My Ex Doesn't Want To Commit But Reaches Out To Me

My Ex Doesn't Want To Commit But Reaches Out To Me

In this episode, relationship coach Clay Andrews talks about what to do when your ex reaches out but doesn't want to commit.

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Is your ex trying to talk to you? Maybe even reaching out and initiating things with you, but they're still not committing to you? This can be really frustrating for a lot of people, because oftentimes you have to come a long way to get to this point.

You have been through a lot of reactance, a lot of the emotional challenges that come with this whole process, just to even get to this point.

However, when you are here, it can feel like you're so close, but your ex just isn't committing. You might be wondering why is this happening? What's holding them back? and What can we do about this? My main advice is to value the EMOTIONAL CONNECTION that you two have and watch the full video to get to my take on this kind of situation.

***** IMPORTANT *****

This is an internet video, and it should be obvious, but this video and other videos on this channel should not be taken as a substitute for the evaluation of a psychologist, therapist, counselor, etc. This video and other videos on this channel are intended for informational uses only, and only reflect the personal opinions of the creator. The creator of this video is not responsible for your actions or choices or the consequences of your actions or choices.

[MaryTongx]

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her

[bitsinit]

My ex is so push and pull. One minute she's telling me I should give up waiting and trying for something that might never happen again but then proceeds in telling me she feels like we belong together and she has strong feelings but is upset because of what happened between us. So enfuriating

[barbersmurff]

Wow the Timing of this video is perfect. My ex’s rebound relationship ended in one of the worse ways possible and it messed her up emotionally and mentally and guess who she called when she needed someone??? Yep ME. It took me months to built her back up because I constantly poured into her. Just recently she told me that she didn’t want to commit to a relationship but she loves our connection especially because we have kids together but I also found out that she was back sleeping with the rebound and was lying to me about it. So now I’m pulling away so that she can’t have access to the connection with me anymore

[Supertzar]

This has been my experience over the last few weeks. I've been getting calls and texts from my ex-girlfriend out of the blue. Mostly she wants to chat and asks about what's going on in my life. She even said we should get together and I agreed. But when I try planning something, she gets wishy washy, say's she'll see how she's feeling the next day. Gets back to me saying she's not feeling well, tired, etc. Hard to get a commitment out of her for just something simple. We haven't seen each other in 2 years.

[stasia]

Great video!! I look forward to watching the other videos in this channel.
This video describes my current situation with my ex. He takes me out to eat every month, buys me gifts, comes to my job monthly and over-tips me, invites me to spend time w/him & his family for bdays & holidays…But, he does not mention getting back into a relationship with me and we have no physical intimacy except for hugs.
This has been going on for a year or so. We broke up 5 years ago after dating for 5 years. My guess is that he has a gf. But, if he does, she is never at any holiday, bday, etc. And both he & his family members say that he is single.
I’ll watch more of these videos and decide when it’s the best time to begin the “Crisis Point Stage”. 🙏🏽

[johnnycalderon]

After 2 weeks of hot and cold and her not commiting to reaching out i asked her not to call or text me anymore unless shes ready to talk about and please respect my space and peace. Its like a game to them. And trust me ppl ull feel alot better once you do this. The limbo they put u in is horrible. No need ti get nasty just let them know hey i need to put me 1st so sorry and hope nt but the best for you goodluck. You cant keep getting emotional invested not knowing what they really thinking and might b screwing yourself over.

[DIYDomTheBuilder]

Hey Clay, I have a suggestion for a video topic (if you by chance haven’t already done it and I missed it somewhere lol).
Obviously, this applies to my situation, but I have to imagine I’m not alone on this one…
What if your ex has broken up with you, but you still have to live together?
Step Further: Due to whatever the circumstances neither of you are in a position to move out anytime soon?
Step further: Even though they “officially” have broken up with you, no dynamic of your shared living situation has actually changed at all (i.e. share same bed, shared expenses, help and support one another with normal daily things), EXCEPT that they’ve informed you that they’ve monkey branched into a rebound LDR (i.e. rich guy from home state they see once a month for a 4 day luxury getaway)

I save the rest of my sob story for another time (but I’ll tell ya, man it’s a doozy!)

