'Chronic Misunderstanding' in the Neurodiverse Marriage is Nothing to Fear!

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[scmom]

I have to say that just because I know it’s chronic doesn’t make it any easier. After 40 plus years I am TIRED. Hear what I’m saying? We had our first miscommunication before we awake 10 minutes this morning and it’s just been a series of unfortunate events all day. Lord help me some days I just can’t take it anymore.

[markhutten]

Points to consider:
• Perspective gives us a better understanding and greater empathy.
• Perspective helps us to understand situations from other positions, to consider other beliefs, experiences and viewpoints.
• Perspective reduces bias and judgement.
• Perspective reduces conflict.
• The ability to understand how a situation appears to another person and how that person is reacting cognitively and emotionally to the situation is crucial in a ND marriage.

[musica]

Wow. There's a lot of help in this short video. It's a challenge to remember this in the moment. I so badly want an "NT" response sometimes. But staying regulated after I see we've misunderstood one another (yet again) is getting much easier thanks to everything you teach. Thank you.

[Ashleemariee]

This is a very helpful video. You know we are taught sort of that if there is chronic misunderstanding that it is something inherently wrong in the relationship (based on neurotypical expectations of relationships). I suppose the issue is not whether or not there is chronic misunderstanding but more-so the reaction to the misunderstanding that comes across as disrespectful or unloving. The misunderstandings can be disheartening and really exhausting for both parties.

[Raminakai]

I don't know if anyone else can relate, but I always saw myself in the characters from Doc Martin..Doc and Loiusa.
That show was so well written, showing the misunderstandings that can happen between people, especially with ASD 1 challenge.
What always intrigued me, was that Louisa believes herself to be nureotypical, but she is not.
She is just as quirky, but in different ways than Martin. She maybe has CPTSD/ and RAD. Intimacy isn't easy for her either.
This show helped me work through some issues, especially those rare moments when Martin was able to work through his wall, and be tender, express his love.

[pennikershner]

You have been such a blessing to us. I thank god for you. Please know. Thank you Mark.

[Jumpingjoep]

Well put Mark. The mind blindness goes both ways.

[martyjoyking]

Yea sir, that’s us. It gets very exhausting.

[martyjoyking]

Thank you so much Mark! You are an answer to my prayers. I thank God for you!!!!
God bless you! ❤

[lesliemcclare]

Wow. This is amazing. So question - you suggested in another video to not see a (I’m sorry I’m not going to say it properly) neurotypical therapist? I’m sorry, that may not be right. But you’re saying to seek the help of a specialist in this fiend, correct? For both of us? For couples counseling? I’m seeing a therapist but he will not. Yet. He is in denial like you talked about previously. So how do we get to the point where he is willing to see a specialist? This is all very very new for me, and I’m trying so hard to maneuver these waters. It is difficult though alone. 😢

[stephaniethompson]

Thank you Mr Hutten! You help me so much

[markhutten]

ASD+NT Couples resources:

Parenting resources:

[maggiea]

True. Can't cope with the yelling and put downs any more. Only allowed to speak when he says. Much more. Nah I'm out

[TonyaBrewton]

Do you have any videos on ASD spouse/ partner and having affairs? 😢