Autism And Coping Strategies| Purple Ella

Autism and coping strategies. How to move on from unhealthy coping strategies and learn to choose and use healthy ones. Lets do this together! More below.

A little bit about me:
Hi I'm Purple Ella and my family is an autism family with three out of five of us on the autistic spectrum. So life can be a challenge but also a lot of fun.

Helpful links

[lIvlongbalive]

I used cigarettes in the same way. I gave up so many times only to have a meltdown, go straight for a cigarette and get re-addicted again. The only thing that broke the cycle for me was CBD vape because it isn't addictive like e cigarettes but there is the emotional relief you feel by inhaling something that is going to calm you down so it replaced the need for nicotine. As it isnt addictive, once the meltdown is over you forget about it. Eventually it had been so long since I had nicotine that I got out of the habit of thinking about it and stopped craving it all together. It feels good to be finally free of the cigarettes at 39 years old.

[marcyxfinn]

My biggest unhealthy habits have been eating, self harming, drugs, and smoking. I have stopped doing these things. Sometimes I do need to just get out of my own house and sit in the forest and cry and let my emotions out because I don’t always feel safe doing it in the house because of the thin walls. When I’m alone with myself and I’m feeling particularly overwhelmed I’ll sing or just make sounds according my emotions. Dancing helps too. The biggest thing that helps is drawing or even scribbling. I’ve had to do this recently while I was still getting out of the habit of smoking weed. All of my friends were going to smoke and I had just had a dispute with my roommates and I really wanted to just take the easy way out but instead I picked up a pen and just started scribbling. I felt much better afterwards even if some of the emotions remained

[channelisclosed]

As an autistic mom, Im so thankful for your videos. Your thought process of telling myself..."im going to feel this way now, it's going to be overwhelming right now, this will end"... Is extremely liberating! I just hope I can remember that in the moment when my 'bucket is full' and it's all too much.

[HarrietFitzgerald]

Running away, yes! I've learned to sense an impending doom and telling the person I'm with to stop, only my husband actually because he's the only one I'm comfortable enough with, ironically though he doesn't listen. 😞 he really doesn't get my struggles and when I say stop, I mean stop and actually things should've stopped awhile ago.

[BadgerLord]

as an autistic person who was recently told so.. its hard to experience things in general and learning about myself. I too have quit smoking recently. I need to find a special interest that is cheap and avalible. i have games but they're not always avalible

[jakeuhhb]

I was diagnosed with Aspergers when I was 10… something that I still struggle to accept at 22… theres so many things always going on in my mind and it’s extremely hard to focus for me. Something that occurs alot is my moods always fluctuate depending on my situation. For example, At work I always find myself overwhelmed and extremely anxious. I always get so afraid of things that I put these alternate realities in my head of the results of my work for the morning crew that ultimately make me extremely pessimistic and make me work even harder. Its not easy to cope with and if on the wrong side of the road, could lead to severe mental issues. Something I struggle with immensely. Im glad to have found this video and this is something like I said, I have hated to accept about myself and have fought so hard not to be that in reality, its who I am but I should see the good rather than the bad. Im extremely creative especially in my solo work with music. I tend to remember alot of things that not alot of people would remember. My childhood is like a hard drive in my brain (crazy analogy i know. Lol) I remember alot of things from the past and I absorb so much new knowledge and… its something Ive always cherished about my personality.

[segwrites]

Thank you, Ella! I was recently diagnosed with ASD, along with my oldest child too. Prior to diagnosis, maintaining a good, healthy marriage and having children (although excruciatingly exhausting 😔) were about the only things that ended my poor coping strategies (like smoking, sex, etc.); however, I adopted new ones like online shopping when stressed... 🤦‍♀️

I felt totally broken and lost prior to the informal, pandemic-time diagnosis, but now I finally have a path and a community of people who are similar to me. Being treated my whole life like an outsider and a “bad person” did some serious damage, but I’m so grateful to know now, and to also have amazing people like you to help guide me (and my daughter) forward. Thank you, Ella! Excitedly subscribed!

[JH-oykp]

I’m not officially diagnosed but after hitting a wall with my mental health, and feeling like it was more of a symptom of a problem and not the problem itself, has led me to suspect I may be on the spectrum. Unfortunately I am already utilizing most of the skills but still struggling

[lornajoy]

Yoga has really helped me. I used to be skeptical about it, but I decided to try it and started in March this year. It's really revolutionised my life. It's helped me with relaxation, but also with my posture, which has reduced some of the pain I have in my upper back.

