10 Warning Signs of Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation, where the gaslighter or abuser leads you to question your own reality. Many examples of gaslighting in relationships include lying to you, isolating you, or making you doubt or question yourself. The hidden psychological abuse can upend your mental health making you feel depressed, anxious, and isolated. Do you relate to these experiences? If so, you might be a victim of gaslighting.

If you feel that you may be unintentionally gaslighting someone, you can share your experiences below so we can all work together, to help one another heal.

Credits
Writer: Laura Santospirito
Script Editor: Denise Ding & Kelly Soong
VO: Amanda Silvera
Animator: Laura
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong

Citation:

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[squishyfluff]

It's even worse when the person gas lighting you has a 'good' reputation with their people, so when you try to talk to someone about them, they don't believe you

[peebs]

It makes me kinda sad realizing that I was gaslighted for so long.

[shawdeeazamian]

One of my mom's (and my most hated) phrases: "I know you better than you know yourself."

[lexcentrique]

The worst is that gaslighters can make you as guilty of "playing the victim", while they are the one playing as one.

[isaacyoder]

Gaslighters don't own up to their mistakes either. Rather than admit wrongdoing and apologise, they make up cheap justifications or simply blow you off if you take issue with something they say or do.

[aloof]

every parent should watch this video, so they can see their child isn’t the problem

[isaidwesadtoday]

It's hurts to know that you've been blaming yourself the whole time.

[amethystlake]

I find something else that gas lighters have in common is they never apologise for their wrong doings and twist the blame onto you, then you end up apologising because they convince you that you are crazy. Then afterwards, you think to yourself, why did I apologise? I did nothing wrong? And you realise you only apologise because they make you feel guilty for speaking up about being disrespected.

[samorphique]

Whenever I try to talk to my mom about how something makes me feel, I end up feeling like I have no arguments. Nothing gets solved. It's all in my mind, she says.

[Rhea]

I just want to point out something here. This is something that I've struggled with. In this video the gaslighter is portrayed to be some sort of evil person. Someone that's trying to control and manipulate you. This set of character traits are what we associate with all gaslighters.
But from personal experience, toxic people often don't even know they're toxic. They operate the way they do out of habit. This isn't to say that we excuse they're behaviour though. I wanted to point this out because throughout my life whenever I'd come across someone I think is toxic I would question that feeling because they didn't seem evil like I was told they'd be.
So if you feel like someone's toxic, don't second guess yourself. Even if they seem nice and helpless they can still be toxic for you.

[monicaarcher]

"You're just being dramatic"
"I never said that"
"You're being delusional"
"You're overreacting"
"It's just a joke"
Them acting like the victim when they're in the wrong. Only speaking negatively about you to others. Holding things against you. Acting like they know you more than you know yourself. Guilt tripping you. Etc, etc, etc. These kinds of people will really crumble your self esteem and manipulate you into thinking you're the crazy one. I wish these people knew how evil they are and what kind of harm they cause to others.... I dealt with this for far too long before realizing how awful it was. I wish everyone that is in this situation finds clarity and finds a way to get away from whoever is causing you harm like this.

[philiprsmith]

You just never expect the person you love deeply to do this to you. That's what shocks so much.

[wowidjduq]

The ten warnings signs of gas lightning:
1. You don't feel like you fit in anywhere.
2. You question and doubt yourself.
3. Your self esteem is much lower ever since you've been around them.
4. You become depressed.
5. You're constantly guilt-tripped.
6. You're frequently let down by them.
7. You're frequently lied to.
8. Your fears are used against you.
9. You're isolated from others.
10. You question EVERYTHING.

Please if any of you are victims, get help. You might be scared but it's for your own safety. Do you really want to keep on living like this? I'm sure you don't. Living like this is really not worth anything. You matter and don't deserve this. Please stay safe and get help. I love you, stay strong🙏💕

[girlwhocanbreathe]

"you used to be so chill and outgoing, now you're so different! what happened?"
-my gaslighters

[zilanlikesburger]

''U used to be so outgoing, what happend?''

why is this so relatable..

[justineannerecare]

Its sad that inspite of being a victim of gaslighting, Im scared that I might gaslighting people around me because I was told that Im gaslighting them but they're the one who's gaslighting me....

[Someone-lfsi]

My mom does this stuff to me, I can’t confront her cause she will get mad and tell me I’m dramatic.

[mofthemoth]

I once had a toxic friend who would constantly tell me that everyone knew all my secrets or just say things that would worry me a lot in general. When I would tell them that that wasn't true and confront them about it, they would just tell me that it was just a rumour they heard or that I misheard them. It lasted for months and made me doubt my own memory. It's been about a year since then and they've apologised and changed(though we don't hang out anymore because they changed schools). Even though it's been nearly a year, I still regularly doubt and question myself and memory. It has got to the point where I sometimes if I'm the first one to arrive at a class or something, I'll start doubting if I even had that class and then longer I question it the worse it gets and I even sometimes start to question what day it is. Thankfully though, as time goes on, I'm slowly getting better

[Jenny-kgjh]

They don't mean sorry if they keep on defending themselves and can't take the blame for what they did.

[adeki]

My friends told me my bf was actually manipulating, abusing and gaslighting me and I didn't really believe them. Now I'm here and agree to nearly everything and am emotionally devastated. I now know I have to leave him because I'm already heavily depressed and suicidal and he's just making it worse. Thank you