What Psychopathy and Borderline Personality Disorder Do and DO NOT Have in Common

What Psychopaths and Borderline Personality Disorder Do and DON'T Have in Common

Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:

Order The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook by Dr. Fox:

In this video we unpack the misperceived high overlap between BPD and psychopathy. I attempt to clear the confusion and stigma that these are equal disorders, which they are absolutely not. Watch as I do a deep dive and clear up this misunderstanding. Remember, knowledge is empowerment.

Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and a multi-award winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 15 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.

He has published several articles in these areas and is the author of:

Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:

Thank you for your attention and I hope you enjoy my videos and find them helpful and subscribe. I always welcome topic suggestions and comments.

[Iquey]

I think a lot of sufferers of BPD wish we could be psychopathic. It would be less painful/we'd be able to let go of our issues or past traumas and fears and just move on.

[trUdeny]

For someone with BPD who's always thought they had that little evil trait, this video sure did me justice.

[charlotteb]

I noticed the following: Psychopaths have low activity of the amydala and express less emotion, they also commonly have lower cortisol levels (i.e. low reaction to stresses). However, with borderline perdsonality disorder they were found to have high activity of the amydala, express intense emotional sensitivity (i.e. mood instability, including major depression or/and rage) and tend to have a higher cortisol level (i.e. high reaction to stresses).

[MyLoveShineForYou]

I think, because I grow up with both psycopaths & BPD people, I hade no "firewall" to detect this kind of people, so I have met many psycopaths, ruined my life. And also I was programmed to "serve" this kind of people, which attracted them. Now I just want to be alone.

[Hinatafanever]

This was really informative and helpful. For a time after receiving my BPD diagnosis, I obsessively read about BPD and saw a lot of people saying that BPD was essentially a form of psychopathy. I internalized this and came to believe myself to be evil and psychopathic.

I'm not, though my BPD was severe and I had a history of conduct issues.

Thank you for your continued videos. They've helped me grow insight and grow as a person <3

[SarahLB]

Sometimes I used to exaggerate the things I did because I wanted school friends to like me, I did feel terribly embarrassed and guilty. My mother made me feel worthless I wasn't even allowed to sit at the dinner table. So I compensated by spinning these great places I visited in the mean time I had never done such a thing. Its dreadful when, to make oneself feel your okay, you exaggerate your life, which felt meaningless. I feel sad for those days I felt the need to do that. 😔

[Geshtafshnifka]

What I’ve noticed from Dr Fox is that he’s always been a huge advocate for BPD folks and that is so beautiful! I’m not diagnosed with BPD but I have a lot of things going on for a long time, and BPD the quiet type feels relatable to me. I guess my point is thank you Dr. Fox.

[nilibe]

I am so excited and grateful for this topic! Not only will it finally put an end to the confusion which up to now has led the two to be lumped together, but it will also help people with BPD become more aware of the internal splitting they experience which causes them to believe they are "evil".

[cynigirlutube]

Bpd - shame, guilt and remorse may not be evident right away, but it hits later, HARD. Its overwelmingly painful to reflect on what you've done.

[ladybaabaa]

This is really interesting to me, as someone with BPD who is also on the ASPD spectrum.

Contrary to many people's opinions, I never feared I was "psychopathic" because of my BPD, but rather, I actually thought I COULDN'T have ASPD or be Sociopathic BECAUSE I have BPD and there were too many opposites.

I have all 9 diagnostic criteria for BPD. I'm 43 and had no idea that I had it until a few years ago. My most outwardly problematic behaviours and patterns of instability were from age 16 to my early 30s. Self harm, explosions of anger and abuse, and frequent "splitting". BUT...these destructive traits only came out to my "Favourite Person". No one else. Nobody would EVER have suspected I had any issues like that. I hid everything, was very good at putting on facade, at acting, and could turn my explosions on and off like a switch. The hideous FEELINGS were still there, but I just behaved normally. (Not because I was some sort of bully in private and who wanted to look good in front of other people, but because I found it painfully embarrassing to show ANY negative emotions in front of anyone except my Favourite Person. So they got it all. Lucky them! lol)

I did ALWAYS take responsibility and ownership once I was "myself" again, but for many years, it was a pattern of hideous behaviour, apologising and owning it, and then doing it again.

