Coming out as Autistic - How do you tell people? #shorts

#shorts
How do you tell people you’re autistic? And come out safely? If you have been diagnosed later in life, chances are the discovery of autism is a very big thing for you. Maybe you’ve been masking all your life and it’s difficult to get the people in your life onboard with your new self-discovery. However, we have to expect that negative stigma and myths about autism are common. So how do we go about disclosing safely? There are different ways to do it, but for me, the key part was that I wasn’t justifying myself. Rather, I was just sharing what I learned in my own journey so I wasn’t trying to convince anyone.

-----------------------------------------------

👋Welcome to Autism From The Inside!!!

If you're autistic or think you or someone you love might be on the autism spectrum, this channel is for you!
I'm Paul Micallef, and I discovered my own autism at age 30.

Yes, I know, I don't look autistic. That's exactly why I started this channel in the first place because if I didn't show you, you would never know.

Autism affects many (if not all!) aspects of our lives, so on this channel, I want to show you what Autism looks like in real people and give you some insight into what's happening for us on the inside. We'll break down myths and misconceptions, discuss how to embrace autism and live well, and share what it's like to be an autistic person.

Join me as I share what I've found along my journey, so you don't have to learn it the hard way.

Make sure to subscribe so you won’t miss my new video every Friday and some bonus content thrown in mid-week too.

👋Connect with me:

Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy my channel!

Peace,

~ Paul

#autism #asd #autismawareness

[ArtsyMegz_On_Etsy]

Yeah, I knew that certain family members wouldn't believe me (because they doubt me half of the time in general anyway). This is the part of autism where "feeling like you're not believed whenever you tell people about something traumatic or something extraordinary" is a very common experience for me. During times of being victimized by bullies, a common response I would get from people was, "Well why would they do THAT for?" They didn't even know the person that was bullying, but yet, they still acted like they know that no kind of person would ever do that (despite there being crime happening all over the world). I finally learned how to cope with people doubting me, by finally getting too tired of it to care anymore (I was so tired of it taking up my energy). Now, when those same family members question my autism, I just decided not to care if they believe me, but ask them to at least consider the possibility. I tell them, "Every time I react in a way that you completely don't understand, could you maybe entertain the thought that THAT might be why". So now, whenever family members don't understand my reactions, preferences, or needs, I point out right then and there that it is actually an autistic trait, and there around 40 traits, and I experience about 30 of them.

[FriteVerte]

"Finding my tribe" really was a revelation for me. I've always felt more comfortable around autistic people all my life and never really knew why. I just thought they "got me" more. I made friends with other folks but they were platonic relationships.

Now that I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum, the feeling of belonging is the most beautiful thing about autism. I can connect tremendously with some people because of it. It's an aspect of the condition that is rarely mentioned because autistic people are seen as loners. But it's not that we are loners, it's that we choose our friends more carefully.

[Storms]

Good way to reframe the situation. My wife just got recently diagnosed and has already experienced this type of reaction.

[shelbybutler]

Thanks for this. When I told my mom that the diagnostic tests all indicate that I am on the Spectrum, my mom's response was "Why would you want to know that?" (Autism diagnosis) She never spoke about it again, after that. I honestly did not expect that. I am a recovered Alcoholic, I have a blood-clotting disorder, and an autoimmune disorder. My mother was supportive and curious about all of the other diagnoses; but, she does not want to hear about Autism. Don't be surprised if your family is unsupportive.

[kjamison]

I was diagnosed just over two months ago and I cannot come to terms with it. It explains all the stuff from my childhood - the assessment traced it right back to my childhood - but there is a tragic element in that. No one knew back then and teachers were not as aware as they are now.

I have been very careful about who I have talked with and I have received very mixed responses. Only one response has been positive.

[annap]

My favorite response “oh that makes sense”

[Brittney]

Wow, so true on this. I notice I do try to avoid disappointment a lot, because it usually triggers very strong feelings. I think sitting down and thinking of what’s likely to happen, is a really practical way of navigating that. Thank you!

