Why Are Emotional Affairs So Hard To Get Over?

Affairs are not just sexual. They can also happen in other forms and affect other aspects of a relationship. In this video, I'll share with you why emotional affairs are so hard to get over.

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Watch and Enjoy!
Brannon Patrick

Key Moments in this Episode
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00:00 Intro & Summary
00:39 Effects of an Affair
01:49 Understand This
02:34 Intimacy
03:12 Common Ways
04:36 Healing Process
05:09 Get Out
06:04 Understand This
07:19 The Most Difficult
07:59 Check This Out

What To Watch Next:
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How To Gain Trust Back In A Relationship

Other Resources
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Transform Your Relationship!

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Video by Nate Woodbury

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[madameserenity]

What hurts the most is when you really trusted that person and they broke that trust.

[heisenberg]

It hurts when someone shattered your trust and just act like nothing happened and just continuously treating you badly after you gave them a lot of chances.

[gregorycarlson]

I’m a professional who has helped many people navigate these rough waters over the years. Your points are right on the money. The aspect of what you mentioned that I see most often is flirting. People who flirt minimize it as something that’s “natural”; something that everyone does. No, there is nothing natural about it if either you and/or the other person is married or in an otherwise committed relationship. Having “crushes “ or infatuations for a person other than your partner is not “normal” and is a serious red flag that something is radically wrong in your marriage. I like this analogy. A person may drive by a bank but never even consider robbing that bank. Likewise, when a person is in a right relationship with their partner, the very idea of being infatuated with someone else is unthinkable. And many people justify these infatuations by minimizing the little innuendos that occur. It can be as simple as looking forward to being around that person. I’m thinking that some reading this right now are skating on thin ice. Put an end to it before it gets out of hand. A word to the

[talltimbot]

Attraction has no boundries when voids are being filled

[kimswiger]

I feel like my heart is shattered. I trusted my husband and when I found out he was talking to this girl (which he dated before we got together) for hours everyday on the phone and deleted messages. I feel stupid for not knowing and betrayed so bad

[jak]

I really appreciate the validation here, thank you. Emotional affairs are significant and can devastate a marriage and family. The betrayal and broken trust are perhaps the most hurtful things, but also discovering your spouse can have a whole area of their life that is hidden from you with absolutely nothing communicated. I also think emotional affairs are a hairs breath from becoming physical. The physical aspect is often already being entertained as an idea in the mind. Without a change in behaviour, total transparency, honest communication and whatever it takes to rebuild trust, I think there is little hope for the relationship surviving.

[graciarosario]

Yes it helped me understand more that I am not to be blamed for his emotional infidelity, that it is his choice to begin with.. He is dismissing it like”it was just flirting, nothing happened, i didn’t even touch her, we didn’t even had sex!!!” But I really felt so hurt deep, deep in my heart😭😭😭thank you so much for this video..GOD bless you🙏🙏🙏

[melanielucero]

I got my heart shattered into pieces, my Husband had emotional affair with a co worker, and I knew exactly who she was and when it started all the signs were there. I'd never felt that kind of pain ever and I wasn't sure how or if I was going to get through it. I started therapy for myself, and then My Husband agreed to go to couples therapy, and eventually he did get some help for himself. We are learning so much about ourselves and each other. We have along way to go buy it is an everyday process. We are still together and learning to love each other again. Thank you for your suggestions very encouraging.

[ThePossumone]

It’s hard because there was no physical affair snd friends say to “get over it” and you’re exaggerating how you feel etc and you feel hurt
Then months go by - you think it’s gone - then it comes back

[maryjimenez]

My husband had a emotional affair. It went on for two years before I became aware of it. He doesn't understand that this hurts even though there was no sex. But he fell in love with her. Now he says it's over and wants me to be ok with that.i can't live with him anymore and forget about it overnight. If this was reversed he wouldn't forgive or forget. He blames me for this choice he made. I filed for a divorce. Am I right for going this route?