I mention my age because the manifestations of my BPD have changed somewhat. I used to CONSTANTLY seek external validation, admiration, reassurance, comfort, and attention. Now, I am just SO VERY bored. All the time. Nothing brings me pleasure. I no longer seek out attention because it does nothing for me anymore. I sleep most of the day to avoid feeling like this. So horribly empty. I used to be a shopaholic, love thrill rides, and was quite adventurous, without fear. Now...no. Bored.

I know longer outwardly explode. I learned that I CAN control my behaviour and that it's just not worth the outbursts as it always made everything worse.

I'm still internally unstable though, and can get into inner rages with violent thoughts and hateful intentions towards ONLY my Favourite Person. No one else. (I'm irritable, impatient and intolerant of most people, but that's not the same thing.)

I feel DEEPLY and am hyper sensitive and can be reactive to my FP. I have huge levels of empathy for them, as well as 3 other people in my life who I really love, and ALL animals. I feel enormous love, guilt, fear of losing them, and I'm protective of them. But no one else. I don't care about anyone else. (I still have high cognitive empathy for people though. I understand how they think and feel. But I don't care.)

Which brings me to the ASPD side of things. I would be in jail if I'd ever been caught for my various crimes. I don't care. I just want what I want. I crave money and power, because to me, they equate to control and freedom. And a part of me wants to feel superior. Also, I'm smart, but lazy. So I've done things to "earn money" that were illegal, and only stopped some of them when I had to (when the risks became too great. I refuse to ruin my life.)

I did hurt certain animals as a kid...a baby bird, and I burnt and killed snails on a BBQ. I didn't do it for excitement. It was just interesting to observe them. I had 2 cats that I grew up with, and who I loved DEEPLY. I didn't associate my love for animals with the snails or the bird.

I lie as easily as I tell the truth. Sometimes I don't even have a reason for it. I just talk and stuff comes out. Again, I don't care. Other more purposeful times I lie to avoid getting in trouble, to get what I want, to feel superior, or for non-ASPD reasons, to avoid hurting, stressing out or disappointing my few loved ones.

I have a parasitic lifestyle. I don't work and never wanted to. I am an opportunist who will appear to be "normal" and "decent" with paying bills and such, but I'll often find ways to avoid paying. Because I don't want to "lose" money on things I don't value. Like bills. I never do any housework, washing or cooking. Nope.

I feel like the deep motivation behind ASPD behaviour is wants, and the deep motivation behind BPD behaviour is fears. I have both, entangled.

I also feel like, unless I deeply love someone or they're my FP, I am dormant in terms of the BPD, but high on the ASPD spectrum. Because I don't care.

I also have co-morbidities like long term anxiety (since age 4), CPTSD, OCD, and Major Depressive Disorder.

clearly I enjoy talking about myself! lol

[exovit]

As someone with BPD, I actually related to the psychopath on the level of boredom. Im very bored all the time. I find entertainment in nothing and very much a sensation seeker.

[williamkoscielniak]

When I was younger I was really scared that I might be a sociopath because I had a dark side to me that was infatuated with criminals/villians and idolized some scary people, and I could become so deeply filled with rage and desire vengeance. But I also could feel empathy, and sometimes too damned much of it. So it confused me.

Over time I realized that I simply was deeply traumatized and that different aspects of my psyche were stuck at different stages and learned to cope in different ways. There was a terrible sorrow in me that I couldn't handle and so I had to wall myself off from it and in turn I would feel anger and then (usually with the help of alcohol) hatred. I think I idolized certain people who were violent and lashed out at society because I wished that I had the ability to stand up for myself and feel like I had some respect, and because I had almost no ability to deal with confrontation or stand up for myself, I would become really resentful and then I would drink and idolize terrible people and fantasize that I had that type of respect, power, and recognition because I felt so damned inferior, powerless, and invisible. My fantasy life was the antithesis of my actual lived life. In the real world I couldn't function or seem to do anything right, so I had to somehow try and convince myself that somehow I actually mattered, and so I'd imagine being somebody while feeling like I was actually nobody.

[HagakureJunkie]

Except in prison, you're looking at the people who get CAUGHT. They're low-functioning psychopaths. The psychopath charms his way out of that nonsense.