[DL-hbww]

Run away and unhealthy internet are my natural strategies ...recently I started to switch to my special interest...yoga mindfulness and meditation make me more anxious..thx for sharing

[Sky-Child]

A helpful video Ella :) as someone who is REALLY struggling with being an undiagnosed autistic mother, your videos always help

[Gudregerar]

Oh I have run away so much in my life! So often run out into the forest as a child. As a grownup been running to my room sobbing and feeling awful and just as you say…save the others from me.

[Theiris]

Chewigems also help in place of things you’d usually do with your mouth- like smoking. I used to cope with cigarettes, but someone suggested I sensory seek with my mouth a lot and changing to a chewigem might also help! You may have already tried them, but I bought a chewy dog tag from chewigem and it’s great when I’m stressed or need to soothe

[CherryxBlossom]

Thank you so much for sharing this. I am realizing I have ASD after being misdiagnosed with both bipolar types and BPD. ADHD is the only thing right. ASD's become more obvious as I am once again in/entering burnout, and have had to quit my job and move in with family. They still do not know I'm autistic although the traits there. I am trying to figure out how to cope, especially with the constant guilt I feel from puling back from socializing. My ADHD will have me impulsively make or accept a plan (because 'fun', thats what I used to be able to do, or need to process/feel less insane), but then burnout makes itself known leaving me in a terrible, usually harmful meltdown or even more shut down, because I have none I don't mask around. I can't describe the overwhelm and distress. Your tip about scheduling talks with close friends when feeling emotionally overwhelmed and just needing to get it out to someone, is such a great reminder for me. I can rest assured I can process at some point, but in a way/time that it is manageable and that I can prepare for.

[joseph]

This helps me so much and makes me feel ok, finally. Thank you so much for helping me that much closer to finding myself. Only coping strategy I’ve used sitting with negative feelings with waiting it out and thinking it’s only a now thing. Earlier in my life, I just ran and it did shine a bad light on me with my “friends” at the time and my brother.
Thank you so much again.

[Gudregerar]

I got fatigue syndrome for 2, 5 yrs ago. SO much panic-attacks and anxiety!!! I HAD to learn relaxing techniques!! I started with one of my special interests; learning Italian. And learned how to relax one part of the body at the time in Italian!! Made it doable for me! And then after learning this and also coherent breathing I became much more able to pray my rosary (meditation prayer in the Catholic faith) and really come into peace! Now I go and lay down several times/a day and pray like this to keep calm. Another way I just learned, is to take a walk with our dog! It’s my daughter’s dog, so I usually don’t go out with him. But the other day when I felt so empty of energy in my head after a loooong investigation talk with a nurse my eyes fell on the dog, and I knew that that was the best thing to do right then! Did it again today when I was stressed out after get my kids ready for school. In my childhood and youth I have also used good tools without knowing it…always written my feelings in a diary and also poetry and writing songs that I then played at the piano. Drawing has also been a go to as a child. Not so much now. Maybe I should start again! 😊 Big hug!!!! I hear you! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[olschool]

My adult son was diagnosed on the spectrum as a 33 yr old. We want to help, as he is high functioning with 2 master's degrees, but the degrees have not translated into the ability to find a career. He actually is paying a company $5 per hour to work 20 hours a week for data entry. We want him to learn to cope with interactions with people, and utilize his great mind in finding a career, but he has no interest, as he is comfortable. His coping choice is Candy. Iit has made him Fat, but he goes to it everytime he is stressed. I know he must want to change before he will be able to move forward, but not certain how to help him do that. Autism undiagnosed sucks for adults, as there doesn't seem to be many resources to help!!!

[richieroof]

Ugh I have some more mild to moderate autism and boy oh boy... when it comes to retail and men flirting with me/harassing me (being a victim of rape), my brain just either goes into enraged mode and wanting to cry and flee the scene, or just straightforwardly pretending reality in that moment isn't real. So glad what I experience is certainly not distinct from other autistics.

[sisyphus]

Thank you for being so open with your experience. I've dealt with (and still am dealing with) sensory overload and fixation. It's been really nice hearing our similarities and having a face to put with one of those anonymous people I know are like me♡

[Siures]

Hm, I think Running is a quite healthy strategy. I tend to get aggressive when overwhelmed and going for a walk gives me space to calm down and then I can go back, say I am sorry and look if there really was a conflict or it was only my incapability to handle a situation. It is a strategy I now try to find a different solution for, because I now have two little children I cannot leave on their own. But in general it’s OK for me and not unhealthy or problematic. I told my friend and family: This is what I need and everyone is OK with it.