Autistic Girls Are We Gender Stereotyping Autism?

Autistic girls, are we gender stereotyping autism? There's an issue around identifying, diagnosing and supporting autistic women and girls. But the answer to this issue appears to be labelling a particular presentation of autism as 'girl autism' with associated lists of girl autism symptoms being shared online.

I feel that this way of tackling the issue excludes anyone who doesn't identify as female but who's autism presents in this way. So I made this video as part of a collaboration with fellow autistic YouTuber Yo Samdy Sam to talk about my concerns.

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A little bit about me:
Hi I'm Purple Ella and my family is an autism family with three out of five of us on the autistic spectrum. I also have ADHD and connective tissue disorder (hypermobile Ehlers-danlos syndrome). So life can be a challenge but also a lot of fun.

[artsy_marcypan]

There are actually three types of empathy: affective/emotional (feeling someone else’s emotions), cognitive/Theory of Mind (picking up the cues of how someone else is feeling, knowing the thoughts they might have, predicting their intentions), and compassionate (knowing what to say to make a situation better). It’s said that neurotypicals tend to have lower affective empathy and higher cognitive empathy, and often, autistic people have it the other way round, but no one says neurotypicals have low empathy because they don’t have as much affective empathy. Food for thought.

[Inariann]

I am thinking of getting a diagnostic and tried asking my mom how I was as a child and she told me exactly this: “ You can’t be autistic, you make eye contact.”
She has no idea how much stress I get from making eye contact with other people. Usually mostly adults, but sometimes even with my students. I’ve just always forced myself to do it cause I know it’s expected.
That bit in your video hit hard.

[lilykatmoon]

Holy cow, that shy, quiet girl who loved to read and has only one friend and sits in her room surrounded by her pets: literally me, my entire life up until this day! I’m going to have to do a VR to yours and Sam’s videos.

[yeet]

oh my god thank you so much for this! i’m a trans guy and it can be hurtful to look at autism resources, see something about “autism in girls” and have to accept the fact that they’re probably referring to anyone assigned female at birth and that i’m included in the “girl” category!!

[lizjenkin]

Take ADHD as an example. Despite knowing that, generally speaking, more cis females are in the "inattentive" sub-type and more cis males are in the "hyperactive/impulsive" sub-type, we don't call them "female ADHD" and "male ADHD". We acknowledge the difference between the sub-types (and have a combined sub-type, of course) but we don't gender them.

If we need to differentiate between these two presentations of autism, we must - and clearly CAN - do it in a non-gendered way. I've always preferred the idea of an "external presentation", an "internal presentation", and a "combined presentation", but that's just my own way of making sense of it.

[arasharfa]

as a queer man it was through Sams video about autism in girls that I started to realise I was autistic. I have always identified as more feminine socially so it all finally started to make sense to me.

[kandikat]

I’m starting to think autism has at least 3 “types” like ADHD does: “quiet”, “loud” and mixed for lack of better words while avoiding gendered labels

[ryn]

I'm autistic and enby and the autism that girls typically experience describes me perfectly. I don't like calling it 'girl autism' or 'female autism' or whatnot. My dad's autism presents similarly to mine and shockingly he's not a girl.

I do think it's important to research how the gender roles someone was expected to fill affects how their autism presents, so I understand the need to describe the way autism typically presents in girls separately. I think we just need to come up with a different term for it that isn't inherently linked to femaleness, like 'masking autism' versus 'nonmasking autism.' Something like that. And then we can say that autism in girls tends to be the masking autism type, while boys fit the nonmasking type more often.

[seatangle]

I'm nonbinary and transmasculine but I still found it helpful to point my family to "autism in girls" information after I got my diagnosis. The idea is helpful because it opens up peoples' minds to the idea that autism doesn't just present in one typical way, but it's important to emphasize that these traits are not confined by gender. I guess, rather than saying, "here's how autism looks in girls" it should be "here are other ways autism can present."

[alstar-sgyu]

I am a female with autism, but I do know more males with autism through my job. Interestingly many boys I support do have many of the presentations of "female" autism. I have interesting discussions with them about this and they dislike the gender differences, as to them it does not make sense to distinguish between genders when thinking about autism.

You are quite right, there shouldn't be a need to distinguish between genders and that every autistic person is a unique individual, regardless of their gender.

[lornajoy]

Why does everything have to be so gendered?

