My Experience of Anti-depressants (SSRI)

I have suffered periods of intense and persistent depression in my life, I've never talked much about it and never in public before as I've never wanted to identify as a depressive or be seen as mentally ill. Now though, I've made a video all about it!

This is a video I've been thinking about making for many years - I guess it finally felt like the right time. Despite how it may look, this is not a confessional, not a cry for help or anything like that, I am well removed from the events I talk about.
Instead, I have made this video with the aim to help others that might in a similar place to where I once was, or know someone that is. I also wanted to share what it's like to be on these powerful drugs, because I don't think doctors always prepare people very well for what's going to happen to them.

These were the anti-depressants I was prescribed:
Fluoxetine, brand name Prozac
Paroxetine, brand names Paxil and Seroxat
Venlafaxine, brand name Effexor
Sertraline, brand name Zoloft

If you want to join those supporting my channel (starting at £1!) you can check out my Patreon page here:

Patrons get lots of exclusive videos and updates on myself and my projects. Thanks to the support of Patrons I am able to make videos almost full-time, but without needing any corporate sponsors.

All Paypal donations are now going straight to Project Awesome and will be credited on those episodes. Many many thanks to all those that have supported me and the channel but please only send money if you have it to spare!

[smays]

Thank you. That took courage but you might have saved a life. Or improved one. So glad you are with us.

[dadawoodslife]

My Dr sent me to a counsellor once. After an hour the bloke said ( as I remember it) "you're not depressed, you're just living a shit life." That insight saved me from antidepressants and is exactly what you talked about: appropriate emotional response to circumstance.

[stephaniecollier]

I feel that depression is a symptom related to having a good heart, an overly caring nature, a propensity for putting other’s needs ahead of your own and a generally kind and caring nature. A higher than average intelligence and intellectual mind can also be a risk factor too. I think you’re going to be just fine and if you have a set back in the future, we’ll you have a lot of experience to draw on. You will also be an invaluable source of help to others who may find themselves on a similar journey

Thanks again, best wishes and kind regards

Have a good week 👍🏻

[kgoldsmith]

I am a professional psychotherapist of some 20yrs experience and I agree with everything you’ve expressed here. Not only have you been courageous enough to share your journey publicly, but have managed to deliver it with great eloquence and insight. As you say, one of the most important realisations we can have in life is that there is always hope. I’m so pleased you’ve survived, you are worthy of every second of your existence - well done you on being you 🔆

[theswime]

I baulked at the idea of investing 38 minutes in this. Turns out it's the most important 38 minutes I've ever watched on YT. Thank you so much for explaining your experiences so frankly and lucidly. This should be a mandatory watch for trainee doctors and blokes. Cheers.

[kawonnowak]

It is a very sad fact that very few doctors have the time or the inclination to ask "what is or has been happening in your life" when a patient sits themselves down in front of them. If they did, they would uncover the potential to learn enormously more about that patient and their state of health than any amount of asking where it hurts. Thank you Max for taking the time and summoning up the courage to share your experiences.

[superiorbeing]

There's a consistency here, hammering iron or talking about depression, when this guy tells a story I'm engrossed. World is much better place with Mr Ironthumper in it for sure.

[paulbuzzz]

I listened to your story and learned a great deal. I’m 60 and have led an “interesting“ life of chaos and variety. I’ve been treated for most of my adult life for clinical depression. I’m currently on venlafaxine and have been for at least 10 years. I’m having the devil of a job persuading my gp that I would like to come off them to see if I’ve any emotions left! I have been more or less blank for years. I think a lot of people will receive a lift from hearing your story. All strength to you a great success with your fantastic YouTube contributions

[Patmac]

I have been on antidepressants for about 10 years. They are most certainly not a quick fix, and to be entirely honest I don't think they are a fix at all. They alleviate symptoms but never cure the root cause of the issue in the first instance. That requires a lot of work on a personal level.. Having seen the entire video, I can 100% identify with your experience "getting off" venlafaxine. It's absolute hell. I have tried several times so am now on a low dose as well as counselling and that works ok for me.