[mellowella]

when i was getting diagnosed years ago, a doctor told me she did not and COULD not diagnose me with BPD because she didn’t see me as being ‘dangerous’ enough. as if people w bpd are a danger and a menace to society.
she said it like it was a horrible diagnosis .. now, years later and in DBT, i don’t mind my diagnosis of having BPD (which 2 psychiatrists have diagnosed me with) and i am so grateful for your videos! ❤️
cheers to all the borderlines thriving! IT IS POSSIBLE. right therapist, right meds, right lifestyle (not saying there is a right or wrong) i could say, a HEALTHY lifestyle. with balance and believing in oneself!

once again, thanks dr Fox💓

[niamhroberts]

I have BPD, and also watch a lot of true crime documentaries and it breaks me to see so many police and investigators and just people in those professions make direct links and statements about the murderers having bpd or personality disorders - saying that was the cause and reasons for them to harm and murder or just simply the reason for their behaviour being so flawed - a way to tarnish the whole community with the same brush.. thank you so much for this video 🙏🏼

[TheDavveponken]

!!! Read the update underneath, I was duped !!!! I began to suspect I had borderline. Turns out, I found out today, I have adhd (ADD) and high functioning autism (and a pretty high IQ). It's pretty obvious how that combination can result in serious frustration, which may or may not bring with it mood swings and acting out (although I myself don''t act out, except in my early childhood). People with adhd also often times receive a lot of criticism at a young age (because of acting out or not being able to get ready in time, etc etc), which can be traumatizing.

For anyone suspecting you have bpd there might be an idea to look into adhd and autism.

Update: I took the drugs and they fucked me up beyond recognition. After doing some digging and reflecting upon the process in which I was diagnosed the evidence doesn't hold up. There is no certainty that adhd/or high functioning autism in the way it is diagnosed and defined does in fact exist, but rather they seem to expressions of personality disorders or traits such as bpd. I am now convinced I am suffering from severe bpd traits and nothing else. Psychiatrists and psychologists in general seem to have no clue about how trauma works or how to treat it. Look up the youtube channel Patrick Teahan. He is great for trauma-work. And also, of course, keep checking out Daniel Fox. Don't be fooled by the adhd-lobby. Also hot/cold therapy/cold baths are a tremendous help for a calm state of mind.

[markhall]

I am 44 year old guy, who diognosed with BPD 3 years ago, and I am only starting dbt therapy in September this year.

Thank you for all your excellent videos mr Daniel Fox.

I only watch you as I feel I can connect with you and the way you explain things is top notch stuff. Your a legend mate.

Thank you

Ben makins
London.

[albywhitelady]

I can relate to the psychopathic profile as I know someone with some of those traits. I suffer from BPD and I have ended some relationships recently. I realized that I was "mirroring" that person, although that experience helped me discover certain skills I didn't know I had, but I also realized that my life became empty because I focused everything on that person. Nobody will ever be there as much as you need and nobody can ever be responsible for your happiness or fulfillment.

[matthewcotterill]

My wife is very intetested in true crime and criminal profiling. She has admitted that she thinks there is a strong chance, that if i let myself, i could be a serial killer. She has told me, if you can't be proud of who you are, be proud of who you didn't let yourself be. I'm 20 months sober now and still feel no pride in that. It's difficult to feel pride when your view of yourself is so low. I'm reasured by this video that perhaps i'm not as bad as i see myself. Thank you Dr Fox. I feel some measure of relief.

[peebbeep]

I think when it comes to bpd and the lack of responsibility for their actions- a lot of the time you feel so very hurt by whatever caused the outburst that you almost feel like .. the victim. Like however you acted is valid because of how much pain and fear they caused you and even after things have calmed down you will still look at that event and just remember whatever it was they said that scared you, made you feel alone, misunderstood, betrayed and if the other person tries to bring it up and get an apology or explain to you why it was inappropriate, it’s going to trigger you again, if you tell someone with bpd that they embarrassed you it will hurt them really bad, triggering the fear of abandonment. because that to us means. “You are embarrassing, ” “ you ruin everything” “You’re not good enough” even though we feel guilt and remorse about everything it’s hard to express appropriately