Projection (The Narcissists' Weapon that Can Be Used Against Them)

This video is about projection, how the narcissist uses it as a weapon and how you can use this weapon against them. Stay tuned for some helpful tips at the end.

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NOTE: Meredith Miller is not a therapist or counselor. She is a holistic integration coach, helping you to self-heal and transform your life after narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships. Meredith teaches the mindsets and tactical skills to help with recovery. She works with a mind-body-spirit approach to wellness that is a valuable complement to traditional psychotherapy. Meredith recommends that you also seek out a licensed therapist who has experience with narcissistic abuse and relational trauma in order to help you with the complex-PTSD symptoms. Thank you for taking responsibility for yourself!

[KJKali]

My parents accuse me of being defensive, over-sensitive and over-reactive and say they have to walk on eggshells around me, whereas they are the ones who get triggered into narcissistic rages at any perceived slight! They really had me confused for years and years with this tactic, because I do act like that around them due the constant tension and the endless random verbal attacks. Clever old narcs, they not only projected, they got me to act out their crazy behaviour and believe it was my own!

[danielsatchell]

I’ve been accused of being narcissistic by a narcissist when I’m trying to stand up for myself. They constantly contradict themselves and always avoid getting to the truth.

[AnnaAlert]

“When you don’t take it personally, that’s when you can see the reveal.” YES! Spot on.

This whole video is 👌.

[goldieh]

So basically, when we project our good qualities onto the narcissist, and love them for those qualities, we are essentially in love with ourselves. And when we are disgusted with ourselves because of the bad qualities the narcissist is projecting onto us, we are essentially disgusted with them. We just need to realize that 😍

[KeepQuestioning]

"What did I ever do for you to treat me so badly?" When she was the one treating me badly.

[carlottaventi]

A colleague of mine always blamed others and told me how many problems she has. When I offered her some solutions, she told me I was the problem. Never ever give advice to narcissists. You´ll end up being a problem.

[kathyzrinyi]

Good advice. They have no life, so they have to destroy someone else’s. They are sick, not us. They are the self righteous hypocrites, not us. I am almost free from these demons.

[emipopescu]

Narcissists are horrible bullies, they can crush a human spirit.. or even entirely..
Thank you so much for your advice & knowledge!

[JM-prmk]

Right after I separated from the ex narc, we had a meeting in a public place to discuss a temporary custody plan, we have four children. At the end, he said something about suing me. I said "What would you sue me for? That is ridiculous!" He said, "What if I find out you were out banging 85 guys?" I luckily had the foresight to audio tape this whole bizarre conversation, it is legal in my state.
I also got his rage on tape and it was very useful when I had to call the police after asking him to leave and he refused. I had played the tape the night before for the police and they came as soon as I called them.
Always take steps to protect your safety.

[alainpatry]

Here was her weapon used against me, after 18 months of dating and what I thought was deep love... She started a course on psychoanalysis and one day told me she had figured out what the problem was: that I had narcissistic personality disorder and she wouldn't talk to me till I saw a therapist (which she is). I did bc as an empath I care about bringing the best version of me to the world and also because I forgave her in that moment. The therapist said to me: who do YOU think is the narcissist here? And my eyes were opened. Just by the fact she had said that and that I had been willing to consider it to be true... Was clear that this was her own projection. She returned once to my place a few months later and during a conversation told me she's glad she's not one to therapize significant others. I kept to myself at that comment bc my eyes had started to open by then. As I became unperturbed by her tactics she began to fade away. Proof that it wasn't.... Love. Not as I define it anyway.

[ggabbay]

Thanks for adding the issues with empaths projecting their good qualities, too. Another trap in the way of healing. Great video, very helpful to the child of a narcissist.

[Astharia]

Be aware when they say "I don't wanna... (to you)" I don't want to bring you into trouble/hurt you/whatever. In that case it means "I am going to..."

[cindiadams]

Meredith, you explain things so very well. I was with my Nex for 5 years before I discovered narcissism and escaped. He projected every vile thing he did onto me. He constantly accused me of cheating. I never cheated on anyone in my life... And I would say to him "you know, people who accuse others of something are usually guilty of it themselves". And he'd laugh and swear up and down he wasn't cheating. That's a laugh, because at the end I uncovered 3 other girlfriends, a trans sexual person, 3 prostitutes, strippers... He would say " I swear on the lives of my children". There's a "tell" right there... I'm 13 months psychopath free. Just finished Pete Walker's CPTSD book. What a journey to wellness. Your vids are some of the best out there. Thank you for your insight and terrific work!

[WildAlchemicalSpirit]

Interestingly, the narcissist in my life actually told me that I "project good qualities onto other people" because I am "so desperate to see people as good". He regularly projects his issues onto me, too. He's a psych major. It's been especially confusing for me because he is very aware of his own psychology and uses it to his advantage. At first it was so hard, but now that I know what's going on, I am secretly using the situation to my own advantage. To learn. It's a front row seat into his mind. He's become a great teacher without even knowing it.

[gomezalejandrog]

When the girl I was dating did this, I would question it because I would feel the statements weren't accurate representations of my character. So I told her I feel like the things she was saying were a reflection of herself.
Needless to say, she got pretty defensive. Very grateful for the relationship it taught me how important communication, empathy, and self-reflections are.

[sonjamuller]

Quote:" Look at you, what a horrible person you are. I would be so unhappy if I shared my life with you". This made me feel desperate, but then I learned about projection.

[ChatNoir]

Among all videos explaining what "projection" is yours was the best. Thank you!

[VikkiLynn]

Omg omg Omg! My ex always accused me of cheating & I never did. He would check my grocery receipts for the times & ask me to repeat where I was at what times in the order I ran my errands to try & trip me up in my recollection so he could accuse me of having a boyfriend on the side. For 17 years I tried to convince him I wasn't cheating. That's just not who I am as a person. I divorced him 5 years ago & have since discovered HE WAS THE ONE WHO CHEATED! I blamed myself the whole time thinking maybe I dressed too provocative or did something wrong to make him think that! Thank you Merideth your videos have helped me so much. Big hugs back to you! :)

[tawnytuppence]

She accuses me of being critical and judgmental, but that’s her. She says she has to walk on eggshells around me when that’s what everyone else has to do with her; meanwhile she gets away with massive destruction.

[indira]

Very good video! the biggest mistake i made was projecting my own goodness on others indeed.
Thank you Meredith *big hug* to you!