ADHD Burnout | Why Does This Keep Happening? 😫

Yes, ADHD burnout is thing. It's actually a BIG thing and if you've ever felt like you always seem to end up here, then you're not alone. Burnout is cyclical and unless you're aware of how it starts, you'll never get past it.

In today's video I'm talking about WHY ADHD brains get burned out, how it's different than typical brains and most importantly HOW to stop the cycle of burnout!

If this video resonates with you, and you'd like support creating stratgies for solving your own burnout cycle, then consider working with me as your coach. I work with adult women with ADHD and the "ADD-ish".

[regierse]

The shame of not being able to juggle as many things as neurotypicals definitely keeps me in the burnout cycle. When I feel like I’m my own worst critic, other people tell me I’m not doing enough or tell me I shouldn’t feel exhausted by my workload/social commitments/etc.

[AuthenticJourney]

I get paralyzed by the shame and guilt of not being able to do what neurotypical’s can do so effortlessly.

[jaeshasway]

In corporate America we often don’t have a choice. They load project on top of project on you and expect for you to not just juggle them but excel beyond normal human limits. 🤦🏽‍♀️

[AM.]

Thank you for including "i have to go to the bathroom" as a ball that is sometimes difficult to manage when there is too much going on.

[ashleymaxwell]

I think what resonated with me the most was that freeze is the most common thing before burnout occurs. I've been experiencing freeze with my job for the past 6 months or so and I'm starting to hit a wall. The burnout is REAL right now and it's so frustrating because it's not that I don't want to do the tasks but I just sit and can't mentally make myself function. Also it does impact the rest of life... I struggle to sleep because I'm worried about work; which then further worsens my struggle to work because on top of being burnt out, I'm also exhausted from lack of sleep. Working out and taking time for myself in the morning then also becomes a struggle because I'm trying to use any precious time to sleep. Then it turns into oversleeping on the weekends. It's just a complete mess at this point. SO. one of my questions is, how do you know when it's your job vs a "you" problem?

[FredChagnon]

That moment when YouTube shows you exactly the video you need to see when you need to see it.

Literally welled up at the mention of the word "shame".

[Scapegoated_Soulmate]

Stuck in burnout year 3 and counting….. worst it’s ever been, I literally had to go to a local hairdresser to have my hair de-matted last week cry😢shower/bath? house chores?? Pfffft self care? I don’t even know how anymore. I’m accomplishing nothing while working 24/7 100mph

[clairethedaydreamer]

I believe I'm undiagnosed with ADHD and ended up dropping out of my masters program because I was so burnt out from all of life's responsibilities (or my perception of certain things in my life being my responsibility to take care of). I wish I'd had you channel as a resource when I was younger. Thank you for doing what you do!

[muadiib]

I did a lot of this juggling and over extending in college full time, started real estate investing, working a full-time job, raising my family, & life in general. It wasn't until I went to the hospital because I thought I was having a heart attack that I finally decided it was time to slow down. Turned out I had so much cortisol in my body I was having physical reactions to it.

[giselac]

I've been unable to work for 5 years due to my body completely shutting down. I was bedridden at a point due to pain and no energy. I have made some progress but it is like swimming upstream and if I stop the things I'm doing (therapy, physio, massage, meditation, supplements etc) I get swept downstream and have to start from the beginning all over again. My doctor was treating me for fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, depression and anxiety for years before she diagnosed me with adhd and that's when I started to make good progress in healing.

[gamewrit]

Good talk and suggestions, especially, "I'll check my calendar and get back to you." I'd like to add a note about habits: Those of us with ADHD typically use our active executive function energy for deciding to do things that neurotypical people have as reflexive habits. We have to actively make decisions at every single step of a supposedly singular task. Proximity and complication are key factors in addressing this challenge. I try to eliminate extra steps and barriers between me and my goals:

For example, I wash all laundry on cold and don't buy special-care clothes. On rough days, I'll go to my mom's to do laundry, because her laundry room is next to the dining room, where I can work at the table and have visual reminders to switch laundry, instead of forgetting it in my basement washer until I run out of underwear. It also eliminates two sets of stairs, which are tough for me physically, not just my distractible brain.

Taking a shower can involve 12 decisions and brushing one's teeth can involve 5 decisions, for example: get up from chair, go to bathroom, get out toothpaste, etc.

