'Wives Submit to Your Husbands' w/ Dr. Carrie Gress

Matt and Dr. Gress lament the death of traditional rolls of the Marriage. They talk about why submission is necessary, and why our current paradigm of Ephesians 5 is lacking.



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[jkue-fe]

There’s honestly so much freedom in submission to your husband, and it helps turn him into the man God made him to be. It’s so countercultural and so counterintuitive but it’s so healing for the toxicity of modern marriage.

[sharptakes]

The conversation is so good at 7:00 on. It's the crux of the matter. GREAT job interviewing, Matt!

[GodsDorkiestDoll]

Biblical submission is such a beautiful thing ❤ but because of that, the enemy has done a great job of distorting what it is meant to be. That's why so many "trad" pages online are full of misogynistic men who want a woman to Lord over.

[waynenocton]

A buddy of mine, “thought” he ruled the roost, he always said, when I get home, my dinner is on the table! I finally said, you know what the truth really is? YOU come straight home after work! She’s ruling the roost! Then after it settled in a bit I let him know that both can be true, it can make both people happy, sometimes people actually love their traditional roles.

[irodjetson]

The man is the head of the family, the woman is the neck... the heart. You need both to exist and cooperate for the common good, but within an order with proper distinctions and relations, both need to be virtuous and prudent in Christ.

[steelmongoose]

Women were advised to be submissive to their husbands, and men were advised to love their wives as Christ loved His Church. Christ died for that Church. Men earn that submission with a committed imitation of Christ.

[a.drozda]

"The wife will be able to completely submit when she sees her husband sacrificing completely"
- more or less exact quote from Fr Ripperger

[RJKYEG]

Other than, "Don't move in together before getting married." The only relationship advice I feel confident in giving is this:

"Finding the right person is one thing, being the right person is another."

[Himmiefan]

A secular video explained how femininity receives and supports while masculinity is motivated by and enjoys doing, providing for, and protecting loved ones. That really helped me understand the Ephesian verses. That and how it's all about Christ's command to love one another. Some read authority and obedience into the text when it really is not there. That's reading the verses through the lenses of the power-hungry, fallen world. Christ said to love on another, and Paul is giving us an example that touches on aspects of femininity and masculinity, all under the umbrella of equality: 5:21 - submit to one another. The start of chapter 5 even lays the ground work: be like God, and then it elaborates.

[jolins.]

I think even saying that there is an element of mutual submission muddies the waters. What men do for their wives is different than what women do for their husbands.

[thatsfunny]

I don't have a problem with submitting to my husband if I get married. But then again I don't plan to marry an idiot or a bad man.

[americanhealthcaresurvivor]

American women turn into defense lawyers when reading this passage. How interesting that they understand how to submit to their boss at work perfectly, but magically "can't understand" the concept in regards to their husbands.

[Ezekiel-]

The submission answer or riddle is clear when we understand Jesus and what it means to die "for the church". Men are to put their sins to death on the cross with Christ (and even pay the price to put their bride's sins to death as Jesus did), so sin does not enter into the sacred marriage union through him or remain there because of the bride or the husband. Such death for the wife does NOT mean relinquishing every aspect of who the man is (that makes up his personality and preferences) that are not sinful. We yield to and worship Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, not our wife (or anyone else)!

In Christ,
Andrew

[rschiwal]

I've been following exorcists. Much of what they uncover extends from the effects of Original Sin. I've never been a fundamentalist, but I believe the story of Adam and Eve is far more than just a story.
The sin of Adam, they say, is a man's desire for his wife. Not selfless love, but the constant temptation to derive pleasure from her and to avoid responsibility.
The sin of Eve is a woman's desire to manipulate, control and dominate her husband. Both sins come from fear of losing the other. The writings of St Paul, regarding wives to be submissive to their husbands and husbands to care for their wives as if they were their own flesh challenge both these sins.

[mikedavid]

Submission means "being under the mission", yes that's right. But the "mission" of a husband is to be CHRIST to His wife, and Christ did far more than merely take up the cross for the church. The very next thing it mentions is washing... that means to cleanse, instruct, guide and correct. Christ didn't merely take up the cross for his church. He leads, corrects, disciplines, instructs, chastises, reprimands, demands obedience and calls for repentance. Those are all part of "cross bearing" on the part of Christ or the husband.

