How to Narrate Your Life Story

The difference between despair and hope often boils down to different ways of telling stories from the same set of facts. Some of the art of living means learning how to tell the story of our lives back to ourselves.


FURTHER READING

“At moments of sorrow and exhaustion, it is only too easy to look back over the years and feel that our lives have, in essence, been meaningless. We take stock of just how much has gone wrong: how many errors there have been; how many unfulfilled plans and frustrated dreams we’ve had...”


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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Mad Adam Films

[readysetgrow]

"No one ever gets anywhere important in one go. We have to be able to forgive ourselves for our first drafts." Holy cow this quote is relevant to me. My favorite video from you guys in a while. Please keep up the good work!

[AbsurdExistentialist]

This video caught me off guard and has left me speechless. In the good way.

[mightysalmonstudioslimited]

This video is beautiful. Rejection and failure are hard to accept, but when you do accept it as part of life, you see it as something beautiful. A journey of battles to reach victory, not a journey of despair.

[jazziew]

I defy anyone to find a more soothing, wise & meaning-packed 5 minutes on YouTube. You have my deep thanks.❤

[DestructorEFX]

Every video that you guys make is a confort to me. I love to know that i'm not the only one who thinks and questions the very basic human condition, the little feellings in our daily routine. Thank you guys from Brazil!

[nishitdua]

when a YouTube channel shapes your thoughts more than your parents

[thuhuyenta]

I spent nearly one and a half hour translating your video into my mother tounge- vietnamese as your video was so inspiring and meaningful. Please approve my translation, I put so much hope in it

[LilKrill]

Forget me narrating my life story, I want Morgan Freeman to do it

[femryswatson]

The only thing I feel like saying, is that the way you talk to yourself makes all the difference. And I'm usually very hard on myself, so I'm not saying it's easy. But once you start doing it, once you start accepting and loving your story, it will get easier and easier.

[alexislapuz]

Unexpectedly cried watching this. It feels so seen knowing that you have power, you ultimately create meaning in your life. No matter the challenges. Akin to an artist or author that creates a piece of art and shows to the public after many attempts behind the scenes without others knowledge. Whatever reason family, culture, religion, gender, social class, sexual orientation that is independent of your self prescribed identities that make you as an individual you, like your decisions, inner self reflections, etc. As a young person, its so easy to do what is safe, what gains you acceptance from ppl around you. But to be yourself. That honestly takes not just time. It sometimes means messing up. I just turned 27. And something I learned paradoxically is the process and adventure of maturing but most of all unlearning things actually help to be more of who and where you want to be. Some get there quick, others more time.

The results of things we did in our lives got us to where we are today. There is no perfect life. Perfect decision. That is not say take life trivially, but the narrative of one's life value is unique. Its not staight forward and its difficult to know whats the proper decision. That is your judgment and honestly thats terrifying but also amazing. Why? Because with more experience and mishaps you become a more effective and decisive and competent you. Not judging your life based off an ideal stranger's life crafted on social, not your parents, peers, or community. Life is a creative endeavor not a scientific measurement not can a robot replace you as a human being as a whole be better at who you are. Being a better you is all you can create to do, hopefully the product is fun, functional, and sharing and collabing w others is mutually inspirational thru lifes that is layered with struggles and emotions but as well as love

[michaelpesavento]

Hi, Thank you! I really needed this today.I'm sick, needing a kidney transplant and on dialysis, I'm living with my sister and her family for the moment but she's decided to kick me out. So I'm having to go to the government welfare office this morning to apply for help.
I was our Mother's caregiver for twenty five years after she was hit by a drunk driver and permanently disabled. After she passed I got sick and now when I'm the one that needs help, I'm made to feel like an unwanted burden.
People keep telling me it's her problem and not me, but it still hurts to feel so easily discarded. Trying to tell my story to myself in a positive light. Hope it works:/ Thanks.

[gottaluvselena]

I used hesitate to watch these videos because the truths within them seemed too harsh for me to take anything from. However, I feel finding this channel was one of the best things I discovered on the internet. These videos are so informative and straight forward, but still offers a profound simplicity. Your videos have impacted me just after a couple months of watching these videos! Thank you.

[sunnyhazen]

His voice makes me sleepy 😌 I listen every night to fall sleep 😴

[KILITZI]

tears I felt warmth to read the comments...thank you TSOL... I always smile when I get a notification of a new video.

[daneduncan]

As a clinical psychologist who uses Narrative Therapy I am so so so glad you did this video following the Freudian and old school psychological models often used as frameworks for life change and relationships. Please use Micheal Whites work for more of this! There is much knowledge to be used which takes into account the socio political, cultural and economic contexts in a time that the popular pop psychology (which is arguably neoliberal and in favour of getting people back to work, like CBT approaches) is everywhere on the internet! David Smail called it "magical voluntarism" i.e. The fallacy that we have the ability to magic ourselves out of the inequality, oppression, deprecation and existential angst without material resources such as access to education or social support, therefore blaming the individual for their own misery. To take it to the next level we can co-author our lives together in groups of people with shared values which can liberate, aka liberation psychology and the work of Paulo Freire & Nacho Martin-Baro. Just like collectives such as Buddhists have done for many years before their knowledge was appropriated and sold back to them. Look forward to more videos bringing these ideas to the Everyman. Thank you !!! Dane

[duncanlycan]

me narrating my life
21yo: Wow I can't wait to become an adult.
22yo: Whoa.
23yo: Ummm...
24yo: Wait.
25yo: Oh God.
26yo: Please make it stop.

[honorwayson]

I failed medchool in Berlin 2 years ago. My entire life fell apart. I had to move back to the city where my parents stay, because my jobs were bound to the condition of me being a medstudent. I am 28 now, have been struggling against suicidal impulses, lost major parts of my humorous, extroverted personality, have become isolated (I have no friends in this city), alone. I struggle everyday to try to get back into another medical school (outside germany), but there are many barriers that end up preventing it (tuition in UK and US, language barriers in other EU countries etc.). I hate my life and don't know what to do. All my life I was the straight A student. Always did my best. In medschool, while others went partying, relaxing or sleeping, I was working in one of my 3 jobs to get through the month, while trying to pass my exams and have a perfect attendance in university. In the end, a heavy depression and burn-out, ruined an important exam. I failed 2 times in a row (didn't attend the first time and failed the remaining two attempts.. always the same way... months of hard studying, just to sit in front of the exam and suddenly having no knowledge to draw upon.. as if the hours of mental torture and discipline neverhappened..). Now the guys that always copied my answers during exams or whom I explained things, who had money and a life, are wearing white coats, treat patients and tell others how hard they worked, while I went above and beyond my limits and lost everything. I want to be a doctor. There is no other profession I can see myself in. I am lost.

[raphaellm]

I think this is probably my favorite video from School of Life.

And the music helped to make the video better.

[anabonn]

Thank you Alain De Botton. Your voice is so compassionate, and your message so sincere. So happy to live on this time of humanity when we can reach wise people at the other side of the planet by just a simple click. I feel truly lucky

[karaeidsvik]

I love the style of this video. It makes me feel like I am being read to. It feels like a bedtime picture book for grown ups, where complicated problems are clearly stated and placed within a safely viewed but whole and honest construct. I appreciate these videos and the time I spend with them daily.