The 6 things I wish I knew when I was younger...

These are the 6 things I wish I had known when I was a lot younger - I hope you enjoy and thanks for watching! Feel free to add me on Snapchat / Instagram: GPStephan

1. I’d be less concerned about what other people thought of me. Trying to be cool, trying to fit in, trying to always say the right thing, or wear the right clothes…none of it ever mattered. No one cared. Everything was in my imagination because I was too self conscious to believe that I could just be myself without trying to fit in. Everyone is too focused on themselves to give any attention to you. So go ahead and just be you…if anything, people just respect that more. Very few people out there can truly be themselves, it takes a lot of inner confidence and security to know that you can be yourself. So go ahead, just be you and it’ll turn out better than you ever expected.

2. The next thing I’d tell myself is not to compare myself with others. On one hand you could look up to someone super successful and admire them, and use that as motivation and inspiration to push yourself further. On the other hand, comparing yourself to someone who has more money, is better looking, has more than you, is further ahead than you, and feeling jealous or that it’s “unfair” because of that…is a waste of mental energy. We’re all different, travel different paths, and it’s impossible to compare yourself with someone else. Life isn’t a race, it’s a journey. And it’s the journey that makes it beautiful, not the finish line.

3. There’s more than just someone’s image, too. You have no idea what people are secretly going through. The successful-looking guy could be absolutely empty inside. Or the non-assuming dude in the beat up Honda could be the happiest, more secretly baller player ever - your interpretation of these things isn’t always correct, so best to always go into it knowing that what you see is just what you see - it’s surface level.

4. The next thing, and the biggest thing, is that i’d like to remind myself that no one knows what they’re actually doing. Everyone is just as lost as each other but will rarely ever admit it. I’m still trying to figure things out, i really have no idea what I’m doing half the time, I still doubt what I’m doing is working or good enough, and I think that’s totally normal. It doesn’t make you weird, it doesn’t make you bad, it just means you’re like every other person who’s living life. We’re all just as clueless and winging it.

5. Finally, you never regret taking action - you only regret what you didn’t do. So go and do those things, you won’t regret it.

6. Don’t worry about things that haven’t happened yet. I’m a worrier. It’s a waste of energy. Spend your time doing this to proactively improve your life, not playing mental defense.

Understanding this really helps put it in perspective. Thanks so much for watching!

Suggested reading:

[GrahamStephan]

Let me know what you guys think of the new back drop / office setup! :)

[waterfrontoutdoors]

This is one of my favorite quotes “You never know what’s going on in someone’s life, it costs nothing to be nice to people, but being rude could cost you everything”

[AgnesCrandall]

Your advice is spot on. I remember reading somewhere as a kid, “Don’t worry what other people think of you, because they’re not thinking about you. They’re all thinking about themselves, just like you.” That advice had such an impact on me. Thanks for sharing.

[nosfavnicole]

This video was so powerful, I had to watch it a second time with my 9 yr old daughter. When you got to "don't compare yourself to others" she looked at me and said " I like this guy and what he has to say". I think your inspirational. Thank you.

[AlreadyhadJuice]

Wow this is life changing. Thank you so much I’m 15 and i watch your recent videos also but this is one of your old videos and the effort you put into all of your videos is outstanding. You inspire me to be better.

[AndrewKNI]

I totally agree with your views. And from my experience (as a 55 year old) you become much more relaxed about things with age. Life is too serious these days. In fact it's nice to go with the flow more, and not to worry :-)

[laraoneal]

Graham u are wise beyond ur years. Giving this great advice to ppl of any age is so inclusive and unselfish of you. I’m old enough to be ur mother but I wish when I was younger someone would have told me what u are teaching today. I learned all of this but not until I was on my late 30s. I did not have the internet obviously but the younger ppl do and have ppl like u to be there for them. However the younger ppl I meet never use this for research. I don’t get it. I was always a person who read voraciously and researched at a young age. I would have given anything to have had the internet when I was younger. But as soon as we had it I was using it and am still using it nonstop to research everything. I’m a blogger but I don’t talk about anything until I have researched it from all sides. I love it. My older friends don’t research anything either. It is a shame because we have all this information at our fingertips and so few use the internet for this purpose. You have a great attitude and so caring to share what u have learned with others. Great job. God bless.

[adampospi]

This will sound dumb but the one that said "everyone is lost even as you get older" is one of the most powerful things iv ever heard especially coming from you!! As I'm a student I feel like that all the time

[ccapil]

My biggest regret is finding this channel. Some of the videos are absolute No just kidding I love this channel, videos just keep getting better and better. Every video provides huge value, especially to the younger 30< audience. Office looks dope btw.

[VeixxBeats]

I see your channel is still growing. That's awesome and the office is looking super dope. Keep it up Graham!!

[Duclos]

Wow I really connected with this. I just turned 20, and suddenly got super real with myself and who I am. Going through a ton of personal development currently, and appreciate this video a little extra. Thank you Graham!

[carop]

I love that you transcribe everything in the description. Really helps when I come back to any of your videos

[randomindianguy]

Graham's video > studying for the exam :P

[jeannewilson]

Im showing your videos to my 9 yr old son so he can do better in life. I am in my 40s and wish I could redo a lot of my youth. I should have done so much differently so life would be easy for him

[michaelscott]

Great video. Never compared yourself to others: this is my own personal view:
1. If you compare yourself to another person, you are always going to lose. We always compare up. We compare ourselves with people who are doing better than we are: the guys with more money than us, the guy who is better looking than us, the guy who is better at a sport than us, the guy with the better job than us, the guy with the nicer house and car than us. We never compare down and therefore we will always lose. We should be happy for the person who is successful and without comparing ourselves to that person and without jealously, try to learn something from that person. Every single human being is unique and different and therefore it’s impossible to do an accurate or valid comparison.
2. Instead of comparing yourself to others, I suggest: compare yourself to yourself: compare yourself today with your possible best self: are you achieving your full potential? Are you working as hard as you can? Are you getting the grades that with your intelligence you should get? Are you in the shape that you can get?are you Saving the money that you can save? Do you have the job that with your skills you should have? Are you being as good and decent of a human being as you can possibly be? there’s always room for improvement but if you go to bed thinking “I did my best today” you will smile and sleep well. At the end of the day, that is the only comparison that matters: when everything is set and done, did I live my life to my full potential? Love your office.

[mariyanamadsen]

Great advice in general. The only one I am not truly believing is no 6 and that is because I am the same type of person worrying about the worst possible scenario. I remember that a teacher in my high school once said "Prepare for the winter, to enjoy the summer". It meant that if you are prepared for the worst, you can only be positively surprised if the worst doesn't happen. You can say that well we have worried for nothing for most of the times (for which we should be grateful) but let me tell you, it hasn't been for nothing. This has actually given us skills to survive when the worst happens.

[kirkroyse]

Your parents did a great job... my daughter is 16 years old and struggling watching your videos gives me hope for the future you're a true teacher...

[mikehicksRE]

I definitely have tons of things i wish i knew when younger that cost me so much money over time lol especially taking action and caring so much what people think when they 100% don’t matter

[CookieRaider]

This makes me so motivated to take action and sell some crack☺️

[nox_chan]

"Just be yourself"
I felt a great disturbance in the interwebs, as if millions of voices suddenly cried
in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.