5 Signs A Narcissist Is HIDING Deep Insecurity

Narcissistic relationships can feel like a maze that's impossible to escape. The mind games and manipulation are so subtle, you don't even realize what's happening until it's too late. I want to pull back the curtain on the tactics narcissists use to trap their victims.

By looking closely at the hidden signs of emotional abuse, we can understand why narcissists act the way they do. Underneath the bravado and charisma, there is a deeply insecure person driven by fear and the need for control.

Exposing the narcissist won't make them magically become self-aware or change their behavior. In fact, it often makes things worse. The road to recovering from narcissistic abuse and reclaiming your life is challenging but so worth the effort.

I hope this video helps anyone trying to break free from an abusive relationship see the narcissist's vulnerabilities behind the mask. My goal is to empower victims with knowledge to improve their mental health and heal. Although narcissists try hard to conceal their insecurities, we can educate ourselves to recognize their tactics, find support, and stop feeling trapped.

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*In this video, I share the tips, techniques and insights that have worked for me in my own journey of healing after narcissistic abuse along with expert tips and tools I've learned through years of coaching narcissistic abuse survivors. I am not a therapist and this video is not meant to provide therapy of any form. #narcissist #covertnarcissist

[lacithedog]

Narcissists are their own worst enemies: Their personalities are ruled by shame and guilt, yet they do things that make themselves feel shameful and guilty. They fear rejection, yet they do things that push people away. They need to connect, yet they push people away. As you point out, they are never happy--and narcs won't work on their problems. The weird thing is that my narc did the things which shamed her into her rages! I walked because she isn't willing to work on herself.

[Doom_Buggy_Nerd]

He always said, “ I’m a good person “. I told him that if he is a good person you don’t have to tell everyone that, they should know it

[lwontherez]

Narcissistic ex would “build me up”, but only because he thought of himself as being That Much More Superior to me. So, yes. They can “build another up” because they think you “need it”. But, he never helped where he could have. He was all about Him and His life and His goals and His world.

[claudym]

Emptiness is the key word when it comes to narcissism

[aflack]

Excellent! I've used a number of your "responses to use" from your March 1st vid including the "don'ts." I'm a retired hair dresser (among other careers), and it's been over three months since I've cut his hair. He finally brought up needing a haircut and had already figured out I probably wasn't going to do it. I simply told him that based on the way he talked to me and his inability to control his anger, I had no intention of ever cutting his hair again - UNLESS he brought his anger under control, quit putting words in my mouth, and started to speak to me with respect. Whenever he tried to shift the convo to my faults I said, "I'm well aware of my faults and I'm capable of dealing with them without your input." And your "we're getting off track again" as well as "I can't change the way you think or feel" worked like a charm. I finished quickly and calmly and the result is he's been a model citizen for at least a week. Thank you... P.S. We'll never be a "loved up" couple, but at least I won't be triggered to contemplate strangulation as a solution 🙂

[lamentate]

The study you refer to is interesting. Narcs can _appear_ grandiose, but if they get slighted easily, then they fit into the 'fragile' category. You will realise quickly who these narcs are because they are very reactive. Even if they have control over their ignited fury, you can see their anger/discomfort in their body language, facial expressions (including tics) etc that is provoked by comments they don't like.

[MiteshDamania]

Never get pulled into the mud by these people

[iamgoddessoflove]

Once a narcissist can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you.
💙YouTuber That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

[PixelPro-]

Wow! Super accurate. I’ve seen all of these. Yes, the out of the blue rage is super weird. It happens in an instant.

[michaelgadsby]

I truly find this channel to be clear, concise, and very helpful in a pragmatic sense. I have a narc in my life who behaves pretty much verbatim to these examples, and every time I unwisely present my having a good time or if I've been away from my phone unannounced, it's like stepping over the event horizon and into a black hole of emptiness, projection of their foibles onto me, and lumping me into some vague category of the population that 'doesn't care' or 'wishes (they were) dead' etc.
There's a very real sinking feeling in my gut as the behavioural pendulum inevitably swings with childlike predictability, and it's often exhausting keeping my nerve.
However... this has actually helped me recognise certain narcissistic traits in myself, especially from years ago, where each jobless day presented another opportunity to sound my desperate cry for validation. Even if my grounds for it were mediocre, I would often covertly fish for compliments by steering the conversation in that direction. It was truly addictive. I would sometimes aim to draw people to me and prey upon their sympathy and goodwill if I ran out of money when at the pub... and it definitely exacerbated my alcohol use disorder in hindsight. I suppose that was me weaponising my own vulnerability and manipulationg people therein. Elements of grandiosity often manifested as mania, and I would do things like buy rounds in the pub myself in magnanimous display or sing ostentatious, eccentric songs on karaoke that my voice couldn't do justice to in the hope of getting some praise.... if it didn't arrive, then I would press for it with fastidious detail.
It was such a flimsy mock-up of humility and self-awareness when all I really wanted was some attention. I must have really aggravated some people by being such an emotional and financial leach.

