Hospice Patient Storytime - The Chef | Nurse Hadley

In this video I am discussing one of my hospice patient stories from a patient I call 'The Chef' while I make red beans and rice.

00:00 - 4:48 - Intro
4:48 - 22:47 - Story

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About Nurse Hadley:

Hadley Vlahos resides outside of New Orleans with her husband and three children. With eight years of experience as a registered nurse, including six years devoted to hospice care, she has gained profound insights into the field of healthcare. Online, she is affectionately known as "Nurse Hadley," where she shares heartfelt stories from her experiences as a hospice nurse.

Beyond her nursing career, Hadley has achieved literary success as the author of the instant New York Times bestseller, "The In-Between: Unforgettable Encounters During Life's Final Moments" published by Ballantine/PRH.

When dealing with any medically related events or medical emergencies, please communicate with your primary health care provider.

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[NurseHadley]

Thank you for watching and let me know your thoughts in the comments below. If you’re interested in more of my stories and lessons I’ve learned working as a hospice nurse, check out my New York Times best selling book, "The In-Between: Unforgettable Encounters During Life's Final Moments"

[TammiLay]

My uncle decided he wanted to dance one day when the aides came to change his linens. He hadn't danced in a very long time. He was dancing with my aunt and said to her, "Marge - who would have thought dying could feel so good! I can dance and I can hear! " He left us shortly thereafter. It just a beautiful story.

[UnfortunatelyMeAndBPD]

I was in a very bad marriage for 6 years but had 4 amazing kids with him. He dropped out of the kids lives but I kept them in his families lives. I was very close to his grandparents and couldn't imagine them not being around to see my kids. Granny passed with dementia in 2006, they had been married since they she was 14 and he was 17, so 70 years of marriage. He was very lost without her and heartbroken that she forgotten all their memories due to the dementia. He never stopped talking about getting to see "his baby" again. 5 years later I was doing my daily stop after work to check on him and he whispered to come sit next to him. He told me that Granny had come to see him last week and that she was so beautiful and remembered their first date again. He sd that she wanted him to thank me for keeping the kids in the family and for loving him so much after she died, and that she loved me. Then he smiled so brightly and sd "I'm going to see my baby tonight and I'll never have to let her go again. Hun, I won't wake up tomorrow." It sounded ridiculous but I somehow completely believed him. He held my hand until I left. I bent over to give him his hug and kiss on the forehead. He sd one more kiss and I'll give it to Granny for you. So I kissed him on the head again. He told me he loved me and would miss me. 6 hours later he was gone.

[MsSherrick]

I was taking care of a man with advanced dementia. It was the last day he got up out of bed and sat on the couch. He had not been talking for a few days. I was sitting with him, watching the Colorado Rockies Game while he largely dozed. He suddenly became alert, and looked like he was focusing on the tv and listening carefully for a minute. Then he started laughing, a huge belly laugh, and said "Well you tell Jesus that Mr Bayne (last name) says thank you very very much!". Followed by more laughter and him drifting back off to sleep. He passed peacefully in his apartment 2 days later. I have taken care of so many dying people, and I have never had the honor to witness something this magical!

[SmoBoo]

He wasn't confused he just had one foot in heaven and one here on earth. He was merging in and out of two different realms. Thanks for the story, I felt like I got to meet him.

[Kittie]

My Nan switched from speaking English to German in her last week. She was talking to her brother Horst and I knew he’d come to collect her. It was comforting to know she wasn’t alone.

[dolphinsmilec]

I love your videos. Before my brother passed away he woke up from a coma and had to have tapioca pudding. While I was feeding him the pudding he looked over at the window and said “not right now” when my dad asked who he was talking to he said “that angel has been trying to get me to go with him for the past 3 days and I’m not ready yet”. He passed away not long after that.

[TearDownThisWall]

If you were my hospice nurse, I wouldn't see you as an angel of death, but an angel of kindness and compassion.

[elizabethshow]

I used to go and stay with my grandma who just been admitted to a nursing home… about a wk before she passed she started telling me that my grandfather (who’d died yrs before I was born), was coming… that she could see him walking towards her out the window… Grandma had been completely blind for years…. Each day she’d say that he was getting closer. I got a phone call at 5:30am telling me that Grandma had died… I guess my Grandfather finally got there.❤

[becksullivan]

Want to share. My grandfather had been in a nursing home for a few years. Brain virus/dementia. He had not spoken much in a long time, didn’t know us. My last visit was special. I walked and said hi. He looked right at me and said “hey! We just had a brand new baby boy! “. He was smiling like I had not seen in so long. Curious as to which of his 3 sons he was remembering I asked “so what did you name him?” He looked at me and said “oh I don’t pay that much attention!” We both laughed. That was the end of his conversation and I never saw him alive again. But I told my family this story with great joy. For those minutes he was excited and happy. What a gift. I will see him again someday.

[sashabelle]

After my mom passed away, her chemo nurse wrote my dad a note. She told him that Mom had shed some tears during her treatment, both from discomfort but also due concern about how my Dad and the rest of us (children & grandchildren) would do in her absence. She knew the Lord was taking her Home soon. And He did. Her funeral was on the day she would have had her next and final chemo session. She did not want to go back to the hospital. My dad was her caregiver at home. She called out to him to help her, when he tried to help her up, she slumped and passed away in his arms. That is exactly how she would have wanted to go....at home in Dad's arms. Thanks for sharing your stories.