[philsar]

Never in a million years would have thought my wife would emotionally cheat on me . I was her biggest fan encouraging her to do something for herself cuz we had 3 kids and she wasn’t feeling sexy so she started doing boxing and started crushing on the owner of the place and they were hangin out and flirting and god knows what else but I was totally blindsided

[brightpage]

It seems like emotional affairs hold a promise of a deeper connection, even than your partner or spouse seems to offer at that point in your life, and trying to get over them before that promise is realized to it’s full potential (sex) or whatever, then it will always feel like an unmet need or desire. A thread that was opened but never explored, or got cutoff too abruptly to feel comfortable with.

[inwonderland]

Thank you for this video I’ve felt both stupid and crazy. He broke my trust. I would never do that to him. I love him. Just the things that he said in those texts to her hurts. He haven’t spoken to her 2 months before I found out but I’m in so much pain. He told her he wanted to leave me. He thought I was talking to someone else so he started talking to other women. He said he realized he was wrong. It’s too late tho. My trust is broken

[lak]

The worst is, people who engage in emotional affairs may be so out of touch with their subconscious and motives that they can't understand why it's wrong and how it could hurt anyone.

Yet it DOES hurt 2 parties: the partner and the other person who may have been unwittingly drawn into the emotional affair. It's actual, real damage. And instead of invalidating it, the perpetrator should take a good, hard look at themselves and understand how they genuinely hurt others.

[hbrookes]

My wife of 18 years had an emotional affair with an ex lover for many years! She claims I abandoned her and she needed appreciation from someone. This man dumped her after 10 months for his ex wife, and this is who you needed to feel better? I am now stuck with the decision to stay and relive their praising emails in my head or move on and abandon who I thought was the love of my life! 4 months has passed and it still feels like the day I read their emails!

[Liz-efdv]

My partner was having an emotional affair with someone and i had to find out myself because I had a weird feeling. I had to go through his messages which I never do. I saw he was hiding a person of the opposite sex from me. He told me he was scared to tell me because he noticed it started to get to point were he felt like he was betraying me but couldn’t cut her off. He said they had a lot of things in common and he would talk about me a lot in good ways but it later got to the point where he started to tell her about our problems and she did the same as well. Keep in mind she also has a partner as well. They used to workout together and eat after and I didn’t know. It was going on for 2-3 months. I feel so hurt and betrayed. He is trying to work our relationship and ask for forgiveness but i just cant believe him. I don’t know what to do but just cry.

[Mssister]

The worst part of it all for me is the lies….This dude made me feel so bad for his past and feelings regarding him being lied to by others… yet he lied to me…. He literally lied to my face! I even suspected something and he promised he wouldn’t do that a day later he literally does it! Now he has the nerve to act like he is going to be like he was in the beginning…So maybe he was doing this from the beginning! He had emotionally abused me the whole time just to do this!

[miamistrawberry]

My trust absolutely feels shattered. My partner abandoned me during a mental health crisis and was with another woman. I feel like I can never trust anyone. I cant trust family, friends, I feel like everyone is out to get me or hurt me now. I feel like I should suffer all my problems alone because Ill avoid being hurt again and should be completely independent. I feel like I will never recover from this some days. Some days I also wish I could do the same and make my partner understand the exact pain that I felt. Ive forgiven, but my trust has not returned. Its been months. I think about it every single day. I want a day where I just dont think about it. I hate the pain. I set boundaries afterwards and made sure to protect myself. I made it obvious if this continued or happened again Id walk away. No forgiveness, no more chances. But I am still dealing with the betrayal trauma for sure.

[carljohnson]

Emotional affairs are WAY WORSE than anything physical.

Not “sometimes” like you say here.

ALWAYS

[Unit]

Please now do a video from perspective of the emotional affair partner. The 'other woman' and what she goes through while being played by the man who uses her as an emotional crutch.