How To Help ADHD Kids 'Addicted' To Video Games

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𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗 𝗗𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗥𝘆𝗮𝗻 𝗪𝗲𝘅𝗲𝗹𝗯𝗹𝗮𝘁𝘁, 𝗟𝗖𝗦𝗪, 𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗-𝗖𝗖𝗦𝗣
Ryan is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified School Social Worker, and father to a son with ADHD & learning differences. ADHD Dude is based in Tucson, Arizona.

𝗣𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗷𝗼𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗 𝗗𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆:

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[Jerzey_grl]

This!! My 5 year old was playing Sonic and Mario excessively because it seemed to be the only thing that calmed him down. We tried giving and taking as you mentioned, but it did not work. He was becoming aggressive, angry, seemingly addicted. We ended up having to take it away. He is so much better now!

[dhenderson]

I wish most parents would actually do this! There's also the whole sleep deprivation thing where kids are sneaking video games at night

[jordanmckinney]

Took them away from my 7 and 12 year old boys back in October with a "2 month break" but really in my head, my first goal was getting to a month. I battled going between feeling so sure of my decision to feeling guilty and blaming myself for letting it get that bad in the first place (the time they spent on it and how it affected their behaviors, grades, etc) thinking if I just set a timed routine for it and stuck to it, they wouldn't have to go completely without it..but I've battled this war so many times, I feel like an experienced soldier at this point. What I came to realize was it doesn't matter how long they get, it's never enough time. The behavior change is like night and day. When on the games, they're rude, impatient, annoyed, overstimulated, and just mean. Before their "game break", I would get so frustrated because I'd tell them they could play on games, and then they're mad or getting upset about something/wigging out... and I'm thinking, he wasn't even in a bad mood before? After going without the games for one week, their behaviors are instantly changed. I feel like they're less tense and aggravated at the world. They play with each other (board games, outside, imaginary games, etc.), they're more patient, kind, creative, and aware. They hold conversations better and enjoy the little things more. They never wanted to go to the store with me before, but now? Every single time, they're going 😄Their toys, board games, and books are back to being used again. My oldest plays the trumpet and keyboard, and actually enjoys practicing..when before, he would've never. He also loves drawing and creating activity books. My younger son (7) hasn't been diagnosed with ADHD..and I don't think he has it, whereas my older son is a poster child for combined type. Video games affected my older son to where it stayed on his mind from the time he woke up to the time he went to sleep. His grades were HORRIBLE. He couldn't focus or get out of his head. His social skills were severely lacking to the point where I was worried about his future. They still are a bit, but so much improvement since the break. If It weren't for me trying to make the process easier for him, I probably would've allowed my younger son to keep playing here and there because it didn't seem to affect his life in such a negative and noticeable way. I see now though that even kids without ADHD can be negatively affected by too much of it and those sneaky unwanted behaviors you think are normal and temporary AREN'T. After 2 months, I decided to tell them that I had made the decision that we weren't bringing them back. I told them all the positive changes I noticed and how one day when they are older and their brains are more developed, we may talk about bringing it back, but for now, we are not bringing them back for the foreseeable future. It's the best decision I've ever made and the most sure of myself I've ever been. Were they happy about my decision? No...but they weren't angry or extremely sad. They were just like "really? Why? Aww so I'll never get to play "game title" again". No, you will one day..but we will wait until you are older and can handle them in a positive and healthy way. So we are 4 1/2 months in.. Honestly feels like longer 😄 Although I will say, I have went back on my word twice within these 4 months and let them earn one hour of games together on 2 different occasions. The rule was that they had to play something they could play together, and only one hour. The first time was ok, but they would not stop asking after that if they could earn game time here or there and I kept having to remind them it was a ONE TIME THING. Then, cue the mean attitudes and alternate personalities. The second time, the change in their behavior just sealed it up in a nice little package for me. I was not going back on my word again. So sorry how long my comment is. There is no real purpose to it other than I wanted to thank you for speaking out about this. Every word you said about it is TRUE. I graduate in may to become a teacher, so I am student teaching right now and you can definitely tell which kids play a lot of games at home and which ones don't play at all or very much. Biggest indicators I notice? Social! Grades sometimes as well..but the social skills for the ones who don't play very much or at all are AMAZING. The type I yearn for my oldest to have ONE DAY...or close to it. We will see. Also, thank you for the social skills videos as well!!! That is what brought me to this video 😄 MUCH APPRECIATED!

[mdickard]

I've found you to be the most helpful person on my son's ADHD for our family. Thank you!

[missteikio]

This is so helpful! I have been watching videos on your membership site and even in just a few weeks it has been so helpful! This topic is a big one in the house! Definitely need to adjust the approach! Thank you

[HeatherMoreau]

Thank you, great video! Can you give a few examples of daily expectations, like for a middle schooler?

[sarahflavien]

Great video, Ryan! Thank you for your content and dedication to providing evidence based information to help kids with ADHD.

[kristyallman]

Does this go for YouTube? Is there a similar effect on children for that?

[LDk]

Here is my issue: My ADHD, highly aggressive son is 5. My husband generally comes home late during the week, and video games are his thing for decompressing on weekends. This can mean him playing video games for a good portion of the weekend (often over 6+ hours a day), which we have allowed my son to watch. Most do these games are fantasy fighting games, sometimes depicting character/creatures being killed.

We have a small condo, no yard or safe outdoor space. There are the kids bedrooms, but otherwise there is only one “area” on the main floor where the tv, dinner table, and kitchen are in one space. The kids are not allowed to run around downstairs because there are people living below us. While I try to keep the kids occupied or get them out, generally all my 5YO wants to do is watch his father play games.

Is watching these games just as impactful as playing them, especially for that duration? I note for weekends he tends to be more relaxed and calm and aggressive during the week, though he does get limited tablet and tv during the week… that may be too big a question for a YouTube comment section…

[CaribbeanLoveU]

Hi Ryan, this is such a helpful video. Could you please share a link of where to purchase that clock? Thank you!!

[Ramazanulı]

What if my ADHD kid has no interest in video games? I mean all normal kids like playing games on smartphones and soon become addicted. But my son is different

[pamperedchefandtheladywith]

Can I swap out “Video games” for “social media”?