Break Free: Essential Steps to Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[suzyhomeacre]

I forgive Myself for believing & just hoping..that they loved me, as I loved them.

[sushmayen]

We're the innocent one's here. Healing begins with seeing things as they're. Not sugar coating and not self blaming.

[TimetoWonder]

Absolutely red flags classes should be taught in school or at least a unit during health class.

[ikasugami]

1. 0:26 - Let go of the self-blame
2. 6:38 - Focus on forgiving yourself
3. 15:42 - Embrace your feelings
4. 23:37 - Seek support
5. 32:24 - Make time for self-care

[annamariebrown]

Dr.Ramani, You deserve the Nobel Prize.

[opticalmixing]

It's so hard hearing a narcissist being negative for 30 minutes; it breaks down your positive energy vibe. You don't want to say one thing wrong because you don't want to piss someone off, so it's like you're just walking on eggshells.

[danarchambault]

Living with a narcissist, is a one way dead end street

[happyflower]

I ignored the red flags, because I was so desperate to keep trying to make the relationship work. Plus his behavior was similar to what I grew up with, so it was familiar and I thought I could handle it. I believed the lies and future faking— I was still naive. Then I got pregnant. Finally divorced after 20 years. I had to stay to protect our children. I feel destroyed by his abuse. Recovery is hard work, especially because I still have to interact with him to some extent about kids. I don’t forgive him. He’s a horrible person. The women before me got away from him. I’m just really sad I was the one who got caught long term and had children with him.

[yetxbjs]

Ask them to do something for you. Something small. Something you would do for them with no hesitation. If they are narcissistic or otherwise toxic, it will ALWAYS go at least 1 of 4 ways (though sometimes these reactions may compound): They will act as though they didn’t hear you. Depending on how long you’ve been in the relationship, you may ask again. If it’s been long enough, you’re likely to drop the request right then and there.

They will promise to do it, but never follow through.
If you ask again or remind them, they will usually have some kind of excuse. In these cases, they will still never actually fulfill their promise. Their excuse is not a reason for lagging, it is the reason they should be absolved from all expectation whatsoever. Often this excuse will be meaningless or an outright lie.If you don’t buy their excuse, and tell them so, you will experience the wonderful segue into reaction.

An argument will ensue
The argument will be your fault. It could be a small back and forth contending against your request, or it might quickly devolve into them screaming at you. You never know which it will be. They might even say outright that you should never ask or expect anything from them. Usually they will express that you are asking too much, hurting them in some way (financially, emotionally, insulting them, etc), or attack your character.
The argument will only end when you relinquish your request + apologize, or start ignoring them completely. If you can ignore them long enough, they may apologize to you. However, the conflict will never feel truly resolved.
At this juncture they may actually end up giving you what you asked for. Often this does require you admitting that you don’t really need it, or that you would be fine with what they suggested instead. This leads us to reaction

They give you what you asked for, BUT

[TimetoWonder]

I forgive myself for believing he cared about me, as well as others throughout my life. My parents were narcissists so I have dealt with a lot of narcissists unknowingly because I thought that was what love looked like. I'm truly thankful for the information you share.

[carolynjaynes]

When I went no contact with all the abusive narcissists, I literally had no one left. The grief was profound, but it also felt like a healthy clearing out, a clean slate, and making room for the empathic, reciprocal relationships I want and deserve.

[Seethegood]

He sure found the pot of gold with me. If it weren't for Dr. Ramani, I never would have seen it. I have been surrounded by takers my whole life.

[youngblood]

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Applies to being in a relationship with a narcissist. You can't go back and change the beginning but you can start where you are and change the ending.

[phalinimcleod]

I wept as I listened to this presentation because it is so real, so true. Narcissistic Abuse Respite Care--NARC--is a necessity
We need Narcissistic Abuse Respite Centers in every part of this world.

[suzyhomeacre]

The people watching these relationships blame the survivors as well, because we trusted the narc & went back. It’s hopeless to go back though. It only gets worse.
I’ve become blamed in the recent past.
People don’t understand the abuse that follows an attempted NC.
I just caved and spoke to them. Bad idea..
I’m learning to ignore the narc and the judgment from others.

[MagdaRobinson-cvuu]

Knowing it is ok to acknowledge all your feelings including those you denied, is so freeing. Journaling helps

[cynthiawlaughlin]

I forgive myself for believing that he loved me and falling for it. I love myself enough to heal

[lolowuzhere]

After 28 years I have decided to go No Contact with my father. During our last moments together he was so disconnected from me I knew it was time. He has also now been radicalized by redpill content online and is no longer a covert misogynist but a very out and open one. He is far gone but I am not.

I don’t grieve him. I grieve that dad I deserved.

[ephvvonlyway]

What a lot of people don't realize is that forgiving someone doesn't mean they have to let them back into their lives or things have to go back to the way they were. You can forgive and still go nc to protect yourself. You can forgive and still press charges. And so on

[BaeBe-tznk]

Your Book "Its Not You" is helping me revive the Good in my soul thankyou so much