I do feel I have a more concrete foundation under my feet now, and my self-worth isn't so dependent anymore on the seeking of attention when it's undeserved, external validation when uneeded, or even when my own efforts feel unrequited...other people do have lives right? I've learnt the hard way that I can't be that solipsistic or the cerebral master of ceremonies because it's liable to be corrupted by my own insecurities about not hitting a certain 'standard'. It all defeats the purpose of being a good friend, citizen, and honest person in general.
Now I think it's my turn to be caught in a narcissist's tentacles, and sometimes the waking dread is palpable. This all has made me realise the hurt I undoubtedly caused, and I can only apologise and make those genuine amendments no matter how much it hurts.

[will_Iam]

What drives me up the wall and is what I deal with daily is the tendency to overreact. It must be a sign of some deep insecurity and until recently I kept questioning whether I was just being too 'helpful' to the point of being insulting, but the more I look at it, the more I realize it has to be their deep insecurity reacting every time I caution, advise, or inform. If someone, besides the narcissist says watch out or be careful - I have no problem with it, but if the narcissist does it I feel like I have a knee-jerk reaction that hates it. I suspect it is because of how touchy that person is when I do it. All-in-all it must be that I don't feel emotionally safe around this person and it is affecting all my interactions with them. P.S. Aren't narcissists deeply insecure by nature anyway? The two biggest ones I have known certainly were and are.

[writer]

My husband and I felt obligated to have his brother and SIL in our wedding party. And the SIL has narcissistic traits--she was the only one who found issues in the two simple things I asked my ladies to do (buy a dress within your budget range and let's do hair and makeup together.) The SIL went to a hair appointment instead and showed up in a borrowed dress. I was pissed bc she flaunts money and how great of a person she is, but my wedding proved her true identity. I don't talk to her at any family gathering to this day. I would rather be friends with a genuine person than an insecure fake one.

[Giselle]

Please do a video on how to help remove the narcissist's hatred. It's so toxic and leads to criminal behaviour. How can we help prevent this?

[Vendetta]

Congrats on 200k subs!
Great content on your channel

[thewaywardtrio]

Christina again what a great video and well researched!

[mimimimi]

I remember the pain! Decades with him. I vaguely remember all the mess. I can't keep watching these videos or I'll never heal and get better. You all have great videos. Enough!

[garycordle]

This is so true Christina 👍 for the video and have a great week 🦋

[cgarza]

Have to remind myself constantly that my vulnerable narcissist saves all his narcissism for me. Others have noticed something off occassionally in interactions but people have a lot of trouble believing what I deal with. Have also seen him gaslight me and subsequently be sympathethic to the same question to someone standing right next to me, within a minute. Crazy. Interruption ABSOLUTELY!!! At minimum twice a week, particularly if another person is present in a conversation. Big narcissist rage both in days of silent treatment and also lashing out, including when our young daughter was present.

[dottyp]

Thank you Christina. Yeah I’ve been on the end of those 😊. I was listening to the channel’ The nameless narcissist’ recently, and I agree with what he says. If it’s just grandiosity, it’s a psychopath, If it’s just vulnerability, it’s borderline. A true narcissist flip flops between the two. He’s a diagnosed narcissist. I agree because that’s my experience with people who I would say are narcissists. Maybe that’s why some of us are confused about what they are sometimes.
😘
Thank you again Christina, you have helped me a lot, YouTubers like you are always there to turn to if you know it or not.

[guntertorfs]

Very useful video : practical examples are an excellent learning tool. Very clarifying. Your sweet demeanor is always very pleasant. You being easy on the eye doesn't harm either.( > a genuine comlpliment from a non- narcissist with plenty of empathy )