Why I Chose to be a Single Mother by Choice

Howdy Friends 🤍 This video is long overdue! In this video, I am sharing why I chose to be a single mother (SMBC). While flying solo into parenthood alone was not how envisioned becoming a mom, its my reality! Many people (men and women) are becoming single parents more than ever. Here it is, I finally share my story on WHY I made the decision of becoming a Single Mother by Choice.

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CHOOSING A SPERM DONOR|MY IVF JOURNEY

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This video is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal for financial/health advice. Please consult an attorney or certified health physician who will put your interests before theirs.

[JessicaBeee]

*I'm a S.M. by choice as well. The dating scene for black women is SO HARD. I'm 41 & my L.O. is 7yrs old. Marriage, relationships & lifetime partnership wasn't happening so I adopted my baby girl when she was 1 1/2. NO REGRETS ‼️🥰 Time waits for no one and my baby is the best thing that's happened to my life*

[aa.s]

18 weeks single mom by choice IVF and donor sperm! And I am comfortable and happy!! Can’t wait to meet my miracle baby!! My IVF process has been amazing! 1 cycle, no morning sickness… Create your own happiness!! ❤

[ickiedeer-lamb]

I wish I had seen videos like this 20 years ago. I'm 60 and for me it's too late and I've wanted to be a mom since childhood. All the best lady.

[jovonnareynolds]

Hi I'm a single mother by choice also. I have a 20month old daughter and currently 34wks pregnant with baby girl #2 via sperm donor. Best decision ever. I have 5wks left and then I'll have 2 daughters 21months apart. will be following you

[MMS]

41 trying to figure this out & crying...yall don't wait

[brynnejewell]

I'm 32 and have known I wanted to be a mom my whole life. I have tried dating without success and the older I get the more pressure I feel there is going to be on the relationship because I'm a woman and my window for child bearing is getting smaller. I am doing more and more research on home IUI. Thank you for sharing. I found your story encouraging.

[sweetlachok]

People who write that having such a child is selfishness and women think only about themselves. Do you think that all children were born on this earth because of what their parents thought of them? More often than not, people just wanted sex, not children. Mom gave birth to me after 40, although my father did not want to and thought that it was too late and they broke up. But she did it because she really wanted me. It was her choice, and I am grateful to her for having this life! And I grew up with this feeling that I was very much expected and I am very welcome in this world. If the child has at least one person who was waiting for him, then this is already enough. I want to support all women who give birth to children in this world. You give a person life! It is most important. Do not listen to anyone who criticizes! Your love is enough!

[triggered]

Kudos to her. A few things to keep in mind…

Just bc you have a spouse when you have a child, does not mean you will have one for the duration of their childhood. The majority of single mothers aren’t even those who had children out of wedlock, they’re divorced mothers, lol.

On top of that, this child was actually planned and wanted by someone who is established and capable of providing. If you are a woman who is this well off (i.e., highly educated, white collar professional with financial and residential stability, etc.), you are already in a situation where you can provide much more than what the average man can to a two-parent household.

So when you weigh what her child would be getting under these specific circumstances vs what the child would be getting had this she waited, this is more than likely the superior circumstance anyway. I feel like as long as a woman has the resources and lifestyle to provide, then it’s fine.

[aliyaplummer]

I just got off the phone with my OBGYN and she referred me to a fertility clinic to begin this journey (:
I can’t wait!

[Krismunguia]

Very inspirational. I’m 25 and no dating experience whatsoever. I already told myself that if I don’t have a partner by 30, I’ll just create a child by myself. I just want to wait for a few more years to advance in my career. The reasons you chose to be a SMBC are the EXACT same reasons for me.

[alfsmom]

"Not when I am going to become a mom, but *how* am I going to become a mom." Wow, hearing that makes me feel so much less anxious. It's not totally out of my control....

[HeartAeneas]

Thank you so much for sharing. I am also preparing and took the decision of doing it. I want to be a single mom and the dating pool has always been trash and low level for me. I know my worth.

[sleazepuff]

I really appreciate this. I'm still in my early 30s in a HCOL area, and am incredibly put off by dating. I've met a lot of great people, but romantic relationships bring just as much baggage as they bring joy. At least kids are fun and an automatic part of your family.

Good luck and thanks for the inspo!

[mandiharris]

I have been binging your channel because you make me feel so understood and welcome into this community! Your honesty, openness, encouragement, and genuine warmth is so refreshing. I just turned 25, and have my first appointment with a fertility doctor next week, in the hopes of starting to try to conceive in January 2023. I had an engagement with a childhood friend end about two years ago, and have tried to date since, but have come to the conclusion that THAT kind of love just isn't meant to happen for me right now, and that my real "great love" is meant to be my child. I am 100% at peace with that, and beyond ready to give that child all I have to give, but there definitely was a grieving process of letting go of the "ideal" that you & I both shared prior to going this route of "first comes love, marriage, then a baby." At the end of the day, no matter the backstory, I think we all come to the decision to stop waiting on someone who might or might not come into the picture, and who may or may not even be healthy to have in the picture.

All of your points in this video are so valid and important, as always! Thank you for providing a safe space for everyone in this community. <3

[StarGazingMouse]

Im 25 and i decided to become SMBC. my big reason is i was a child of a terrible divorce and custody battle. I don't wanna do that to my child. I feel like im dodging all that by doing it by myself. I know i don wanna do that to my child like my parents did. If someone wants to come into my life after i have my kid thats fine, but they have to know they can't adopt my kid till my kid is old enough to decide that for themselves

[keyonarivers]

Honestly I’ll be 25 in a few months and have been thinking about having a child by myself, I do not believe it’s selfish I feel it is selfish to not hear anyone‘a feelings out if you are in a relationship and you want kids the more you wait the harder it is going to be for you as a woman I feel that if SHE was ready for a child then she was ready everybody in these comments are annoying people in America is corny and may keep their comments and opinions to yourself. If anyone is watching if you want to be a SMBC by all means take matters into your own hands and make sure your finances are together and please don’t listen to negative people :)

[tracey]

I LOVE how you say we live in a world where things do not always go as planned, eventhough my story is a little different than yours, we have similar journeys I always thought when it was time it would just happen, but it has not happened yet. My husband and I got together at 30 I’m now 38 and refuse to give up… I like how YOU decided to make it happen because you were ready and put yourself first… I’m so proud of you… You cannot always assume but people always do…I’m inspired ❤❤

[coursecorrection]

I’m a SMBC through adoption. Research is key. Do you have resources: financial, emotional and logistics. Can you pay for daycare, a babysitter when child is out of school because they’re sick, afterschool care for school aged kids, winter and summer camps. Do you travel for work and need someone to stay overnight? Do you have emotional support and a plan b if they disappear? I decided I could do it. My child is joyous. We talk about different families all the time. I’m happy and not stressed. If it works for you and your family, all are happy and well cared for, no one else should pipe in

[hrcentral]

I am planning on doing this when I turn 35 whether I find a partner by then or not. So just going to hustle pay off my house and get a good savings account going between now and then. I want to only have to work part time the first few years which is why I am putting it off until then for financial stability during that time.

[San]

This is such a random comment but I’ve been contemplating on becoming a single mom by choice and if it’s possible to be a single mom by choice and turns out that it is, I came to the conclusion that I prefer not to get myself into a relationship ever again because of my past relationships, and I’ve always to this day wanted a family to myself it seem selfish but at least I’m able to watch other moms reasons to it and to know that it’s not just me either, I hope this is understandable and sorry it’s damn near a paragraph