unconscious. That’s why it’s important to start stating needs and knowing what you want very early on in the dating stage.

[milicamarshastefanovich]

I’ve also noticed that men will pursue a woman just for sex. I always make it very clear that I don’t do hookups, and that I’m looking for a relationship. That one sentence weeds out all of the guys who are just looking for sex. I’m all about leveling up in what I’m looking for in a man. I’m beyond done with bottom feeders. Intentionality in both words and in action is necessary from both. Reciprocity is another one as well.

[wendyonpurpose]

This has been so frustrating to me until I learned not ready doesn’t mean maybe later or soon it just means no 🙅🏻‍♀️

[coastaldiva]

I would guess that anyone thats been married and then divorced knows that love is not enough

[mimifredericks]

I think most people need to work on themselves....then they are ready to be in a relationship. Timing is everything.

[selectiveoutrage]

We are all a certain number of men away from meeting Mr. Right. We just don't know how many men, which is why you shouldn't be afraid to dump a guy or be upset when you get dumped. He was Mr. Wrong but you are one man closer to meeting Mr. Right!

[blankakasza]

The biggest issue is men lie to get what they want and show a person of potential when they really have none.

[fly_girl]

I’m SO glad you mentioned intentionality. I recently ended a “situationship” with someone who I realized wasn’t being intentional about moving things along in an organic upward trajectory. This guy was the total package every other way, but I could not see myself wasting my time with us being on two different pages. I am proud of myself for recognizing this early on and knowing my worth to end things, instead of remaining in the situation with a delusional optimistic fantasy.

[silviak]

I feel like men are more likely to be emotionally unavailable. So when they do develop feelings, they get distant or leave. Gone from we would be great together and asking me if I ever want to live outside London to 13 days later I need headspace. I said take all the time you need. Because that to me is sign..girl move on. He ain't ready, doesn't know what he wants. Just an FYI we had great chemistry and deep conversations. We had one date in person 2 years ago. Reconnect recently just to be told he wants to date but feels like distance and job situation in a way. To me... looks like still not grown up... 🤷

[christinamarcille]

Dating should be changed to a new word
It should be ‘Deciding’
Because we’re deciding if this person is long term material

[jjpl]

I have said something similar to the guy I’ve dated off and on for 3 yrs. I think it’s time for me to leave since he can’t seem to believe in or see a relationship with me after all.

[daldridge]

This is something my girlfriends and I talk about often.

[miss.charlene]

Not ready is also I don't feel that I'm good enough, or healed enough for you.

[kirstiefisher]

In my experience guy's have lied to me that they wanted a relationship just to get sex from me and it's been happening most of my life

[dialmstyle]

I’m currently watching Billions and immediately recognized the shirt!

[LisaGemini]

Wayne Dyer is fantastic. He wrote many, many books about loving yourself and personal development. I am so sick of people focusing on chemistry! You have to be friends first. Dating is a cluster*&k nowadays. Especially fo people at mid-life, who aren't intentional, emotionally mature. No, I have never just sat back and expected a man to guide the process. When you do that, it's a total disaster.

[annieportier]

Jonathan I like your directness and your delivery of the information you are teaching us (yelling & all). I am 75 and still learning at least getting answers as to why I made some pretty bone head mistakes in the past marrying three Narcissist's! I'm ok now knowing what happened. Your content is stellar! Keep yelling!!

[cindihunter]

Not interested in just a physical relationship.. Many clearly don't give a damn.

[sueblack]

Right on the mark Jonathan. It scares most however. I can’t count on one hand how manly men Ive dated or known that were emotionally mature enough to get on that deep level. They usually will move on and seek a woman that doesn’t complicate their lives or makes them feel deep emotions.