How a Late Autism Diagnosis Can Impact Relationships #autism #asd

Hi! I'm Orion Kelly and I'm Autistic. #ActuallyAutistic #orionkelly #autism #autismsigns #whatautismfeelslike #asd

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ABOUT ORION:
Orion Kelly is an #ActuallyAutistic vlogger (YouTuber), podcaster, radio host, actor, keynote speaker and Autistic advocate based in Australia. Orion is all about helping you increase your understanding, acceptance and appreciation of Autistic people.

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⛔️*Disclaimer: The videos contained on this channel are for general education and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute professional advice. For professional advice and training seek assistance from a qualified provider. All views are my own and do not represent those of my employers or sponsors. Some images used are stock images.*⛔️

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[dawnhughes]

It was so important to my family that the problems I had were my own fault for being a bad person that they all refuse to speak to me or acknowledge my asd dx. Late dx has been a catastrophe.

[CurlyHostile]

I was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD this year at 31. When I was diagnosed my friend stated "mental health is all just in peoples heads it's made up" despite autism being a disorder that is associated with co-existing mental health conditions and symptoms. Some people don't/won't understand your experience, and it's ok to discontinue justifying or clarifying a neurodiverse perspective, in a neurotypical setting.. especially if it creates exhaustion :)

[markigirl]

yess it was hard to tell others but luckily my family are trying to be understanding and even had a aha moment of an answer about my peculiar behavior

[raven]

My friends are kind about it, but my family don't care. I try to talk to my mom about it, but she just says stuff like, "Oh, we all go through that, " or "Everyone has problems." To me that translates as "Everyone's on the spectrum, " and "You're using your autism as an excuse."

[nyanbinary]

I was extremely lucky. My partner is also autistic, so all they said was “Oh, that explains some things.”

[lolabloodflowers]

I had my diagnosis at 50, and had comments like, you always seemed alright before, and now you’ve changed. I have no idea who or what I’m supposed to be 5 years on, I also have CPTSD depression and GAD. I have no strength left in me to mask/pretend so I don’t go out, and avoid people as much as I can.

[melissaandre]

That is how it’s going for me. Still a hard road, just a different road now. Well said! Thank you!

[colleenciecura]

I was diagnosed in 2021 and have really learnd a lot about it since and I'm sure more then ever I ASD.
2 people whom are great friends/like family just don't seem to understand that the things they call out of control are just me being autistic and trying to get more information to comprehend better.
The Last 8 months have been emotionally hard at times.
I want to talk with them but it just doesn't happen, they tell me what's wrong with me and how to fix it.
I try to write to them(which is most comfortable for me) but that overwhelmed them because it's so long because of the details and occasionally jumping thoughts that to me are still connected.
I can't thank you enough Orion for these videos.

[grim_dave]

Thanks for this video. At 31 I've been looking back wondering how bad I messed my life up by being determined to figure out my misery and be a happy person before I considered dating through my entire adulthood to date. I got my diagnosis at 28, and have worked been working on myself since. I'm no complete product of a human, but at least I have a full explanation and people can take me or leave me.

[markmuller]

Same for ADHD, I've been diagnosed at 39 and my life has been devastated

[Seattle]

I took an Emotional Intelligence for Professionals class during undergrad that has helped me immensely.

[dwightmcmillan]

Late diagnosis, here. DXed at 46, and now 47. My wife has been great through it all... and my family has pretty much had the "oh, that makes sense" moment... lol.

But it's still hard on the marriage. Suddenly, my whole understanding of myself and my life was turned upside down. I had to figure out how much was me... and how much was the masking. Reevaluating your whole life has a tendency to change everything... and you change along with it.

It has gotten easier, though. My wife is really supportive. I understand myself a lot better. Life hasn't gotten any easier... I've just gotten better at navigating it.

For me... Autism isn't my excuse... it's just part of who I am... and a unique set of challenges for me. I understand my struggles better now... and because of that I am better able to take care of myself.

[ImmortalAmbitions]

This one is so hard.
I shared a simple phrase with a friend who is usually safe, not at all expecting the blow up I received.
If that was how she responded at a simple statement about my considering that I may be diagnosable…
How the fuck
could I even ever feel safe enough
to tell her if/when I do actually receive a diagnosis

[t.f.]

I told my bf that I think he loves the autism in me and he thought about it and then he was ok with my diagnosis thereafter..

[KevintheBarbarian]

😅 tons of people have treated me even more like an alien now! They also avoid me more too oh well 🤷‍♂️ it’s been peaceful too

[chrislocke]

i was diagnosed with asbergers as a child. my dad rejected the diagnosis and encouraged me to believe that i was normal, which he thought was the best for me to not feel alienated. i accepted my diagnosis at 28 and my quality of life has balooned since then. its ok to be different.

[Dystraxia]

Thank you Orion. But what if those loved ones still invalidate my autism? It seems like everyone has shrugged me off. instead of understanding, I find alienation. 😢

[parmachine]

I found out at 67. Explained a life time of odd interactions. Mother was forced to tell me at 10, but the word autism meant nothing to me and I soon forgot about it any way. What did she know anyway? The family plan was to never talk about it and that worked. Always wondered why I was different and treated special. When she told me, she said it wasn't retarded. I was the last person in my little town to know although nobody Knew the name in the fifty's and sixty's. My family tree is littered with autism. We do quite well in school. I don't hide it I embrace it in them and me. Y B Norm Al? Much easier understanding who you are than beating yourself up because you can't be one of those human 1.0's

[panthercat]

I just *love* when people say you've changed after being diagnosed with something you've always had 😒

[paulmichaelfreedman]

Yup. diagnosed at 50, now nearly 52, and what you say hits the nail on the head in my case. What's worse, the one who invalidates anything autistic, is my partner and has ADHD both types herself. As you can imagine, my relationship is not what it was and will probably pop soon. I cannot have a civilised conversation with her. I have high functioning autism plus ADHD inattentive type and have learned to keep myself in check most of the time, and my partner...is not the brightest light, if you catch my drift. Now I don't have a problem with that but it prevents her from seeing and understanding me. Same thing at work, I have a Boss who can't see further than his nose and am constantly getting shit on for the littlest things.Ironically enough, the only one who immediately accepted my diagnosis was my first ex and mother of my children because she also recognized traits in our girls.