[clintonwalker]

I found myself watching the popular males and not speaking for so long. Once I thought I had figured it out I began stepping out of the “shy” role. I 100% thought everyone did this. I presented like a classic autistic female. Later in my 30’s I couldn’t keep up the masking. I relate to these issues

[digiscream]

Yes - I posted something similar over on Sam's channel. I would say that what's been termed "female autism" is actually "late-discovery autism". Many of us actually learned to mask early on, for many reasons - yes, there's the idea that girls have a very different set of social expectations growing up, but there can be other causes too. For example, in my case, I credit the fact that one of my parents (who is obviously also autistic, but has never really known about it other than "being different") unintentionally coached me on how to blend in and adapt in social situations with helping me learn about NT interactions. There's also the dreaded "boys will be boys" thing, which skirts the issue entirely. As a result, I didn't discover this journey until last year, at the age of 43...part of the problem being that I present almost exactly the same as the "female autism" stereotype, but I didn't watch any of those videos because I figured they wouldn't apply to me - the effect was, by definition, exclusionary.

As for "this video won't make a difference" - I disagree. More and more folk are discovering their autism through YouTube, thanks in part to the weirdly diagnostic behaviour of the YouTube AI. I'd say that, in terms of teens upwards making the initial discovery, autistic content creators are actually _more_ important and useful than medical/psychiatric professionals.

[Catlily]

I also think the diagnostic tools need to be updated. If they mixed the "female" traits with the existing "male" traits they could cover everybody without unnecessary divisions.
Since the biggest group currently undiagnosed is designated "female" it is easy to just label it that even though it is not precise. I am female but have some "male" traits and some "female" traits. I have seen males with Autism commenting that they have "female" traits. Also non-binary people would hopefully be more comfortable.
So maybe an awareness that people born with XX chromosomes tend to be under-diagnosed paired with an updated list of traits would be enough to fix the problem.
I hope then the unnecessary divisions between "female" and "male" Autism could be stopped.

[chrislidel]

I'm a man and I've been fighting this stereotype since I was diagnosed. My Autism refuses to acknowledge gendered stereotyping. I got tired of using gendered resources to help people understand their Autism and created my own I use in Neurodivergent support groups.

[Elena-zqml]

Thanks for bringing this up, it's an important discussion to have.

[FieldsofVelvet]

I like your idea that the whole thing be reframed 100% autistic men in general not just trans.. it seems strange to seperate symptoms by gender since so many of us seem to have unconventional views of gender anyway? I know quite a few men who have been missed and fit more of the "female" autism traits.. who have always consciously made efforts to learn social skills, worry about fitting in, imitate their friends behaviors, try to seem "normal" and end up with burnout later in life, maybe major in psychology, tend more towards inward struggles and shutdowns that they hide rather than meltdowns, maybe have special interests that arent questioned like movies, cars, motorcycles, sports, metal bands, stuff that can be spun as cool or normal... quite a few that pull off masking well enough to miss early diagnosis but not enough to miss jail time 😕

[zacrintoul]

I'm male and have not been officially diagnosed, but have a strong suspicion that I'm on the spectrum. I would say that I feel like I have a medium masking ability that allows me to ascertain what instances I need to force myself to do uncomfortable things in order to remain within the norm of socially acceptable behavior. And also where I need to push my current social limits in order to prepare myself for future endeavors requiring those skills. Too much thinking overanalyzing and planning probably. At this point I am realizing that this behavior just as much as if there was outright social failure in these situations implicates my having ASD.
Going full circle I've always felt like I've identified with the female gendertype more so than with what is normally thought of as male. It is interesting that this is also the case when it comes to autistic gendertype as well.
And now I've successfully written a novel that really probably just helps confirm that I probably have ASD... And that was just overanalyzing it... Probably confirming it more... And this ending is becoming more and more not within the social norm... Ugg why doesn't it end!...
Ok... By I guess.

[onlyinsomniac]

I had the same experience with ADHD. Went undiagnosed for years because, as a girl, I was socialized out of many of the typical behaviors and became very good at masking. But everyone presents ADHD differently and it seems reductive to always divide presentation of behaviors based on assigned gender.

[t-ci]

Thank you...when I try to explain how autism is misunderstood, I'm careful to say "misunderstood in all people, males too, but even more often in females and other genders." But it is SO difficult to get drs to listen at all, they definitely don't get it yet