Why I Stopped Reading Self Help Books

Self help books were helpful for a time, until they became a source of unhappiness. What was I really looking for? What is your relationship with self help books?

Listen on my Being Human Podcast:

[depressiontoexpression]

You are an incredible human being - 18:32
Thanks for listening to my little story and journey. If you want to listen, my podcast is now called "Being Human Podcast". Hoping to answer questions, have group live streams and hang out with all of you!

[kerfeekween]

The more self-help books I read, the more screwed up I felt I was. I am still interested in the topic, but I found reading too much too often was detrimental to my mental health.

[penguinatedthings]

"There's no such thing as self-help. If you did it yourself, you didn't need help."
-George Carlin

[fuzzygraytoad]

Scott, around this time last year I was in one of the worst depression relapses I had ever experienced. I was working a stressful job—underpaid, overworked. I was alone—and felt it. I was on the edge of the S word. Naturally, I found you on youtube around the same time. It took everything in me to get out of bed every morning and face the day. With your help, I was able to. Eventually, I found myself relying on your videos more and more, and noticed you were starting to post less and less. I’ve probably watched every single one of your old meditations and podcasts at least twice. As the days went on, I came to the realization that I had to start to rely on myself more.

So I did. I started to pick myself up with the tools you gave me. I found a much better, higher-paying job (albeit after a bit of job hopping). I got my own place. I’m on medication and therapy. I live life on my terms. I’m incredibly proud of myself, and, most importantly, I am able to acknowledge that I brought MYSELF here. I applied to those jobs. I signed the lease. I picked up the phone and called my doctor. I asked my girlfriend out.

I can’t thank you enough for your words. What you say about self help in this episode is true, and it rings true for most things in life. I wouldnt be where I am today without the help of others, but I definitely wouldn’t be here without my own help as well. Great things happen when we get out there and LIVE.

[MagikRabbitt]

👏👏👏 A RESOUNDING HELL YEAH I feel like I just started truly living and I'm 34. I stopped worrying, stopped waiting, stopped wanting... now I just LIVE life as it was meant to be lived as a HUMAN! Loving, being genuinely ME without regret, maybe an "oopsy" here and there but I'm not going to cry about mistakes, I keep going and keep thriving. Awesome insight! Much love to u!!!

[ejgames]

Information overload is a big thing I struggled with. It got to the point where I always felt like I was letting myself down because I wasnt doing everything in the 5 books I read. self help books are a good thing but reading them in excess is like mental masturbation and lead me to actually staggering and downward spiral. I stopped a few years ago. The non-fiction I read now is mainly mental health based and less “always be grind/take action”. The moment I realize that the more I “needed” to “fix myself” kept reinforcing the belief that something was wrong with me and that I as the way I am now is not enough to live a happy and fulfilling life. Now I treat myself to fiction and don’t really worry fixing and more about understanding myself and acceptance

[koennijhuis]

Reminds me of a post from Matt Haig;

`The trick I reckon is to live while everything is imperfect, while everything is unfinished, while everything is not known. To just live in the mess and the mystery and not try to order it, tidy it or turn a cloud into a triangle. But to just f*cking live!`

[SavageMade]

I just had this conversation yesterday with myself!!!...Right when you said "How To Win Friends & Influence People" I had to laugh and look at it on my coffee table along with other self help books...S.OS. Help For Emotions, Practicing The Power Of Now, my first self help book was when I was 26...it was "The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People"...I had the epiphany too that I was better off without it...Neville Goddard messed me up cause I was on a roll with my own intuition and manifesting...now I get mad when I don't "manifest"...well that's cause we were lied to!!!...I wanted to make a video that manifestation books and the like doesn't work...you have to take action and learn through trial and error...that's how you manifest or do anything...you just keep trying but also listen to your soul when it's time to move on...

[BIBLE-a-s-m-r]

At this point self help feels like bypassing the present

[bellpepper]

The purpose of knowledge is action not knowledge

[adriannecarlotasalvatori]

Be aware that the human being is always in his own search. And each and every act of his is to strengthen his growth. Mental health comes first. Always Thanks .
It is a pleasure to listen to you.

[DFC]

dude, you look so much better, you also sound better

[Nevyana]

I started reading spiritual books / self help books in 2008 too and after years of reading I just knew I needed to stop and listen to my intuition more for guidance

[shawnbottomley]

You totally are correct in every aspect in this video!! We are perfect the way we are!!

[a.m.]

Man you couldn't be more accurate! I've recently found your channel and it's one of few which actually brings clarity and peace. We live in a "productivity" epidemic. Reading books and watching videos about striving isn't hard. Settng goals and never-ending to-to lists isn't hard. The hardest thing is to accept ourselves as we are...

[xFailage]

Hi Scott. Absolutely that is me. I am in the comfort of reading the self-help books and watching a bunch of youtube videos and TEDTalks. Really needed to hear this.

[amanda_lucas]

I totally feel this. I still love my daily devotional though. It gives insight and motivation without feeling like I'm lacking.

[sunmaw]

Looking good, Scott!! I'm happy to know that you're doing well.

[floricica]

Hello! I am so glad you are making videos again! Back when I was deeply depressed, some 5 years ago, I used to listen to your videos where you were sharing instruments to ease anxiety and depression to calm my mind down. In terms of self help books, I think that it can be a process of accumulation and then, at some point, after working in terapy for a while, you can feel confident enough to practice what you learned. Here, in Romania, there is a big big need for people to educate themselves about how to deal with emotional stuff. But, as you said, at some point it is just dopamime strike. I voluntarily stopped buying books like so when I realized I have enough tools and they don't even need to be so many. You just need to practice them. Plus my "to read books" shelf was getting fatter and fatter 😂. I realized while listening to you that yes, for me learning is indeed a strong dopamine source and I use it and abuse it sometimes. In terms of intellectualizing life a lot. Thanks for this perspective. Once a fan, always a fan. 😎

[elvira]

I appreciate you so much! I appreciate your honesty and realism! Thank you! ❤