InPresence 0050: A Complaint is a Gift

InPresence host, Jeffrey Mishlove, PhD, is author of The Roots of Consciousness, Psi Development Systems, and The PK Man. Between 1986 and 2002 he hosted and co-produced the original Thinking Allowed public television series. He is the recipient of the only doctoral diploma in "parapsychology" ever awarded by an accredited university (University of California, Berkeley, 1980). For many years he served as president of the non-profit Intuition Network, an organization dedicated to creating a world in which all people were supported and encouraged in developing inner intuitive abilities.

Here he discusses the "Complaint is a Gift" philosophy that his spouse, Janelle M. Barlow, has popularized in the world of business customer service. He notes that only one dissatisfied person in eight will even bother to complain. Those who take the time and trouble to complain, and risk being treated rudely, should be thanked for providing useful feedback. He also points out that treating complaints as gifts is just a valuable strategy in one's personal life as it is in business.

(Recorded on March 30, 2018)

[terrytin]

Happy anniversary Mr. & Mrs Mishlove - no complaints at all about your style, opinions or wonderful sense of humanity!

[vladyantonevicz]

Am I the only one who's pressing "like" button before watching JM videos?

[dr-k]

I wish this series was shown everywhere. They are just bite sized pieces of goodness and encouragement, though provoking and knowledge. I always feel like I am learning and growing here and it also makes me happy to see that the audience for this channel is open to change and growth. Thank you Dr. Mishlove for all that you continue to do and congrats on your 40th wedding anniversary this year.

[tinjos]

I've never been bothered by you saying "uh-huh". I love your interview style.

[KazimirArdekanian]

Actually one of the reasons Dr. Mishlove's interviews are very pleasing to watch is because of the ambient inclusive chemistry he creates with the interviewee. 
I always had felt that I am sitting with them. 
For example John Searle was interviewed by both Dr. Mishlove and the late Bryan Magee. 
The interview chemistries with Dr. Mishlove felt inclusive but with Bryan Magee felt exclusive !!
Blessed Bryan Magee's soul for making philosophy available to all.

[Paddyllfixit]

Congrats to you and your beloved on your Ruby Anniversary! She's a lucky lady. I'm sure you're a lucky man too Jeff.

[laurascheffer]

I have always had a problem taking criticism. I guess it was mostly from my Aunt who didn't have anything positive to say to me growing up. I find it is something I have had to work on my whole life. Being able to graciously accept and give criticism is an art as well as a gift. I so appreciate your knowledge and the sharing of it! I feel like I am back at college again in the 70"s.

[briankraemer]

When you say, "Thank you for being with me, " at the end of each video, I can tell you really mean it. Also, I'm convinced you don't just mean, "Thank you for watching this video, " but I hear you also saying, "Thank you for being with me in this experience of life." I feel loved by you even though I've never met you. Thank you also for being with me. :)

[mariamifflin]

Thank you Dr. Mishlove for your knowledge, and for sharing it with us. I worked in the health field for many years, and my employers always trained us, that no matter what the patients "complaint is" you, the care giver would give them the reason. Once again thank you. Blessings

[fhinntimmons]

This is sound advice that I need to apply to my artwork, and my job, and my personal life! I'm going to think about this the next time I get hot under the collar from a complaint - "A complaint is a gift"...

[ColleenSikel]

I have so much respect and admiration for you; as a matter of fact, I think more than anyone I know. Thank you for continuing to make these videos.

[semichiganandy]

The interesting thing about your "uh-huh's" is that I never noticed them. I've always admired your interview style. As for listening to complaints, I've seen people ruin their lives because of an unwillingness to listen to complaints or suggestions. Here's a comment in the other direction - don't be afraid to put in a good word about another person. Positive feedback can make another person realize that what they're doing is worthwhile and change a bad day into a good one. It can have a positive ripple effect.

[johnpaul]

Thought-provoking, as always, Jeff. You're a very good interviewer, one of the best, because you clearly care about your guests and their ideas. Melvyn Bragg is another of the best. Some of the most famous are among the worst, for various reasons. Thanks again.

[gregoryx]

You're the best! I love your "okays" and "mhmms" in an interview but idk the rules of the trade lol

[peggyharris]

I need to present my 'gifts' more attractively.

[benbishop]

Such fascinating guests I hadn't really noticed the sounds you were making, uh huh and such. I like your style and the only criticism I've had is about the lighting but it looks just fine here.

[LaughingStock]

My only complaint is that the InPresence video playlist contains a few errors:
* video numbers 39 and 40 have been interchanged
* there are normal NTA videos inserted after number 60 and 62 (both by Jason Reza Jordani)
Everything else is just perfect! :-)

[MerrySuu]

When teaching students as a graduate student myself, I asked for anonymous feedback via a form. Two of my favorite responses in the same quarter came from two different students.
1.) You talk too slow.
2.) You talk too fast.

😀

[johnpaul]

I've made a couple of "comments" here that still haunt my conscience. Although I meant what I said, my tone and attitude were unduly critical and too harsh, and I apologize for that. (And while I'm on the subject, may I suggest a video on the apology, a favorite subject of mine. Some people have said I apologize too often, but I think we ought to apologize more.)

[Flanalb]

From your mouth to the ears of management!
The feedback forms one gets from businesses appear often to be used as a sort of punishment mechanism on the employees. I have been told numerous times by employees that the only evaluation that is of any use to them is "excellent", implying (or even outright stating) that they will have some sort of negative consequence if they receive a less-than-excellent evaluation. This not only makes the entire process a big waste of time, but it reinforces Type-A management styles that emphasize top-down, dominator-hierarchy thinking. We already are plagued with these outmoded templates; in the end, they seem to drive wide-spread dissatisfaction in the work-place, mis-trust among people, and a large-scale sense of isolation. (Enough hyphenated ranting, Michael)((saving someone time from having to reply with a criticism)).