#1 Question to Ask Yourself Every Time You Meet Someone New

►► If You’re Ready to Escape the Maze and Discover What It Takes to Get Real, Lasting Commitment
Watch the Limited-Time Replay of Casual to Committed now at . . .

▼
Don’t Miss Out! Subscribe to my YouTube channel now.
I post new love life advice for you every weekend.

▼
Tired of dating the wrong people?

When we really want to find a relationship, saying “no” to the people who don’t align with our core values can feel scary . . . especially when we’re not meeting a lot of people we connect with. We may even start to loosen our standards and become attached to someone who’s only giving us crumbs.

In today’s video, I dive into the subtle-but-profound difference between those who successfully find love, and those who continue to remain in limbo. You’ll also learn how to cultivate the right culture in your life to attract a lasting, fulfilling relationship (plus I share a story from my younger days as a DJ).

Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

▼ Get My Latest Dating Tips and Connect With Me… ▼

▼ Chapters ▼
0:00 – 1:00 – Finding the Right Person Earlier
1:00 – 2:36 – The Wrong Questions
2:36 – 3:42 – A Connection to Someone’s Character
3:42 – 6:47 – The Culture You Create in Your Life (DJ Story)
6:47 – 8:17 – “Will This Opportunity Diminish or Enlarge Me?”
8:17 – 9:14 – When It Feels Like a Step Back
9:14 – 11:59 – Taking Culture Seriously
11:59 – 13:05 – Limited-Time Love Life Replay

[heathergrahame]

Look at how they make you feel. If they leave you feeling confused, then they're not the one.

[Wins]

intuition speaks 247, don't dismiss it for paranoia. When you feel uncertain about something / someone, trust me, that's all the closure you need

[BeYounique...Maryanne]

I was in my 20s in the 1980s and EVERYONE (aunts, friends, co-workers, etc.) was trying to fix me up. I was very selective and people trashed me for that. I came from the generation that if you weren't married by 25 you were considered an old hag. Nevertheless, I stood my ground because I wasn't "feeling it" with anyone I was meeting. FINALLY, I started dating someone amazing in 2005, when I was 42. He was someone I had a crush on when I was a teenager, but he wasn't available. Finally, the stars were aligned and we were both free and able to date. Five years later he proposed. We've been happily married since 2011, just celebrating our 13th year anniversary. We're now in our 60s and so very much in love! Friends and family call us "the love birds." My husband is a gem. We have a few date nights every week, and our snuggle at home nights. He was WORTH THE WAIT!

[elizabethmeulenbelt]

Great advice for life. I love the question, "Does this expand or diminish me and my values?" It should be front of mind on all decisions, work, life, and love.

[zairademexicoacanada]

I just rejected a guy with whom I had already scheduled a date with, because he started calling me baby and sweetie, before we even met in person...I know that I don't want to be with a guy that uses those words, (meant for someone special) so lightly. It made my intuition alarms go off, and although he was HOT, I canceled because I already knew, if I ended in a relationship or even dating this guy, I wouldn't trust his character....it was hard, but I felt relieved after, and I'm still proud of being impeccable with my dating choices, waiting for the person that shares same "character " and values as me....❤

[daneeka]

'' To keep saying no, when it doesn't feel like there aren't any opportunities around, that's what makes it brave. But the rewards for being brave is profound.'' - My new motto. Thank you MH

[BeYounique...Maryanne]

You are so wise! This is great advice for friendships too. Don't go for the "low hanging fruit." Find people who you truly connect with, people who energize you -- not drain you. And people who truly care about you, not those who only contact you when they want something.

[Jacquelinerenees]

I appreciate this idea of the culture we create. I was recently talking to a guy, and the way he was responding to me was so out of line than what I would ever allow my family or friends to do. So after seeing it 3 times, in 3 weeks, it indicated a pattern for me and all I had to say was, “I get why you are doing this, but it’s not okay and it’s really hard on me.” And he exited stage left. It made me see that I surround myself with people who value self development and reciprocal relationships and that’s the culture I value and create for myself.

[-NateTheGreat]

For the first time in forever I walked away from someone I was dating for a month that I did not connect well with. Every previous date and relationship was ended by them and not me. I seen red flags and followed my heart and ended it amicably. It felt incredibly liberating.

[kruemel]

9:48 'the people in life who not only find love, but find it with people who make them happy in relationships that last, take culture seriously' this is an underrated gem of advice. I believe that just by keeping sight of this and accordingly approaching dating intentionally, a lot of people would spare themselves from falling into unhealthy partnerships.

[francem]

“When nothing is happening is happening in your love life in the short term, that can feel like a thankless task.”
This comment really resonated with me. The work we have to put in with building a value set and seeing how someone will fit within it feels daunting and the urge to settle is strong.

[sun_rose]

Fuck guys like that! He's keeping you warm, while dating others, while thinking about keeping his options open! Women, think about this when dating, how does this guy make me feel? How does this feel to me? If you feel confused, weird, off, not sure, insecure around him, end the texting, dating and whatever is going on between you two! You are valuable! You are worthy of being loved! ❤

[Greenplanet]

He continues to text her while he’s dating someone else because he likes the excitement of having another woman on the string. That’s not a little red flag, that’s a stadium sized one.

[AngelaAng-nearaquietstream]

Matthew, you’ve helped and encouraged me through your videos to slowly change my beliefs about my worth and how to live intentionally by my values in order to have the life I dare to hold out for. I am learning how to choose myself day by day, instead of abandoning myself and settling for ambivalence, disrespect, and not being chosen. I am grateful for your wisdom and kindness. Thank you. 🙏🏼❤

[cinh]

Waiting longer for someone who has the same culture really resonates with me. Thank you for sharing these important messages, hopefully it will save some unnecessary 💔 hearts.

[audreym.]

I used to think guys were shy (some tell you that in this society women make it hard for them to approach them 🙄), they’d show me interest but not ask me out or really make the first step, invite me on a date or simply kiss me when the moment was there. When I was a teenager I got rejected once by one but apparently didn’t learn the lesson. and then adult I dated for more than a year two guys consecutively that liked me of course but it became obvious I loved them more than they loved me and I felt really lonely and unloveable in those relationships.
Now I will never ever again believe men are shy. Either you do what’s necessary to get me if you like me or you don’t and you miss the opportunity. But I’ll never be afraid of missing an opportunity myself !

[violetapricopie]

I was just about to date a guy, who my guts says hes not what I seek but somehow universe just showed me your video, now I know, I better wait.
Thx ❤

[karenak]

Wow, this makes so much sense…I regret wasting 20 years of my life with someone who I wanted to believe had character, but found out later, he and his whole family never fit in with my culture. I so wish I was aware of this great piece of advice back then. I never would have gotten involved with this person. I was recently left being disrespected and disregarded after putting 20 years and 100% of myself into the relationship. I am now out on my own and feeling very relieved and free!

[quinnbill]

Excellent video. Concepts applicable to not only dating, but also job, friend, housing, and activity choices. Confusion, compromise (too much), and conflict indicate long-term mismatches.

[dampergoldenrod]

It's a good point about whether having contact with someone or being involved with someone will diminish you or make you a better person