It's ok to tell your kids to say sorry #shorts

Originally posted: 8/22/2022
Life’s gonna be tough if you only apologize when you feel it. 🤷‍♀️

Transcription:

I believe in making little kids say they're sorry. Some people are like you shouldn't force kids to apologize, but why? I'm no parenting expert, but that's okay, because neither are you, probably, unless you have a doctorate. Lots of us have had a few kids. Doesn't make us experts. This is just my opinion. Saying you're sorry is not about being sorry. It's about acting.

If you want to be overly negative, it's a lie, but more reasonably it's social grace, which is an important thing to have. You say, thank you in situations where you don't really mean it. It's the exact same thing with apologizing. There are times when an apology is the most appropriate response, regardless of your feelings.

We all got to get along in society, and that involves a certain dance, playing by the script. Playing by the script? I don't think that's a phrase. Following the script. Playing by the rules. And apologizing is part of that. Come along for more unfounded parenting opinions.

#parenting #sayyouresorry #sorry #apologize #parentsoftiktok #notanexpert

[seashoree]

"Apologizing does not always mean you're wrong and the other person is right. It just means you value your relationship more than your ego"

[AmbiCahira]

It teaches kids how to make up after a disagreement and quite honestly the foundation towards better chances of a more successful marriage later. Apologizing for hurting someones feeling or acting wrong is such keystone in marriage too.

[glowfishin]

It's the first step in teaching empathy and remorse. Sometimes you have to have the words first in order to experience or process the emotion. We teach little kids the words and eventually they really do feel sorry when they wrong someone.

[WomanNextDoor]

It's a testament to the state of society when having to endorse teaching your children to apologise is a thing.

[Sixica]

Helping a child to understand the value of apologizing... 👍🏻 Helping them to take accountability for their actions, make reparations, prevent further conflict, etc... 👍🏻

Gold standard: When you see that you've made a mistake in something, apologize to them, or let them see you apologize to someone else. That teaches far more powerfully than anything they're 'made to do.' And it shows them HOW to do it... and that doing so is not a weakness, but a strength.

[Waterpassion]

I believe making a child say they're sorry it's at least a first step in teaching them that there's something wrong going on. They may not mean it at first, but after awhile, most kids, in my opinion, would start associating their actions with a good or bad outcome. Later they'll learn what it means to do the right thing and their apologies become more sincere. You have to do more than make them apologize though. Sit them down and talk to them about why you got them to apologize to whomever it was. What they did wrong, how they can do better next time, treat others how you want to be treated, etc. Saying you're sorry as a child is a stepping stone or a learning curve if you make it one. It's not a helpful tool if you don't take the next step with the situation.

[Pocket_Dragon.]

Kids need to be taught that its ok to be wrong. Admiting when we're wrong is about being a mature adult. Simple

[charlieerb]

I think the same, the words: Thanks, thank you, sorry and please, does not mean that you feel it, but that can make your day a little bit easier

[arjshane]

Acknowledging the hurt. = not ignoring or gaslighting. Healthy to apologise

[bbeeez]

Social grace is an important thing to have 💯

[davidtrindle]

Apologizing is part of life. If you refuse you won’t be happy.

[Msp]

Teaching kids empathy is much better than just forcing them to be insincere because they don’t know or care why what they did/said was wrong or hurtful, an apology that isn’t genuine means nothing and if someone doesn’t want to apologize they shouldn’t it just shows what kind of person they are and at least they aren’t going around pretending to have remorse and empathy when they don’t

[lionmuesli]

This video summarises my frustration about interacting with neurotypicals perfectly. (Having to say sorry or thank you despite not meaning it)

[chrisc]

A kid who realized they hurt someone and who feels bad about that will want to say they're sorry.
A kid who is forced to apologize in front of an adult for intentionally hurting someone they want to bully juuuust may come back loaded for bear, when the adults aren't looking.
So, sometimes there's got to be something other than Saying Sorry, to protect victims from becoming an even more tempting target.

[YOOTOOBjase]

Hi! Actual parenting expert here. First off, no I'm not perfect, and fail plenty as a parent.
Secondly, stats show forcing a child to say sorry is unhelpful. However, regularly prompting prosocial behaviour is SUPER effective; ie "if you say sorry, it can help them feel better"

[b-thebridge]

You could explain to the child how their actions hurt the other child so they learn to think of others and how they have power to lift up or tear down. Most children will want to apologize to others when they understand that they hurt others. Or they will explain their justification for bad behavior then you have the opportunity to investigate the situation as best you can and work out the solution.

[alemirdikson]

I think it's important to not only teach kids to apologise, but to think and understand what it is they are apologising for. A simple "I'm sorry" to get out of trouble ain't gonna cut it. You NEED to do better next time, so you NEED to understand why you're apologising now.

[SwervingLemon]

It's more important that they understand sorrow and empathy. Your take us that you need to train little sociopaths to "pass".

[loganfields]

Several rants on Seinfeld about "society" hit this point really well

[zoebedford]

100% we teach our son "say sorry even IF it was an accident" - because even if it is an accident you feel regret. so say sorry