Shadow Work: What It Is & When To Do It

[jcnlaw]

Experienced divorce lawyer here. Can you imagine if everyone had this level of self awareness and was able and willing to do “shadow work”? Divorce lawyers and family courts would be out of business. That is a good thing! Keep up the great work!

[markdunham]

As a black man, raised by an ex-military father and deeply religious mother, in the South, these videos bring into sharp relief how much of my emotional vulnerability was discarded as a means of survival. Never talking back, never expressing needs, never pushing back on chastisement that I internally felt was unfair has clearly shaped my shadow, particularly in being the eldest child and given lots of responsibility at a very early age. I find myself avoidantly attached to anxiously attached folks all the time, but now I'm beginning to understand why...and grieve it.

[Alpha-Andromeda]

Wow that’s truly gold: “the more your relationship with someone is challenging, the more shadow stuff is arising there”.

[rocking]

3:42 - Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate - Carl Jung
Thanks Heidi!

[vlandorrackhum]

My little example: I always thought of myself as a super honest person and I used to hate people for not being "honest enough". After reading "Man and His Symbols" by Jung, and doing shadow work, I realised I wasn't too honest either and maybe I was judging others too harshly. I still like honesty, obviously, but I am also less self-righteous about it to others. It's healed my anxiety and paranoia, and it's given me more internal peace

[DanielleFox-gj]

I was often called selfish by my mother as a child so I repressed the part of myself to instigate boundaries and self protection because my mother enforced that when I said no to things I was considered selfish so as I became an adult I lost friendships because I would self sacrifice myself for them, engage in people pleasing behaviours and didn’t insert boundaries winding up resentful in all my relationships.
I’m 33 and it’s only been the past 6 months where I see red flags in people who want to drain me so now I’m brave enough to look after myself first

[jeffthompson]

As a psychotherapist if nearly 30 years, I have to say I am constantly impressed with, and blessed by, your videos and other resources. Thank you for all your hard work!

[briannagravely]

Places in your life to look for your shadow.
1. Any self sabotaging behavior is shadow, typically coming from a belief that you don't deserve that thing or goal.
2. Continuing to attract the same kinds of people. Depending on quality you see in them and yourself, you love or hate them.
3. Moral righteousness. Judging harshly someone else for something you wish you could do or would never allow yourself to do.
4. Your triggers, ptsd or otherwise. They can provide important information BUT with trauma you typically can't think clearly and will need the help of a trained professional.
5. In the projections we make. The people for whom we feel the strongest need to change them OR the way we idealize others if they display a trait we wish you had but were taught to not show or express.

[erichaberman]

I've literally talked with over a dozen paid therapists when I'm truly looking for help and ready to work and not one of them has even a tenth of your direct explanations and clear tool training. Absolutely mind blowing!! Where are all the therapists who do this work in private sessions?!!!

[AnnaFitz]

I admire your level of self-awareness and introspection. Not to mention the amount of detailed research and preparation that goes into your videos and your eloquence. Thank you for this channel!

[SteraFaux]

Fearful avoidant gang where you at? 😂😅🙃

[eglantinelicorne]

The Limerence comment just made sense into my brain. I've struggled with limerence with an ex of mine for a long time. I have always been a huge perfectionnist, I was top of my class, and I always do everything right. My ex did NOT care like that at all and was SO MUCH more free-spirited than me. And I always joked that deep inside I was way more like him than on the surface. That's what I'm looking for in the limerence!!! BEING CAREFREE AND FREE-SPIRITED! Thank you Heidi!

[pasmetha]

Girl you be saving my life one step at a time ❤️

[ChristelDavies]

I kinda felt like I’d plateaued with therapy and was questioning if there was any benefit or if I was picking at a wound. But your videos have helped push me past that plateau and a lot of things I learned are now coming together in a way I can apply. Thank you! 💗

[maxpoweristhename]

The part about covert narcissism that drives me nuts is how they demand all this care and attention and give nothing back. I recognized during this little lecture that I struggle with asking for my needs to be met. It makes sense that this is why I disdain against the covert narcissist in my life and my friends lives.

[eatytts]

Just 5 minutes into the video and the fact that the shadow-self does not just represent the suppression of negative feelings but also positive makes so much sense and is completely different from what I've learnt from the internet. You're saying that it includes both negative and positive feelings and how we need to acknowledge the parts we have suppressed to understand ourselves better, for clarity and peace in life. Thank you for explaining it properly😭

[itsonlyliz]

I noticed that I played the victim card and then get mad when my boundaries have been crossed but the Aha moment was I'm looking for others to set those boundaries and expecting them to read my mind. Oh, it doesn't feel good the truth, but I'm glad I know it ! 6 minutes into the video. Thank you.❤

[juan_castellanos]

"Notice me! Notice me! Notice me!"

That resonated so much - I've recently noticed a number of my parts 'acting up' in different ways because they ultimately want attention. Love this vid and can't wait to see the rest of what you have planned the remainder of the week ♥

[SNTanon]

I've been learning about attachment theory for the past couple of years and have also been researching Jung's theories. I have to say that you have a gift for being able to explain very complex things in a way that is easy to understand and follow. I am so impressed with your articulateness and very concise examples! I appreciate your work! Keep it up!

[jofish]

I really like how you pointed out the positive sides hidden in the shadow and not just the negative.

It really helped me to have a better attitude towards my shadow.