[laurenvanwinkle]

My father was so social. He knew so many people. His last full day we spent together on FaceTime talking to so many different people. By the evening I could tell he needed to rest. I told him I loved him and said Love. I knew what he meant. Then closed his eyes. The next day he passed. On the 22nd it will be year. I just wanted to tell someone about it.

[MadHatterDJ-]

Something similar happened with my uncle (my dad’s brother). My dad passed away from cancer when I was five years old, I’m in my 40s now. My uncle died about twelve years ago from a rare and fast progressing form of Alzheimer’s. It was very fast from diagnosis to him loosing the ability to do anything. He forgot how to eat, drink, speak.. heartbreaking. Anyway the morning before he passed away he woke up, looked around the room, smiled then looked at his daughter and said “I’m going fishing with our Roy tomorrow”. After that he settled back in to his vegetative state. He hadn’t been able to speak for months. Roy was my dad, his brother who died back in the 80’s. No one could understand what had just happened. He passed away the following day. It brings me a lot of comfort now my mum is getting on in years.

[christinakindler]

I love that you shared this. I was 19 when my son passed @ 7mo, 6d.
I for years i had the same dream about him but could never finish it. But one night I had the same dream again and I got to finish it. He came up to me and put his little arms around me and said. Mommy, I love you so much, you don't have to be sad anymore. I'm not in pain anymore, so please don't be sad. I love you Mommy😢 and I will see you again some day. That was 39 years ago and I still cry like it was yesterday. He came back to comfort me.
Thank you for sharing your videos. You are so comforting and caring. Your patience and families are so blessed to have you as their nurse.

[christinecraze]

my father was in respiratory distress before his passing from Lung Cancer and, a nurse on duty who knew him, sat with him as he waited for the family to get there and she made him comfortable with medications as they sat, he asked to place his hand on her pregnant belly and told her she would have a girl. My dad was NOT a demonstrative touchy feely man, this was not his personality, and we were so grateful to her that she shared this and it meant alot to her. She had a girl months later. Its been thirty years since he died and I never forgot this story. There just might be something to you having thiis new baby at this time. Love your stories nurse Hadley

[birdenthusiast]

I am a nurse, but not a hospice nurse. I have always admired hospices nurses. I had the honor of being with one of my patients when he passed just this past weekend. He served our country in the Vietnam war and he had no family. It was over the weekend that he (was in a skilled nursing facility and on hospice) began to actively pass. I visited him from Thurs - Sunday and would talk to him and play praise and worship music. Hearing is usually the last sense to go so I wanted to make certain that he knew he was not alone. Sunday, the day he passed I arrived to see him (not expecting him to be with us) and he was still laying in his bed. He ended up passing away within 30 minutes of my arrival. I believe he was waiting for me before he left this earth. He was in a coma-like state and his eyes were closed the entire time. I played one last song for him (How Great Thou Art). I noticed that his breathing significantly changed and at the end of that song, he opened his eyes and took one last breath. He was a very dear man and look forward to seeing him in Heaven one day.🙏

[cgw]

I find it amazing that women who are pregnant have a surge of energy in the last weeks to days prior to bringing life into the world and dying people have a surge of energy before leaving this world.

[bob]

I’ve worked with hospice twice so far (mother and father-in-law) and rather than think of the nurse as some sort of angel of death, I’ve always thought of them as an angel of mercy. Thank you for all you do.

[dawnlamb]

My mom passed away May 13th this year the day before Mother's Day. The 2 days before she died she was unresponsive so we took that time to just be with her, talk to her and tell some memories of our life with her. The night before she passed, when everyone had left, I sat next to her and told her what a wonderful mom she was and how proud I always was of her (she was a nurse too Hadley) I layed my head down next to her and all of the sudden I felt a pat, pat, pat, on my head. I know she heard me, and I was comforted by that. I miss her so. ❤

[gailmcbride]

I love hearing your stories, I lost my daughter in 2014, 47 yrs old, cervical cancer. I took care of her for 5 months, most of that time she was bedridden, I had a hospice nurse come 3 times a week, Hospice was wonderful, supplied the bed and all supplies I needed, they stayed with me for 3 days training me how to change her debried wound from having a large bedsore, and showed me how to change sheets while she was in bed. I appreciated them so much. She was catherized so that made it easier for me. The last week of her life I put her in a hospice care house as I could not control her throwing up sporadically so the hospice nurse said she was in her decline and should go to hospice house because they could control it. The Friday before she went to Heaven, I had washed her hair because I had an inflated basin and knew it would make her feel good. I kissed her goodnight and said I would be back in the morning, she was asleep, it was close to 10pm. I was home a 1/2 hoot when the nurse called me and said she was crying and wanted me to come, my husband and I went back down and stayed the night, and held her hand and told her we loved her, she died Sat at 1;45pm, and had a smile on her face, she had accepted Jesus as her Savior when she was in 8th grade, I had told her to go to Jesus, and there was no struggle. These type of video’s help me deal with my loss.