[moniquebarrow]

I think that if a man loves a woman and a woman loves a man and there is that trust present then a relationship will naturally fall into a wife submitting to her husband.

However, it's difficult for a woman to comprehend submission when they are single or not in love. There's also the lack of trust in general of men (too often presented in negative light and who are also socialized not to be leaders) which leads to the revolt against submission.

[nealwright]

Eph 5:22 (NKJV) "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. "

Then, backup and read the verse immediately before this (5:21), which says "...submitting to one another in the fear of God." Marriage is about mutual submission.

[mklarson]

Hey Matt! Thank you for this. I really appreciate you guys.

I would like to say a few things on this topic. None against what you are saying, just some thoughts I have on the matter as it seems to be a frequent topic for discussion on a number of different podcasts.

I'm a life long Roman Catholic who greatly loves her faith. I want to be not only obedient to God, but also know and love him. It is why I've spent the last 15 years studying the Catholic faith. I'm nearly 31 now.

Over the last 15 years, I've watched many Catholic podcasts; you, Father Mike Schmidt, Micheal Lofton, Bishop Barron, Mother Angelica, Bishop Fulton Sheen, Scott Hahn, Jimmy Atkin, Trent Horn, the list goes on.

I've read some of the classic works by the saints, as well as a number of books on marriage, love, and sex written from the Catholic perspective. Theology of the Body being one of them. I'm currently working on the Bible in a Year, and will be starting Catechism in a Year soon.

I'm telling you all this because I want you to know I have some knowledge of the Catholic faith, and I'm not just spouting a personal opinion. That is not to say I know everything, because I most certainly do not. I'm always looking to understand and learn more about our faith.

Now, beyond what you guys discussed in this video, I can't find an official church teaching or biblical passage that specifically lays out the EXACT roles of men and women in the context of marriage. Many of the people mentioned above have done similar videos, some explain things a little different, but it's always in the same vein. Others have discussed the various beliefs different church fathers have held about the roles of men and women.

It's because of all this that I believe the way a couple decides to manage their household is between them and God. It's one of the many freedoms we have been given as His creations.

I agree that many women have been manipulated into believing that submitting to their husband is some kind of slavery, or that somehow it lowers them to the same status as a child. They're wrong, and don't know or understand the truths the church has to offer.

That being said, too many men and women do not have a clear understanding of what submission means, especially the biblical definition of submission, so they try to apply their own logic to the situation and call it either a biblical or church teaching.
Or they have read some of the beliefs the church fathers have held on this topic, and take them as church teaching vs. personal opinion.

The church fathers were saints and incredibly wise, but the church doesn't teach us that every word that ever left their mouths was a teaching or line of thought that should be repeated as if it is a teaching.

I believe this happens because of three things:

1) Human brokenness. We are always seeking some form of control over our own lives or the lives of others.

2) Spiritual immaturity. Many people can't understand that God is not asking us all to do the exact same thing. Not every marriage should be run the exact same way.

3) They don't have a clear understanding of their faith. Too many people will just believe whatever another person tells them without consulting the church first.

As an example, I have personally known many Roman Catholics who cannot understand why the Pope allows Eastern Catholics to worship the way they do. They think that all Catholics need to be practicing the Catholic faith the exact same way for it to be valid. If it looks different then what they are used to, it can't be right.

I think this applies here because I've noticed a lot of people, especially those who identify as Protestant or traditional Catholic, talk about submission and a man and a woman's place as though there is some kind of official doctrine on the matter beyond the stuff you and Dr. Gress were discussing. I love the traditions and teachings of the church, but I want the traditions and teachings the church actually upholds and teaches, and not just a personal opinion someone confused as a church teaching.

Anyway, that's all. Sorry that was so long.

[shaneashby]

Women refuse to be submissive to a husband who loves her and will die for her but will be submissive to a boss that will fire her in a heartbeat.

[miguelzamores]

husband needs to be the protector and provider of their wives. Also, they need to help her and be their companion for everything. Wives need to follow their husbands and obey them by serving them. Both need to serve each other.