Things I don't do as a wife (anymore) - Biblical application

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[beanpie]

Ladies, just a reminder, it's okay to voice your concerns. I understand not wanting to be a nag, but please don't push down your concerns, opinions or grievances. Please don't demonize your emotions, including anger. You are worthy to be heard. Marriage is a partnership at the end of the day.

[destinyann]

Can you and Jordan do a video about things he doesn't do as a husband? This video was very insightful and I'd love to see the other side!

[Hello-sqxy]

i just want to say, if you do not feel like having sex for any reason, your husband/wife should respect that.

[valerieplace]

No matter how powerful a gift sex is, ladies, please know it is ALWAYS okay to simply just not be up for it. Protect yourselves ❤

[monasequeira]

Hey sis! I was led by God to comment on this video. I have followed you for not too long but love your content and today's content really edified my faith life. When you spoke about your past failures as a godly wife (not doing husbands laundry, denying sex, being unkind) bcz of your feelings or mood, I sort of told myself, well I wouldn't do that, duh. I know better. I've read all the right books on marriage, heard all the right sermons & podcasts, followed the right influencers on insta, I'm 2 steps ahead, of course I'm gonna treat my man right... But then the Lord gently convicted me. My relationship with God has been strained lately because of my feelings and mood. Feelings of exhaustion, unanswered prayer or the like have quenched my fire for God. I haven't felt motivated lately and it has manifested in how I treat him. I haven't read the word in days, haven't praised him in days, I do pray everyday (due to my commitment to show up in the secret place) but besides that, I have denied him that sweet intimacy, those giggles I share with him, how I bear my soul naked before him, because lately I've felt like he doesn't care (I know he does) but when the answer is slow in coming, your feelings and emotions get the worst out of you. I was greatly convicted. And the Lord asked me, if your mood & feelings have greatly affected your devotion to me, ur prayer life, our intimacy, what makes you think you'll treat your husband any better than you treat me? What makes you think you got it? I'm a perfect God and ur husband will be an imperfect flawed human, what makes you think you're going to submit to him willingly when you almost drag yourself to the prayer closet? You're not going to love & honour him any better than you do me. Come here & let's reason this.


And sis, I thanked God for you and using your content to convict me in a way only he could. You probably didn't know how your video would impact the people, but God used it in a specific way to show me my error in my relationship with him. I'm not yet married, but definitely much to glean from this. God bless you & continue to use you as his vessel.

[ash]

My marriage has crumbled since having my son 2 years ago. I’m pregnant again and terrified. We argue constantly. I’m bitter, burnt out and there really is no joy in my heart. I know I need the lord to help because I can’t turn my life around on my own…. I just feel so intimidated and lost on where to even start in the Bible. I’m on survival mode but man I wish life could be joyful and fruitful. Just so discouraged. Any prayers would be greatly appreciated

[ayla]

I think sex should only happen when both people 100% want to and are enthusiastic about it. I could not imagine ever having sex with someone who also doesn’t 100% want it. THEY should want it too. I wouldn’t want someone to have sex with me just to please me. That would be a huge turn off for me and definitely cross a line. I don’t think it would be enjoyable for either people. I think it could slowly build resentment and you could start to view sex as a chore.
Yes, him not taking the trash out seems like a silly reason to decline sex but if it truly made you angry and not want to have sex with your husband, then you probably shouldn’t because it wouldn’t be enjoyable for you and probably not enjoyable for him either.

[erinb]

I became a wife the day before my 25 birthday. My husband was never a big believer, watching our faith grow together has been so beautiful. I hope God keeps working through us, so we can be the people God always knew we could be.❤

[zareakirby]

I’ve been married a year next week, I do all of these things. I didn’t in the beginning but A LOT has transpired and made me bitter things i never expected to deal with that are intense for most humans. Not justifying myself. But I struggle with operating solely on emotions when I am upset because I feel justified in the reoccurring struggles my husband brings to the marriage. Now i said all that to say this was on time. I want to change and do better. If you would do discipleship training I am 100% all in.


Please pray for my strength and pruning in the Lord.


I love you all

[larafuad]

I love how you're dressing now. Supercute and not overtly modest but still respectful and modest lol

[JessicaWarner-tj]

Your girls are going to have such a fountain of wisdom to draw from in their mother. Well done. 👏

[larafuad]

Milena I've prayed for your change but the degree of your change is much more than I imagined❤ You made me realize that God truly and surely change people ❤🎉😊

[nicolemarie]

When we stop letting our feelings dictate our actions. This is so true Milena! There is such freedom in not letting our emotions control us and also in knowing our feelings aren’t always truthful.

[lizzyweiglein]

Milena sister- I need your prayers right now for my sister and her husband. They are falling from their faith. A year ago they had a stillborn baby at 34 weeks. They are suffering so immensely and I want to fix it all, but I know I can’t. Please pray for them for the Holy Spirit to work in their hearts again💔

[thatchristianstuff]

It brings me joy to my soul to see you always holding a Bible in your hands. The Bible is our sword and shield. Our Father in Heaven adores when we cradle His Word.

[JordanandJanice]

The way you quickly flipped your bible open in 24:06 😅 I’m HERE for it and I strive to be like that 😊
Always and ONLY using scripture for reference 🎉

[jennylgarciajlg]

Loved this. I wake up everyday trying to better myself as a wife and mom. One I’m still struggling with is my tone of voice. I know that I set the tone of my home by my tone. And I can build it or break it down.

[Thegracefilledjourney]

This was just... so... amazing and needed... I feel so lost as a wife.. I feel like a failure and I'm only in my second year of marriage. I hope you make more videos about being a wife and how to steward that blessing. It's wonderful to see the fruit of a successful marriage and to get advice, but I want the nitty gritty, hard-conversations, and counsel. Accountability, really. Thank you for this! God bless your family <3

[joshuaandjacquelynnjones]

I think if you and your husband don’t have good trust or there has been betrayal in the relationship it is ok to communicate your need to hold off on sexual intimacy. I was told in the past always have sex no matter how you feel. I have learned that just because you’re in a marriage doesn't mean ignore how you feel. Physical intimacy is a boundary over your own body and it’s ok to say “ I need x, y and z to build trust to feel ready to be intimate” A husband should respect this and a wife should be able to listen to her own needs and put up boundaries as needed. I was betrayed by my husband emotionally with my in-laws and our trust was broken. I expressed that I need trust to be built which for me meant follow-through of promises, and certain things that build a safe emotional connection. My husband respected this and we are working towards health. I always thought I had to ignore my own needs and emotions even if I had been treated badly, for the sake of being married. Thus is not healthy.

[sparo_art]

I just want to touch on the sex part, because as you said, to its a heavy topic. I've been with my husband for almost ten years (we're 29). And I do relate to what you say about sex should not be used as a leverage tool with your spouse. It's OK not to want to have sex or be intimate for different reasons (maybe one is sick) but don't use sex as a bargaining chip, it make it very sad and takes away from the beauty of it. I think it's interesting that the Text says that if we both agree, it's okay because it encourages to have these open conversations together :D (sorry this is getting a little long) don't be scared to discuss these matter with the one person you share your life with! I also think that it ties to the first point, about resentment. Like maybe there is some of that that is affecting your view of sex too and it should be resolved before. Maybe it's not about taking the trash, maybe it's about one spouse not honoring the other and it should be a good reason to agree not to have sex until things are better :) (personnaly, we both have anger management issues we have learned to work very well with, and "angry intimacy" is not for us, but once we've worked through our issues, intimacy is full of joy and love again)