What happens to Chinese women when men can't afford a relationship?

The number of marriages in China has steadily declined since 2013, dropping by half in 10 years and reaching an all-time low in 2022. For many Chinese men, marriage has become an unaffordable luxury and a costly dream. For many Chinese women, finding a suitable man is impossible. Their parents and the Chinese government are distraught…

1:09 Population Structural Problems
3:50 Why China has so many single women
4:32 The “Leftover Women” Phenomenon
6:08 Family Mergers & Acquisitions
7:30 How much does a man have to pay?
8:35 A ¥500,000 gift or a ransom?
10:36 Men feel exploited

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[marka]

No matter Taiwan or China, Chinese culture is all based on money. This is the reality. People can read all the Chinese philosophical books they want to think that this is the culture, but in reality, it's all about money, face and status. How many other cultures and people worship a money God?

[michaelwatson]

If she asked for 6 figures in Euros then she knew exactly what she was doing and he doesn't need to tell her it was inappropriate. That's not a marraige, that's a scam. He was right to sue.

[weissmorris]

As a loyal fan, I just wanted to let you know that your scripted programs are much more enjoyable to listen to and take considerably less time. Both aspects are much appreciated.

[grampajim]

The European guy should explain that in the west, there are no dowry's .. if she
continues to demand one, find someone else.

[aaryavartsolutions]

This is now a growing problem all over the world. Average pple are struggling. Life in general is becoming more and more tough. Added to his, relationships between human to human and between spouses is more and more unstable. I feel the entire modern civilization is about to collapse spectacularly.

[stevenpugsley]

Some rural Chinese men have resorted to marrying Vietnamese, and recently Cambodian women. Unfortunately there is also a dark side to this as Southeast Asian women are sometimes trafficked or duped into 'working' in China only to be forced into marriage. Either way it's sad that there are too few rural women, and marriage is a financial transaction.

[gpcheng]

As a Chinese/Taiwanese raised in America, I completely agree with your contrast of how much Chinese culture has changed. My parents are in their 70-80s and I am in my late 30s - the traditions they raised me with does NOT match with what I'm seeing now. None of my Chinese/Taiwanese immigrant or ABC friends (whose parents were all born in China or Taiwan in the 1950's-1960's) exchanged "bride gifts" - the men followed the Western custom of asking the bride's parents, then proposed with a ring. The bride's family or both shared the expense for the wedding. Wedding guests gave cash only in red envelopes as gifts to help the new couple on their next steps (home, school debt, future children's education...etc.). Sometimes a groom's mother would gift the bride some gold or pearl or jade jewelry. This seems so much more supportive and logical, especially since my generation still exhibits filial piety and takes care of our parents in their old age. It only makes sense to help set your children up as well as possible so they can take care of you in your old age - otherwise, you are just robbing your children and grandchildren. Something funny is that a large engagement ring was frowned upon - it was considered showing off and a waste of money that could have been put towards a home or invested/saved (a large fancy wedding is ok because the parents are footing the bill and being good hosts). I think that is actually very traditionally Asian. 😅

[hummit]

It boils down to greed. Dowry for bride is an age old custom, but modern day China parents use it to gouge money out of the prospective son-in-law. Marriage then becomes transactional - No money no talk. Now with the economy so bad but yet the bride families' demands are still insatiable, so men just give up on the idea of marriage. No point doing years of courtship to be ultimately betrayed by bride family's greed. I don't see Chinese communities outside China having this dowry problem. Unless China bans this practice, we are probably seeing the last few generations of China Chinese. Seriously, the problem is exacerbated by the poor economy when everyone is in survival mode. No one's in the mood to think about marriage.

[DD-srxm]

Actually urbanisation has had a bigger impact on declining birth rate than one child policy. In rural areas children are assets; they work on the farm, etc. In urban areas, children are expenses; bigger apartments, child care, schooling. This is the case in every society. But China had the biggest, fastest urbanisation in human history. In 2002, 2/3 of the Chinese population lived in rural areas. By 2018, 2/3 lived in cities. AND the people who made those moves to the city were mostly younger, while the older people stayed in the countryside. So it was a huge wave of urbanisation mainly by young adults.

[People.United]

Economically disadvantaged men cannot find brides.
Women most affected.

[charlesmackey]

Buying and selling human relations. No wonder it’s falling apart.

[poindexterflex]

I lucked out. My wife's parents didn't care much about this stuff at all. I'm not sure how much money I had to give, but I also got my father-in-law a new pair of shoes. They're pretty laid back!

[rururu]

"The deepest love for my children is not to bring them into this world "

I felt that. That is exactly how I feel, too.

[ReclinedPhysicist]

The United States has the same problem. The cost of living is such that when people do get married they postpone families and more and more couples are electing not to have any kids.

[paulchristopherriley]

Lei. This leads me to question my world. My wife and I indeed married for love. We had a civil ceramony an when my sister found out she insisted on throwing a reception for us. I would have asked her father but he was dead. We have built a life together and raised two successful children and we are happy enough together.

[kaonohi]

After living in Europe for few years, she should been aware of European customs of marriage or of the country that she is in.

[tipsandtricks]

I watched a recent video where Chinese men are now going to other countries to find wives. These ladies don't require a bride price or the other complications.

[klong]

If my GF demanded money from my parents for us to move the relationship forward? It would tell me (and my parents) all I need to know about her.

[lilyrobert]

Thank you for your wonderful descriptive video. My wife is from Shanghai, and she described the practice of bride gift was more of a token gesture years ago. Also no house or car involved. I visited China recently and you would not believe how materialistic the Chinese have become. Everything is about how much money you make, showing face, and consumption. It is no wonder marriage is becoming an issue there for the younger generation.

[proudeuropean]

My wife's femal cousin lives in a wealthy urban City in china and got married this year. As his family (living in rural northern china) is not capable to pay a bride price they just turned it around and her family paid a big amount to his family.