How changing your story can change your life | Lori Gottlieb | TED

Stories help you make sense of your life -- but when these narratives are incomplete or misleading, they can keep you stuck instead of providing clarity. In an actionable talk, psychotherapist and advice columnist Lori Gottlieb shows how to break free from the stories you've been telling yourself by becoming your own editor and rewriting your narrative from a different point of view.

[happynaturalist]

Such a quotable talk!
- We are all unreliable narrators of our own lives.
- To tell a story is inescapably to take a moral stance.
- Stories are the way we make sense of our lives.
- The way we narrate our lives shapes what they become.
- Change, even really positive change, involves a surprising amount of loss.
- What would happen if you looked at your story and wrote it from another person’s point of view?
- Life is about choosing which stories to listen to, and which ones need an edit.
- There’s nothing more important to the quality of our lives than the stories we tell ourselves about them.

What do you want your story to be? Go write your masterpiece!

[danmengma]

My parents got divorced when I was in my middle school. The letters in the talk sound so familiar that when I was little, my dad and mom would tell me totally different versions of the same story, and their words confused me for many years. When I grow up, I realized that it's not about right or wrong. It's just people can only understand the world from their own perspectives, which are usually narrow. And my solution is to honestly express yourself to others, exchange your feelings, your views, or your emotions with your partner, so you can understand each other better. It is so important and useful. Hope everyone can live a happy life instead of being trapped like my parents many years ago

[aaakashkumar]

_We talk so much in our culture about getting to know ourselves, but part of getting to know yourself is to unknow yourself – to let go of the one version of the story you've been telling yourself, so that you can live your life and not the story that you've been telling yourself about your life. And that's how we walk around those bars_

[Author_Alyssa_Taylor]

Just finished her book, "Maybe You Should Talk to Someone". It's, literally, the most 'AHA!" book I've ever read. The stories of her going through therapy and those of several clients lives are SO engrossing. I had to see who this woman is!

[johntomik]

My wife left me 3 months ago and I lost my job, home and my dog. I've never been happier finding myself. But I do miss my dog.
Good luck to everyone out there

[JohnSmith-dbqi]

This is a masterpiece of a Ted Talk. Easy to understand, short, concise and the prison bar analogy, perfect.

[hananbahy]

"The next time you're struggling with something. Remember that we're all going to die .And then pull out your editing tools and ask yourself : what do i want my story to be ? And then go write your masterpiece . " Lori Gottlieb

[JustMeJH]

This is very powerful. Editing how you perceive the world and reshaping your responses can lead to deep and powerful changes. I’ve seen it. I’ve experienced it. An excellent TED talk!

[peter]

I just finished reading her book “Maybe You Should Talk To Someone”. I absolutely loved it and it really opened my mind. Thank you so much, Lori.

[annettehansen]

I am so proud of myself for changing my life. I was into alcohol and drugs really bad and they destroyed my life and I suffered the consequences. I seen how badly I hurt others and wanted to live a better life and become a better person. I went through rehab and got a really good support system who helped me in my recovery not just from addiction but everything and therapy helps. I have the desire to understand people, have compassion, forgive them and want better for them and to bless others because of how badly I was treated. I have let go of abusive relationships because I realized I didn't deserve to be treated bad because I'm a good person I have good people in my life who treat me good. I've got resources to solve my problems, make good out of the bad things, and to live a good life and I'm so grateful.

[Mrnobody]

This is mind blowing. One of the BEST talks and such a powerful message. In one of my classes at University, our professor asked us " What would you like the people at your funeral to say about you". Quite a few people said " Oh I would like them to say he/she was a great husband / wife, friend etc etc". Then one guy stood up and said" I would like them to say "Look he is still breathing"!!

[lucylincoln]

“Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” – Abraham Lincoln

[AsifAAli]

"If the Queen had balls, she'd be a King!"
What a great line!
And, I couldn't agree more regarding the change; yes, we all want change but change of other character in our story. That's most of us!

[strawbemmy]

"if you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging."

[bizcoach]

It takes some skills to make people laugh, think, and inspire them in a short 15-minute talk!
I'm a transformation coach, I know how powerful rewriting your life script can be. When you rewrite your story your life will change, and soon you'll see a shift in the dynamics of your friendships, too. I agree with Lori, it can be scary, even if the changes are positive.

[chou_illustration]

I just finished reading her book " maybe you should talk to someone" and i want to thank you for this masterpiece, it made me laugh, cry, think and most importantly understand that happiness but also sadness are both temporary.

[reneeca]

So good! Proverbs 23:7 "For as a man thinks in his heart, so is he"

[selrahcf]

Damn. She’s just gave me a therapy session!

[mansavedbygraceeric]

The key is being truthful and honest about oneself.

[dronesandnature]

Excellent TED talk. Change your narrative. If you think you don't deserve more, you will always settle for the lesser versions of choices, things, people, jobs, etc. Such a process!