GUARANTEE your programming job👩‍💻 #programming #tech #code #technology #software #developer

[molomono]

You had me at "you'll never get laid"

[Znwarp]

Someone in my workplace did this. They got laid off, and all that code got scrapped and slated for redevelopment

[paintdry]

Step 6: put half the logic of your code in SQL stored procedures

[incremental_failure]

I'm already ahead, my code is obfuscated by default.

[scorpion]

Or be the only guy that knows CSS, make it so complicated only you know how to fix it

[Warwipf]

My trick was being born in Germany and thus having workers' rights, which was honestly just genius on my part

[JoshtynDotTV]

no no, this is exactly HOW you get laid off!

[Vietnamkid]

Reminds me why I have frequent required coding reviews

[doncezzy]

Bro please a video on math concepts required to be an efficient programmer

[TheAkiller]

Sarcasm aside write codes and libraries that is used by others and make sure to plaster your name on them and write documentation on how to use it

[Gehe]

And this is why places enforce design and documentation standards. That are slow to adapt for anything.

[Mr_Lyric]

How to raise the middle finger at your co-workers without raising the middle finger at your co workers

[silversabercraft]

Yea... but first I need a job to get that far

[undergraduate]

No offense, I'm a developer, and if I'm not wrong the code we write belongs to the company and not us.

[lukewilliamrimmington]

The trick here is to copy the un-obfuscated code. So, the code that's obfuscated has "no issues". In accordance to you but, everyone else.

[bigblackfootman]

create a problem, hold the solution hostage.

[lejessman]

Oh dude I'm a master at step 3 & 5!

[Adomas_B]

1. Write verbose, obfuscated code (more lines = more money)
2. Tell your boss that you want a higher salary since no one knows what your code means
3. Profit

[KurtIsFat]

I don't why some jobs are paying more because of how many lines of codes you do, like isn't the point of writing a code is to have the most efficient solution in a problem?

[phalamy]

So what you're saying is:
Hold my workplace hostage