4 Killer Magic Power Phrases For Work--And 4 to Avoid--Say This Not That--the Original Book

In this professional communication training video about 4 killer magic power phrases for work (and 4 to avoid), communication coach Dan O'Connor discusses danger phrases that damage your message and your image, and power phrases that enhance both.

"I don't appreciate. . . ." is neither direct, nor directive. Instead of stating what we don’t want, savvy communicators state what we do want. The next time you’re about to say, “I don’t appreciate . . . ,” instead, give clear instructions. For example: "I don't appreciate it when swear in front of me." Instead try , "Please omit profanity when we talk. Profanity distracts me from your message, and I want to hear what you're saying." Or compare: "I don't appreciate it when you leave your dirty dishes in the sink, Jean Marie" with "Jean Marie, please do your dishes as you use them, so we can keep the kitchen looking clean and fresh."

Danger Phrase: "Whatever. . . ." Just eliminate that word entirely--as a response to something you are dismissing. It will never evoke a positive reaction, and it signals that we have run out of responses--or words--and that never happens to a savvy communicator. Never. If you have something to say, say it in a clear, direct manner. If you have nothing to add, or don't want to discuss things further, it is far better to say absolutely nothing than to say "whatever."

Danger Phrase: "Good job." Power Phrase: "You made a real contribution. . . ." If you are taking note of someone's good work or good effort, be specific. "Good job" is not offensive, of course, and it's better than not recognizing the person at all. But if you want to truly reinforce and motivate someone, tell that person exactly what you are praising. Compare "Good Job, James" with "James, you made a real contribution to the team by bringing that sale home. I'm proud of you, and you should be proud of yourself!" James will be far more motivated if you use just a few words to show him you noticed and appreciated what he did.

Danger Phrase: "I lied." Power Phrase: "I misspoke." By the way--the same thing applies if you are holding someone else accountable--don't start out with "You lied to me" or you'll never know the truth. However, if you begin with "I think you just misspoke," the person will not be so defensive, and just may reveal the truth to you. An excellent answer to "BUT YOU SAID" (when you have not stated the facts correctly) is "I misspoke." It happens.

-Getting unstuck and moving ahead in your career
-How to gain the respect and acknowledgement you know you deserve
-Communication skills for the telephone
-How to deal with difficult people at work--notably bullies, gossips, and people who make inappropriate comments
-How to be seen as the competent professional you know yourself to be
-How to approach your job with confidence and earn the respect of coworkers
-Job interview skills
-How to deliver bad news to a customer
-Communication Skills for Leaders
And many many more

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[tklmquinn]

Dan, I love your videos. I’ve tried several of your techniques and they helped me through challenging conversations with difficult people. Thank you 🙏🏼

[AllanGildea]

Cheers Dan - I appreciate your expertise and positive influence. Best wishes!

[michaelaturner]

Thank you Dan. You have made a real contribution to me in your videos. This one taught me that feedforward is better than feedback. 🎆

[jakethewoz]

You are a fantastic teacher. Thank you so much.

[gracer]

I actually said the same thing when I called a customer service representative who was making fun of me by macking my accent. I lower my voice but at the same time told him Please, do not talk to me that way, talk to me with respect, please. He changed his tone and was very helpful, patience and calm after that. It was very surprising to hear the difference.

[patty-bettychronaki]

Thank you Dan. I value your work and advice. Please continue your effort to assist people in communication.

[eileen]

Thank you so much for making these videos they’re the best I’ve found all over YouTube.

[SarahRejsa-oibq]

It occurred to me that when you simply state, "I misspoke, " it makes you human. It's no big deal. But when you say, "just kidding, " or "I lied, " it makes you sound unsure of your self and draws attention to the mistake instead of just moving on with the correct information that you were meaning to convey.

[myozbubble]

When I hear 'whatever', I feel that is being dismissive. That's what I'm being when I say it. Not good.

[ckala]

I love the clear, positive, and detailed way you present your information, and how the info is 100% practical! I love your use of humour and anecdotes too. Thank you so so so so much, Dan

[SarahRejsa-oibq]

Dan, I have to tell you about the "unsavvy" communication that was spoken today at my daughter's swim meet ! It stuck out like a sore thumb and in light of your teachings it just sounded awful. I was at my daughter's swim meet in Cottonwood Arizona, and not once, but 4 times, the announcer made a mistake calling out the wrong swimmer's name and lane numbers in some of the heats . Instead of saying, "I misspoke, " or "I made a mistake, " she (the announcer) said "just kidding, " "I lied, " AND "just kidding I lied" (together in the same sentence.) I thought You're DOOMED.

[PsychokoreUndergroundRap]

Thanks Dan. Valuable insight yet again

[justanothersherlockian]

When I first heard someone say "I lied" in that setting, I was confused and I thought: "Why is this person saying that they lied?"

[johnvas]

Hey Dan, Excellent video as usual. What is your opinion on dealing with people who consistently say "you know?" After stating what they believe is a fact. "You know?" "You know?" "You know?" It drives me up the wall. You know?

[fazbell]

Good bosses understand ALL of this. Good EMPLOYEES should understand them too.

[NicGiollaMhichil]

Excellent content, Dan, many thanks!

[Freerydah]

Instead of "I misspoke" I always say "sorry" or "I'm sorry". Is that ok?
Great video btw.

[arescue]

Great advice. Any suggestions on how to internationalize the better phrases that you recommended? Now, I’m aware of them, but how do you deliver them without looking or sounding unnatural? Or, does that even matter? Maybe I should just not worry about the performance and I will get better with practice?

[amberknemett]

Thanks for the video. I needed a refresher tonight.

[callummax]

But you are using a blanket approach, what about if someone is hyper sensitive or have a high self importance, it will not bring out the best in them.