Miscellaneous Myths: Cú Chulainn

EDIT: It has been brought to my attention that I reeeeeally can't pronounce Cú Chulainn ;-;

You asked, and it was delivered! Here are (some of) the tales of Cu Chulainn, Legendary Hero and Human Disaster!

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The mythosymphony itself:
The independently-available soundtrack:

MERCH LINKS:

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[JanPospisilArt]

Cu Chulain doesn't just tie himself to a standing stone. He ties himself to it with HIS OWN INTESTINES hanging out of his cut up belly.
So yeah, pretty metal.

[taicanium]

Cú Chulainn: "Hey, can I marry your daughter?"
Forgall: "Absolutely not."
Cú Chulainn: "YOUR FREE TRIAL OF LIVING HAS ENDED."

[Gnagniel]

"Cursed the men to have labor pains in their hour of need" that is an S tier curse, fantastic.

[stebbenwolfe]

I like how adorably you drew the soon to be slaughtered children.

[SingingInferno]

Bit of historical fun fact: "Cu" was a prefix given to any Irish man that managed to earn the loyalty of a dog, as hounds were EXTREMELY respected in Ireland at the time.

[noaim]

"Even in death Cú Chulainn will ruin your day"
Kirei learn that the hard way

[tonyhakston]

Wait, Cú Chulainn is the incarnation of his dad?
And took three days to recover after getting wrecked?
Is... is Cú Chulainn War Jesus?

[cphtfluke]

"A little misadventure with The Morrigan."
You mean that time The Chooser of the Slain came to Cu Chulainn in the form of a maiden and offered to lay with him, but he refused her and so she attacked him in the river as an eel until he plucked out her eye, and then she attacked him as a wolf until he broke 3 of her ribs, and then she charged him as a heifer until he broke one of her legs. She then appeared as a bent and broken crone, with all of her injuries, and offers him a drink from the cow she is milking. To thank her for the milk, he heals her injuries.
Recap: The Morrigan tried to kill Cu Chulainn three times after he refused to bed her, and he defeated her each time, which should be triple impossible since her divine power is literally to decide who falls in battle.
On a side note, the raven who landed on Cu Chulainn after his death was also probably The Morrigan.

[chaserpurple]

"It is I, your fairy Dad-mother!"
'nough said

[krankarvolund]

"Cù Chulainn was an incarnation of Lugh wich was also, confusingly, his father"
Christianity: I see no confusion in this.

[bcmarcin]

What I learned:
Celtic Mythology is very metal
Christianity wanted it to be less metal
Christianity was unsuccessful and it’s still metal

[AlexThePyroshark]

For anyone who's (rightfully) angry at Queen Medb for fucking up Cu Chuulainn's life in the last part of the video, rejoice: despite all her cunning and cloak and dagger, she would find death at the hands of a piece of cheese. Like, seriously, look it up, I did a double take when I found out.

[danieloceansmith]

The funniest thing about this In my opinion is how cu’s first loss...
Is to boobs.
That feels so protagonisty it’s like it spawned two haram anime seasons

[ryebread]

Wait, this woman outran race horses while pregnant?! Give me some of those genes.

[notafunnyguy]

The reason why he has to use the Gae Bulg on Ferdiad is that Ferdiad's skin is as hard as metal so no weapons could harm him so our hero has to use the Gae Bulg, a weapon that could pierce any armor to kill Ferdiad.

[commanderbastard]

Emer's Dad: I hate this guy who is crazy skilled, let's send him to train with a deity of war!

Genius.

[nyxarachne]

Red: “I wish more characters used this tactic when their friends turned evil.”
Highschool DxD: *furiously scribbling notes*

[wakingdragon]

> Aife has Cu Chulainn's child
> Red says "Cool? How old is he again?"

> Dog dies in the odyssey
> Red says
Clearly, a women with the right priorities

[lemeres]

For those wondering- Geass is basically a "superman with kryptonite" style super power. You get a big boost as long as you follow some rule- such as not eating dog meat. However, the strongest warriors might get that way because they have multiple geass. And those might contradict. Like "accept any meal offered by an old lady".
Yes. It is an entire mechanic set up for failure.

[korpsmaninfantry]

To quote actually satan "He's basically Irish Hercules Rin!"