I find duplicates of items helpful, so you don't have to go to another location: a broom upstairs and down; deodorant in bedroom, bathroom, and back pack; paper plates for days you don't have the energy to do dishes. A pair of scissors next to the oven, for opening frozen pizza wrappers, and scissors in the cupboard by the kitchen door for opening incoming packages.

I set up my environment for success, taking my advantage of when my brain thinks, ooh, I want to do this thing right now! I leave extra hair combs in the shower with my soap and shampoo - I'll go to pee between tasks, realize I have the spoons (energy) to shower, and get straight in there to wash; then decide I have the energy to wash my hair; and when I'm done, sit on a shower chair to comb my hair.

Any one of those things could have been done individually or grouped by energy level, and since everything is within arm's reach, I've reduced decision making and fatigue. As you said, it's not all or none. It's somewhere in the middle.

My mom has jars of dental picks and pre-pasted single use mini toothbrushes in her shower and by her TV remote, so most days she has at least two opportunities to say, oh yeah, I can take care of my teeth right now!

I've tried time blocking for these self care tasks, but it didn't work for me. Now I've set them up as enticing distractions with no prep time, instead of a required chore at a certain time of day, and I accomplish them more often with less stress.

[WhiteRoseNeko]

I feel terrible all the time. I've hit the point where I can't recall the last time I had a day that didn't involve some sort of pain management, whether it was just breathing through it or taking advil/tylenol/ect.
All I want to do is my business but I can't even seem to figure out how to run that and I constantly feel like I need help but then I feel so ashamed that I can't open my mouth.
And when I have and I got help, I feel both blessed and GUILTY, "why can't I do this? Everyone else can figure this out so why can't I?" Or "why can't I make myself do this anymore?"
I'm so tired... and my body itself has shut down twice and I can tell it's trying to yet again and so I AM trying to prioritize my health and my body so I can keep taking care of others, but I still don't have answers or directions, and this brain fog I've been dealing with for the past 3 years is just taking it's toll. I feel so dumb and stupid all the time.
All I WANT to do is write my book, work with my clients to make them feel better and improve their lives, make videos about the kind of work I do and self care, but how can I even think of making videos when there are already so many of them out there and who would want to look at this ugly fat chick giving them advice to improve their lives when I can't even do it for myself?

I just want to stop everything and start over, isolate and be alone for a year to get over myself.

Gods, I hope if anyone else is going through this that you know it will be okay, that, somehow, we will get through this, even if we don't yet know how! 😭👐💜

[CoryShoemaker]

This feels like listening to my therapist go off for fifteen minutes lol, thank you for the great content 🙏

Edit: "If you don't take care of yourself, your body will stop you. Full stop." is so powerful and true

[catstickler]

Show me a single parent who isn't burned out 🙃

I'm an AuDHD single mom. Overstimulation from my kids + cluttered home actually lead to more intense burnout, even if work is okay. (But burnout from kids + clutter leads to burnout from work eventually.)

[NewPipeFTW]

Started watching video, started reading comments, stopped video, got a message regarding an invite, did a deep dive into travel planning to answer a message, remembered to finish the video, ads, finished video.

1 hour gone on a 14min video.

No wonder i dont get anything done. 😂

[boney]

I actually teared up watching this video. I’m in the midst of intense burnout and this hit me so hard - mainly a sense of sadness at how I have ignored every red flag from my body and mind.

Your tone is so genuine and empathetic which is incredibly comforting. Aside from the solutions, just feeling that level of empathy withou judgement is so healing - especially when feeling so much shame from my “shortcomings”

Thank you so much for making a video that perfectly articulates this experience.

[hollymiller]

I love a professional saying she's at her best between 10-6! That is totally me, but I feel like it's "wrong." Thank you for this video!

[chillwinstonuk]

this is so on the money. a lifetime of this hammers ones self esteem

[jadelamaicea]

When she's talking about things falling off the top shelf and gesturing, I had this mental image of things falling on my head from the shelf above me. SO accurate.

[brendacollinsdeeks]

I’m 65 and just learning how to manage my ADHD. I repeatedly burned out throughout my career and wish I had known that, one, I had ADHD, and, two, that it was causing the burnouts! Better late than never I guess. 😒 Thanks for the advice you are sharing now to help people like me lead more balance and peaceful lives.