[flowglimusic]

Wow what a minefield mate. There’s so much ignorance and misinformation out there. I had to put up with all kinds of gaslighting etc it was very hard to process emotionally

Eventually I just disappeared lol. moved to Sweden and started a new life where people are more accepting and aware

Thanks for this

[idkwuzgoinon]

I told my sibling that I was recently diagnosed with autism and adhd. They completely pushed back saying “you know doctors can be wrong don’t believe them the first time” and “you don’t seem autistic at all maaaybe I can see the adhd”.

Just goes to show why I mask around them so much, their lack of knowledge around adhd and autism, and why I never share anything with them.

Gotta love unsupportive relatives. I knew that was going to be the response going in. I just wanted to tell someone.

[DandaOldMan]

In a way, the negative response is because the people that like you felt some kinship with you and you saying you are different interferes with their feeling that you are “their tribe” despite your differences. So it’s like you are rejecting their tribe and them.
People that didn’t like you or thought you are weird before arent likely to change their feelings to a more positive view of you, they just have a label to use to justify it now.

[tammycarruthers]

Wow, thank you so much for sharing your experience and scripting an example!

Being able to manage expectations, partnered with scripts or examples will be the key component in decreasing the amount of uncomfortable masking that is taking place in our community while also boosting the understanding/inclusion within society.

I feel many people in my network and family will find your shared experience so helpful, myself included. I'm grateful for this YouTube channel and for all of the amazing work you have done and continue to do. 😊🙏

[tlafleur]

I am an eldery adult diagnosed recently with ADHD. Most older ppl don't know what that is and think it means your mentally ill. So I decided to keep it to myself.

[Hi_Im_Akward]

I like how you address this. However I know certain people in my life will be nasty about it no matter what. Not just a "I can't believe it" but see it as attention seeking or "trying to take advantage". Just think it's really individual to the people you tell. I've talked to some close friends about it, with varying but positive results. I've talked to family about it with really nasty results. Some people are just really mean and nasty.

[swish]

I felt like I found my tribe initially in my early 20s when I was looking into MBTI and realized that I had so much in common with other INTPs.

Now that I've been diagnosed autistic, it is somewhat bewildering the commonality in experience between us, despite the differences that exist person to person.

[Stanley.]

I think most people just assume that I'm "on the spectrum, " so to speak. I've never actually been diagnosed (that I know of), but if I were, a *whole lot* of things throughout my life, and in my childhood, would make complete sense! I've always had bizarre obsessions over seemingly mundane things, I was not "shy, " but many people thought that I was, when in reality, I had little to no social skills, but I came from a loving, two-parent household. I was not from an abusive home or anything, and my sisters were "normal, " so sometimes I wonder.

[Eclipse-mfhc]

I have this problem. I received my asd diagnosis in March of this year and only my close family, friends and doctors know about it. I want to tell my grandparents but the problem is if I tell my paternal grandparents it’ll spread like wildfire to all my cousins (who I’m not ready to tell), but if I tell my maternal grandparents they’ll go into full out denial mode. I can confirm the latter since they think “I’m too good at reading” to be dyslexic and have shown distrust in my adhd diagnosis (they’re slightly coming around to it). I just don’t know how I’d approach this and they’re getting really old so time’s running out. I’ve had circumstances where I’ve said “todays the day I’ll tell them”, but then that day passes and I haven’t told them. Sorry for all my ranting/rambling

[Zemythian]

Thank you for this. I plan to take the test soon. My parents said its extremely likely im on the spectrum somewhere. I just want proof and closure now for all thats happened in life

[Barracuda-rs]

Thanks Paul I am grateful for you sharing your experiences. It helps give me strength to keep on keeping on. Plus it reminds me to use discernment in who to confide in and whom not to share my personal life information. Just be cautious about sharing about being an Aspie or on the spectrum. People in general don’t know Aspergers let alone what on the spectrum entails. Thanks 🙏

[Endureth]

I'm 49 and just starting to realize I have aspergers and have had it my entire life. I have pushed everyone away from me that I shouldn't have. There's no one left. I lived in exile my entire life, scared and misunderstood. Confused. My autism is not my friend, it has done nothing good for me my entire life.

[christiewelsh]

Thank you for this. I haven’t had my official assessment and diagnosis yet, but mentally preparing myself for the reactions.