[patriciaandjudgey]

Clay can you please do a video on an ex bf that wants to get back together, but wants to tske it slow? Like what they should and shouldn't be doing, and how slow is to slow? We been together 5 years, broke up multiple times, we just got back together after being split up for 6 weeks. Thank you love your videos, I been watching you since you very first started out 😁😁😁😁

[IndiansAuto]

Man, she unblocked me, i reached out and she ignores me. Told her to block me and she did!!! I keep blowing it!!!

[cocoluv]

I'm going through this. I talk and see him almost everyday. He is dating as well as I. However we really don't do fun stuff like movies going out to dinner etc. When I do inquire about doing fun stuff and not just running errands then he says "you are not my girlfriend just my friend " when I did ask if he had a girlfriend he says no. He states he is weighing out his options

[g.charlie]

Hey Clay! First off love all your vids.
So my ex unblocked me after a month and started talking to me again. She initiated wanting to see me, admits she likes spending time with me, said she sees the change I’ve made and how I’m the epitome of the type of man she wants.

BUT she still does not commit. And says how we aren’t getting back together, and eventually we’ll stop talking again.

It’s so confusing. Can I have some insight please?

[terryhunter]

Ex says she doesn't want to get in my way

[issacbarceleau]

She kept texting me telling me she doesn’t want to be with him and wants him to leave her I started to feel like I was just a emotional crutch so I just told her if this isn’t going nowhere then we just needed to be no contact I felt I was just helping her move on from me so now we’re no contact I regret it because I feel like it’s the end but it felt like I was just her emotional crutch did I do the right thing

[eamonnoshea]

Hi Clay. So my and my ex broke up about 5 months ago and recently started hanging out again once or twice a week for maybe the last 2 months, can you talk about when would be the best time for you to have the talk with your ex about trying to starting fresh, please. Thank you

[tattoodfreeek]

My ex just back in contact for the 4th time in about 2 and a half years since splitting up.
Last time, we got close, kissing and so on, then she disappeared.
Then, this weekend, she messaged me saying, "im sorry."
She's said that she has to sort herself out emotionally, but can only talk to me as a friend. I've been honest and told her that i do still have feelings, and I'm not willing to sugarcoat that to make her feel better about things.
I would live to be back with so not a clue how to deal with that

[XenaWarrior]

My ex and I have been getting closer. We've been messaging, joking, flirting, and even spending a little time just hanging out. Even going so far as to be messaging me while hes at work which he hasn't done since therapy days of our relationship years ago. And we'll before our break up. All this after he said we may not be able to truly start over but we can start somewhere. Then all of a sudden last night he tells me he's not doing girlfreinds anymore because of the repeated relationship issues causing stress. But just 2 hours later he messages me a flirty text. Then messages me this morning on his morning break that his sleep was meh.

[rdonan]

My ex has a guy bestfriend who talks bad about me, and convinces her that I’m not the one. They are really close and she considers him family. What do I do, when all she does is listen to her friend and refuses to connect with me

[astplayandlearn]

He talks to me only about the kids n never asks about me n if I ask him if he loves me he says u know the answer! N ignores me, if I need money he gives me but still never calls to ask about me but just kids. He’d do it with me but like nothing happened ! Says we can’t be back n I don’t see him trying !! I don’t get it!

[prachigupta]

My ex is acting really better after around 4 years of breakup
But clearly saying I'm not ready for a girl (anyone) because i can't afford right now....he is actually being so nice towards me, which he wasn't when we were dating.
I am confused because now I'm not looking for something which is casual (from anyone). And specially not with him.
Hi w should I take these mixed signals...what exactly he wants?

[tan_apek]

Hello Clay! Great video indeed

My ex and I broke up around 5 months ago, and it's always me that initiate the conversation and at the end, left on read. Will I look desperate if I continue to start conversations? Or should I do no contact until she reaches out?