Women and ACCEPTABLE LOSS: the other side of female hypergamy

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If it's true that women mate and date for gain (i.e., they get out more than they put in), then it must be true that men mate and date for acceptable loss (i.e., they put in more than they get out). It would not be possible for women to date for gain if they put in more than they got out, and such a relationship would likely prove unsustainable. However, it's important for men to understand that there is a difference between acceptable and unacceptable loss. I discuss more on this episode.

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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.

#psychology #dating #relationship

[psychacks]

If it's true that women mate and date for gain (i.e., they get out more than they put in), then it must be true that men mate and date for acceptable loss (i.e., they put in more than they get out). It would not be possible for women to date for gain if they put in more than they got out, and such a relationship would likely prove unsustainable. However, it's important for men to understand that there is a difference between acceptable and unacceptable loss. I discuss more on this episode.

Social Media




Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:

Book a paid consultation:

Sponsor an episode:

Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com

Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.

#psychology #dating #relationship

[kingdingaling]

When I was younger and had nothing to lose, dating and relationships were fine to experiment with. Now I have everything to lose. It's way too risky.

[JaySmith-pvmw]

At this point in my life, my acceptable loss is zero. I am done squandering my resources on women who eventually get bored and leave. Yes, all men pay. I'm not paying anymore.

[Prince-qrte]

'Men mate and date for acceptable loss' 😂 It's 100% true, it just sounds scary because no else ever says it like it is. So happy I found this guy. He brilliantly articulates the things we've all observed for years in a way no one else does.

[bunberrier]

Can confirm. Ex made roughly equal income. After I finally booted her out, my "household" income dropped about half but magically with all the same expenses and same house, everything, my disposable monthly income went from 0 to near 1000

[Last_one_before_I_go]

Freshly post-divorce at 54, I had $2K in savings, $26K in my 401K, A new mortgage of $218K and a beater car and truck. By not getting into LTR's over the next 12 years, I have a paid-off home, vehicles and tons in savings and mega tons in retirement. I'll not put my recovery at risk for any woman, any how, any way. At my age, it's now about managing my long-term survival against the foes in Government.

[jaythenihilist]

So many men are realizing how rigged the game is, and just walking away from it all together. But when I talk to women, they don't seem to even under the game they're playing.

[theunlearnedmind]

Half of everything I've worked for my entire life is an UNACCEPTABLE loss.

[JosephMcEvoy]

Eye opening on a level I was not prepared for

[Khan-rzqi]

Men just don’t want to be Providers anymore when women can legally take them to the cleaners. Also, men have realized that the Provider position isn’t a flex when Lovers get the full course meal with minimal lose.💯

[jakesdekker]

Nope, nope, NOPE.
My soul is worth a lot more than this.
I don’t need a perpetually unhappy leech in my life. Been there, have the t-shirt, sadly.

[avalanche]

It feels more and more that the "juice is not worth the squeeze" and the loss is not worth what you may get in return

[obits]

Man: _Would you sleep with me for one million dollars?_
Woman: _Sure._
Man: _How about for ten dollars?_
Woman: _What do you think I am?_
Man: _We’ve already established that. Now we’re just haggling over the price._

[shatterdreamz]

“A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.”

[Alaska_MD]

This might be your best lecture. A lot of truth here. After a 30 year marriage ending in divorce, I'm the general who wants zero causalities. At this point, I'm not sure any losses are OK... so I'm happily single. I would love to hear your opinion on that, and what losses you personally are willing to accept.

[SergioWhitestone]

Yep. That's why I find peace in solitude. I can sacrifice my health, my time and my energy for work, but I can't sacrifice my PEACE OF MIND!

[GoodDaySmoke]

We live in times where every other young male has seen his father or uncle or best friend ripped in pieces in court due to divorce or sexual harassment claims.
I understand the concept of "acceptable loss" but nowadays it means consequences so harsh that men choose to self-delete en mass. And that seems a bit much to ask, don't you think?

[TheByteknight]

I never thought of it that way before. Not only do we have an instinct to protect and provide for a gender that doesn't give two sh*ts about us, but we got this as well.

[steveos]

My reality is providing value and effort for which she gains. The insult is she becomes ungrateful or unappreciative of my effort to provide a better life for both of us.

[armorbearer]

I see. This is why dating is important. A man has to determine if the woman fits within the criteria of acceptable loss, and women need to determine if she gains through this marriage. Marriage has gone down because of two reasons. Women want to obtain more gain. Men find the loss unacceptable or cannot determine which women are worth the risk.