15 questions to ask yourself when you first start dating someone. #dating #relationships #therapy

[ashley]

I can, without doubt, say yes to all of these questions since meeting the most amazing man! I love his handsome good looks, but even more I infinitely love his soul the most! He makes me feel so loved, safe, secure, sexy, important...I could go on and on! #Blessed

[liamoneil]

These are so great on reflecting on a previous relationship too. Love you Jeff

[MarkWhiley]

The server in a restaurant thing is SUCH a tell. I was on a date and the other guy called the waitress a bitch when she walked away. It's over there and then, I'm not ever introducing a guy like that to my mother. He was told.

[kierlak]

1st question is so important ❤ Question 6 also an essential one in my view.

Also: following "Do they know how to express their needs ?" - Do they know their needs in the first place? In other words: do they know what they want out of a relationship and out of life in general ?

Question I would ask: "Are they being authentic, true to their core identity and not being afraid of that ?"

Also: "Are they comfortable being vulnerable in front of me, e.g. sharing their insecurities etc ?"

[heathergalvin]

Hi- love your videos!
After a failed marriage and lots of therapy, I thought I was asking the right questions when I was first dating the person I'm in a relationship with. We didn't have any conflict until about 7mos in. It was to me a huge red flag when we did, and I was headed for the hills... they apologized, seemed sincere, said that we were just having a misunderstanding due to different communication styles and upbringings, and he wanted to work on it. Long story short, about 13mos in, we ended up moving in together (we weren't ready but his landlord decided to sell, he moved in with me, then my landlord decided to sell. About 2months into cohabitation at the place we were now both on the lease- I discovered that more than half of the things he'd told me previously were untrue (about upbringing, relationships, his marriage and things he wanted in life) I found out because of conversations with his parents, sister, old friends. I started therapy again, even let him come because he was bent out of shape I was going. Therapist told me after 2 sessions (my partner over-took the entire session- continuing to talk over the therapist, not responding to questions, disregarding ground rule and finished the 2nd session by assigning her "homework" in response to her assignment) that she didn't feel that he was there to resolve anything in the relationship, that he seemed to be there more to derail my sessions and that he displayed what she believed to be narcissistic traits. I'd already suspected (my husband of 20 yrs went to therapy for Biopolar, Boarderline Personality Disorder and Narcissism. He'd also been in recovery 15yrs). Anyway... How do you know when someone is being honest or just putting on a show? I don't think I'm ignorant or naive. I did want to believe what was being portrayed, and he seemed to have lots of people who thought highly of him, but instead I've discovered that he only has 2 relatively close friends, the others are primarily acquaintances and they all seem to know him as different people (meaning he fits into whatever situation he needs to). The 2 "closer friends" have both told me things about him that had I known I'd have said no to the first date. I'm trying to prepare to leave in the next 2 mos. How do you know when they're giving all the right answers, saying the right words, but they're just full of sh*t!?

[FreyaGem]

Do they know themselves well enough to know what they want and be able to express their feelings? And do I feel like I am really heard and seen when I share things with them?

[angelc]

After answering the questions, what to do with the answers?

[olleyey]

why exactly is number 13 ( how do they treat servers at a restaurant) so important? what will it tell about them?