[lpil]

I wanted to thank you for these honest and open videos. I had a tough couple years a bit back and there were several points when I found your videos useful or reassuring. Your running video was especially appreciated as it inspired me to get back into shape and gave me a project outside and in the fresh air. Did me a power of good.
I know this video will help lots of your other viewers too. Cheers Max!

[andrewparfoot]

Max, I absolutely applaud you for your blatant honesty. Life isn't an easy ride. Men suffer all sorts of horrendous issues. Medical/personal etc. Have been on antidepressants personally and lived through the side effects. Anyway extremely envious of your abilities and lifestyle. Keep up the progress matey. Yours Andy

[tomasviane]

I've been struggling with depression for most of my life, but never took any medication for it. What helped me over it was buying a small old house that gave me the mental rest I needed (from the rat-race) and gave me also the opportunity to have something to do and wrap my mind around (finding the cheapest way to fix things). Once I had this, most other things started to fall in its place.
It's all about finding a purpose and connection and have a (small) group of friends that you can rely on.

[snap-happy]

Your honesty is refreshing. The caring comments on this post make me hopeful you will never again feel you have no friends. You really are a special person.

[hoppy]

Ive been in a similar place, without going into detail and Prozac made me feel worse. Im still trying to get out of the hole im in and do feel like im getting somewhere. The best thing I did was to talk to friends and tell them EVERYTHING. It really helped. It takes balls to open up because at first you think it will be seen as a sign of weakness, but its the opposite. You are a shining example to many that you/we can beat this and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You should be immensely proud of where you are now having looked back over those years of darkness and doubt. You now have friends from all corners of the globe. I applaud you Sir Maximus

[JG-lsgh]

I have taken two type of antidepressants in my life but I didn't like the effects, the robbed me of me, made me feel empty. Grow yourself some magic mushrooms and microdose. It's the best I've ever felt. I suffer from c-ptsd and depression for the past 25yrs and recently tried microdosing and I've never felt better. I wish you well brother, your not on your own, don't worry! Much love man!

[sbmphoenix]

Hi Max, I normally skip over content like this.... in fact I skipped over this one when you posted I find it either cuts to close to home, making me uncomfortable, or it's usually someone who talks about what I perceived to be rubbish.
But wow, this video struck a cord in so many good ways. You gave your experience on your own situation and clearly that you feel everyone’s is that's exactly how I see mental health issues should be handled... individually and uniquely. It's the main reason I never dealt still haven't issues correctly.
Thank you for your fantastic work.

[richardhasler]

Ah thanks Max, I have also dealt with depression and totally agree with your point that it never goes away but hides somewhere. Recognising if/when you start spiraling back into depression is important so that you can warn others around you, try to change things that might trigger depression and most importantly, I found just being kind to myself and saying it was okay to fall back into depression, rather than fighting and punishing myself for not being 'strong enough' to resist it. I also found one of the very best ways to manage depression was through regular exercise. It won't stop it but it can moderate things and give you some perspective.

[spinny]

Thanks Max.
For decades now I have turned to alcohol and substances to self medicate. Which is completely unhelpful obviously; but I always refused to go on anti depressants. Over the last four years the booze has really got on top. Except I am now 6 days in sober but with the use of psilocybin mushrooms that I am picking myself. Taking small amounts every day; not enough to trip on. It is already helping a great deal. I have used psychedelics in the past therapeutically and they did work up to a point. It was my fault to slip back into old ways not the mushrooms. I am determined this time to make it work. There is significant and growing evidence for the efficacy of psilocybin used in treatment for depression, addiction and other mental disorders.
Stay well!!!

[markthecraneman]

Thank you for an insight into the world of antidepressants.... it seems men are generally not good at discussing mental health problems but hopefully you have ignited a spark with your frank discussion that will encourage that someone who needs help to reach out for it.
I am so glad you are in a good place right now Max.

[GrandadBaz]

That's one hell of a powerful story Max! My sister suffers with depression at times and has done for over 30 years I think brought on through a bully of a husband treating her badly.
My youngest daughter is now a Counseller and must be pretty good judging by the number of people asking to be referred to her,
Thanks for sharing and having the courage to open up this part of your life to strangers.
Keep on smiling mate.