InPresence 0053: The Secret of Happiness

InPresence host, Jeffrey Mishlove, PhD, is author of The Roots of Consciousness, Psi Development Systems, and The PK Man. Between 1986 and 2002 he hosted and co-produced the original Thinking Allowed public television series. He is the recipient of the only doctoral diploma in "parapsychology" ever awarded by an accredited university (University of California, Berkeley, 1980). For many years he served as president of the non-profit Intuition Network, an organization dedicated to creating a world in which all people were supported and encouraged in developing inner intuitive abilities.

Here he maintains that happiness need not be dependent upon the external circumstances of one's life. In fact, surveys have shown that the happiest people do not necessarily come from the wealthiest countries. The secret to happiness is a commitment that one makes to oneself. It is very similar to the self-love affirmation presented in InPresence 0002. Once one is committed to finding happiness in all circumstances, various strategies for so doing are available for dealing with the inevitable ups and downs of life.

(Recorded on April 2, 2018)

To download an edited English transcript of InPresence 0053, go to

[leslietaylor]

In my 20s I was waiting on tables in bars so I could pursue a career as artist during the daytime. I hated working in bars and was not at all happy with the situation. Then I read what you've suggested here that just to smile actually makes a person feel happier. So I tried it and it did work. I even told others to try it. Thanks for the helpful reminder (cause I forgot). And, congratulations on 40 years of marriage - impressive!

[KazimirArdekanian]

Thank you Dr. Mishlove for this pointer! This talk reminded me √ of Viktor Frankl's book "Man's search for Meaning". 
(The part in which he is describing what he felt by seeing the sunset light through a slit in a wall in Auschwitz while Nazis had taken everything from them).

[mpgallogly]

Thank you Jeffrey Mishlove for everything you do! This topic needs to be addressed more. Making a commitment with myself as well :)

[ferndawg]

One of the best and most inspiring of this series so far... Thank you Jeffrey!

[marthaadf]

! Jeffrey Mishlove: To people can do this kind of choice, they need first do wake-up, literally, because already exists different kinds of human beings, and despite our efforts, they just don't choose goodness and mutual respect. This one who is writing understands the message.

[grangegorman]

Feeling the power of the magical oath. The tricks and tactics come when you have an aim.

[AnthrYrslf]

Thank you. I wouldn't trade one experience for another', no amount of money can replace. I am happy about that and hope everyone else has felt the same, good and bad

[Skunkhunt_]

Thank you sir, you videos new and old have been and continue to be valuable and exciting trinkets of wisdom and experience

[mattphi]

Great video again Jeffery! Always cheers me up to hear your insight. I'm smilng!

[ravenlyons]

Like self-love and faith, happiness is a choice. There is very little you need to be happy.

[cagedgreed]

I think the majority of self-aware waitstaff and barstaff will say something at least a little similar to what you're saying here. I've experimented and turned entire restaurants back and forth between happy and convivial and angry and rude and back to happy within minutes just with my own attitude as a waiter. It affects everyone around you, even if you aren't communicating verbally. It's not a kind experiment, but it is easy to duplicate, if you're in a service industry, anyhow. Oh, and I've often been called, "happy-go-lucky" despite suffering from chronic depression.

[tewtravelers]

I'm married to a filipina woman. She has taught me a lot about being happy...of course, she has her ups and downs too.
I need to focus on smiling more. With a couple combat tours into Iraq, my mind goes to dark places often. I notice that when I smile, it does make a difference.

[LaughingStock]

No, I do not strive for happiness, and I don't remember any time or situation when I did. For me, the notion of "happiness" always comes with negative associations like repugnance, phoniness and self-deception. What is worse is that I have not the slightest idea what it would be like or how it should be like to be happy. Not to mention the state of being "happy forever". So, in essence, "happiness" is nothing but an empty word to me that I find that I am hearing it mentioned by other people way too frequently. What I rather strive for is becoming successively more alert, aware and sensitive of my surroundings and what's going on inside me; successively more serene and less agitated and stressed; successively more concentrated on what I am doing and thinking right here right now without getting distracted; successively more dispassionate about things that don't deserve to be passionate about (which tend to get increasingly less in number over time); and successively more content with what I have, do and am. Unlike the blurry notion of "happiness", for all this I can pretty well know, with an appropriate level of mindfulness, at any time and in any situation, where I stand, what is still not so well working, and how I can improve a little further.

[Paddyllfixit]

@4:22, and honouring the spirit in others no matter what they think, say, or do.

[tfsheahan]

Several decades ago I read of a study that asked the participants what yearly income it would take to guarantee they would be secure. Almost universally the figure was 50% more than their current income. If they earned $20, 000, it was 30, 000. If they earned $100, 000, they felt that it would take $150, 000 to make them feel secure enough to be happy. Then they could stop worrying about the future. Funny how that works, isn't it?

[queensistastarot]

"The Happiness Factor" by Kirk Wilkerson my fellow bookworm 💖

[alcosmic]

What, in all the world, could bring the greatest happiness?
"...to crush your enemies, to see them fall at your feet — to take their horses and goods and hear the lamentation of their women. That is best."
As quoted in Genghis Khan: The Emperor of All Men (1927) by Harold Lamb, Doubleday, p. 107.

[Flanalb]

There are a number of different approaches to happiness, as you suggest. Countless videos from Abraham-Hicks, for instance; also Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev. Aside from the psychotherapeutic approaches to learning happiness ( and unlearning unhappiness ) and the commitment that will lead to one's finding it, there is the "pursuit of happiness" that is related to some sense of success in the perceptual/physical world that has been derived from the statements in the Declaration of Independence. (Should we have a Declaration of Individuation?)
Intention - as it is discussed by Stephan Schwartz or Wayne Dyer - appears to be an important ingredient in that sort of happiness; but your admonition to be happy no-matter-what can be the stop-loss for the intention that is not fulfilled. That intention usually seems to be taken to be an individually-derived direction in one's personal life; but the group intention can be an alternative interpretation. Either way, there is a sense of separation (how different from individuation?) and opposition to some momentum of the universe, against the background of which the intention figures to achieve
But if one is happy no matter what, then there is no need for intention, except to be happy. Then, there is no need for independence or individual (group) will, and we can just be happy with life however it presents itself to us. No struggle, no pursuit, no unhappiness. The roots of suffering are cut. No attachment, no aversion.
No?

[LiaMari]

Happiness is a decision.
Once we’ve experienced
Some life,
We see that what made us
Miserable one day
Turned out to be cause for
Celebration the next,
{Or sometimes the other way round.

Happiness is a decision we make
As the good, the bad, and the obscure,
Fly all around us.

[gutinstinct]

I'm also that I thumbed down this dross and left =-) <----see happy LOL