How do you know when your marriage is over? #AskATherapist - Mended Light

How do you know when your marriage is over? #AskATherapist - Mended Light //

How do you know when your marriage is over? Today, we ask a therapist how we will know when our marriage is over and what are steps to take next! You will get the marriage advice that you need to get you through challenges during your partnership. Not every relationship will be cheery all the time but it does have to be healthy. Click now to watch and learn how to know exactly when your marriage is over and if not yet, then how can you fix it right away!

#Howdoyouknowwhenyourmarriageisover
#AskATherapist
#MendedLight

[MendedLight]

We hope you liked this video! Leave a comment and let us know!

[BeGlamourlicious]

If one person doesn’t want to work on the marriage anymore, it’s over. I asked my ex boyfriend what is important in his life. He answered, making money, going to the gym, working hard. He didn’t mention“ I want our relationship“, or „I want a partner“ or anything like that. I knew.

[cassandravonpohl]

My husband broke my ability to compromise. I'm leaving. I've given and given and given. I work full time, take care of our son full time, do all the chores and cooking... NOW that I'm leaving, he's "working on it". He's doing a good job, but it's just too late. 10 years of this crap. I don't have anymore to give. Even if he's "perfect" from now on, even the most perfect relationships require compromise. I just can't do it anymore. I'm not going to bother with any relationships after this. Any man I would be with would have to give on damn near every issue at this point, and that's not a relationship. That's not fair.

[rebeccarc]

I would really like for you to do a video that outlines how to recognize if you are in an emotionally abusive relationship. I was in a marriage for 15+ years and I didn't realize I was being abused. There were no bruises or broken bones, no sexual abuse or anything telling. But he wore me down over time until I was no longer recognizable with words and actions like throwing objects at the wall. Once I asked him to leave, it only took me 2 weeks to feel like my old self again. I researched and recognized all of the signs of an abuser... afterwards. I would really love it if you could help others in this situation to recognize what is happening because I never knew it was considered emotional abuse until I was out of it.

[sigridbjergbakkemeyer]

I had a priest tell me, that marriage need regular checkup just like a car. So once a year at least you should see a counsler/therapist and talk about your main isues in the relationship and how you should make it better.

[thehappygamer]

When I got engaged to my husband, his Aunt took me aside and said, "Remember this, remember this feeling, remember the reasons that you love this man." And I can never see myself with someone else, and my husband has helped me get through so much of my traumatic experiences, that nothing he does can or will make me leave him.

[cierralowery]

This video is really good. Sometimes when your partner "doesn't want to do the work, " they are unwilling or incapable of communicating that, which leaves the partner who is desperate to fix the relationship feeling crazy and unable to find healing.

[the_gEN-Xer]

Revisiting this video...I've heard advice from "other" YouTube channels that if you're considering divorce...that's one sign your marriage might be over...but also to consider what your life would be like a week...a month...a year...2 years...5 years...with or without your spouse. If you'd be miserable without them...then you try to convince them the marriage is worth saving. If the answer is you'd be miserable with them...then you know for yourself the marriage is over...

[brightphoebesays]

I saw a local counselor near the end of my marriage, unfortunately it was not quality therapy, and maybe it was already too late. My husband cared more about his comfort than mine. I was sick, because of his emotional abuse, and he couldn't even see it. I even had HIM apply the ointment to the spots on my back I got from the stress he caused me, he still couldn't see it. He blamed me for my own unhappiness saying it was a choice. It was an MD who turned the lightbulb on for me, when he told me my various ailments would only worsen unless I did something about the stress. That was an OMG moment. Visions of the movie "Alive" in my mind. Marriage ended 9 years ago. SO I think if your health is seriously jeopardized by your marriage, it's time to go. If your spouse wants to keep you in a metaphorical cage, and won't let you have friends or family, time to go. If he tells you can't leave without his permission, time to go.

[frappalina]

I think neglect is also a good enough reason to leave

[nadibat]

I find intolerable to be with someone who nearly always has to be right and/or rarely ever apologizes or admits errors or mistakes. Another mysterious nono is when I have a feeling that I don’t know the person better with time. It’s as if one year later I still know as much about that person as what I learned during our first weeks together. I wonder why this happened and if it was something that I brought about.

[redheadchick]

Thank you for this video. It was helpful. Recently realized my husband is a narcissist and has an attachment disorder. He has been verbally abusive most of our marriage. Will be married for 25 years. Been a rollercoaster. In the process of leaving him. When he is nice, it is hard to do but I know it is an act. This cycle has gone on the whole marriage. I'm finally gonna be free very soon.

[Valdagast]

It's over when you feel disgust for your partner.

[mercyhouse]

Im sorry for you. I remember watching your videos first time and i wondered why would you be married to someone that when youre so different. Keep being a therapist because you really help people, especially those like you who are in relationships with those alpha heartless( it seems), controlling people who seem so cold when some of us give our whole heart and get what seems so cold and heartless. I know its not from your videos on personality type. But can't do it anymore. It hurts not to feel loved.

[samiam]

My husband and I just separated a month ago after a deeply traumatic first year of marriage during COVID. We both desperately want to work it out, but I can’t even be ok a room with him anymore without having an anxiety attack, so I’ve been avoiding him for a few weeks. It’s so incredibly heart breaking wanting to accept love and affection from someone who just makes me feel like I’m dying a thousand times over and over again. It’s also incredibly bizarre.

[u.h.]

I don’t know if this is the place to say this but here it is. My dad left my mom when I was 13 out of the blue. It was painful not only obviously for her but for myself and my sibling. I didn’t realize how traumatic I think it was, however, until I realized that “Easy on Me” by Adele is about her justifying her divorce to her son, and I unexpectedly started crying. Always take care of yourself, but if there are children involved, please think of them too. Parents often say, or at least my dad said, that children will get over it, but from personal experience, they don’t.
Anyways, I hope everyone is well and thank you for reading this comment. Thank you as well to Jonathan and Alicia and Mended Light for this video. I think I want to show it to my partner, as we are currently on a wait list for couples therapy after breaking up and getting back together - and we are also Cinema Therapy fans! Thanks again.

[abigailtravis]

Would you do a video on living with a partner with depression and anxiety disorders? I’m struggling finding resources and my husband’s depression can really effect my own mood/ my own issues

[amayastettler]

I’d love to see a video on setting healthy boundaries in relationships. Thank you for all that you guys do here on Mended Light :)

[Lilliaace]

I know speaking from previous relationships in the past when it came to the point where I would absolutely dread just being in the same room as them on a regular basis, I knew that the relationship was in crisis mode and it was time to make a serious change or leave

[a.r]

My husband and I are polar opposites but Alhamdullilah we have made it work so far. We both have very different ways of handling relationship problems hence some of the journeys we have to do alone - My approach is to openly and honestly discuss the problem and what we can do, while he prefers to sit it out in silence and try to make changes in the future based on assumptions. But the three columns (appreciate, tolerate, dealbreakers) is such a good idea as a grounding exercise! it so easy to get overwhelmed with emotions during a tough season. I realized I have more on the appreciate collum than tolerate. Feeling more grateful and love. Will definitely go back to it during hard times.Thanks so much! - <3 from Malaysia