This Doctor Wants to Humanize Death | Op-Docs

If losing a child to an illness is one of the worst things that can happen to a family, Dr. Nadia Tremonti has made it her mission to make it better.

It’s not easy. But as a pediatric palliative care physician, she works to ensure that terminally ill children receive quality end-of-life care. Palliative care is sometimes misunderstood to shorten life expectancy, but it’s a method that increases quality of life, improves symptom burden and decreases medical costs. We follow Dr. Tremonti in John Beder's "Dying in Your Mother's Arms" as she works to make death less medical and more human. In the process she asks a critical question: When a child is terminally ill, how can we make the end of life a better one?

More from The New York Times Video:
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[qojhmnt]

When my husband was dying none of the doctors would tell me he was dying, even though I had to fly our children from Alaska to California. It was a nurse who finally took me aside and whispered that it was time to get them on a plane. Had she not done that they would never have said goodbye to their father. Thank you to all the people in this video, you are heroes.

[actsoflove]

When my husband was dying, one doctor wouldn't say the word "die." I was so relieved when our main doctor came in and said "Your husband is going to die, probably in 3 days. Because he is young, it will take a few days for his organs to shut down." I will be FOREVER grateful to that doctor who spoke the truth. It helped my kids and myself process his, my husband's, death. To the families who let us in, thank you for showing your humanity. Thank you NYT for this Op-Docs. No one is every ready!

[tracydoverspike]

Twenty years ago this summer, we lost our twins. We had a doctor who was so kind and gentle, and he gave us the strength to let nature takes its course. Death doesn't have to be scary.

[LaviniaDeMortalium]

People who professionally deal with death, and aren't afraid of being honest with you, are invaluable. The loss is hard enough, but the gaslighting I've received from medical staff is downright traumatizing. I love what this woman is doing. Being honest about death, being prepared for death before it happens, has a wonderfully healing aspect to it.

[seaottersarecute]

Also worth noting that this doctor is in Detroit and caring for some of the most underserved moms and families in the country. Everyone deserves this kind of care.

[JLili]

She’s a palliative care physician for dying children. That must be one of the toughest jobs on the planet. I would cry everyday.

[jaycie.m]

“I don’t want a medical death, I want a human death.”

That’s a powerful statement.

[SG-uqyc]

"I'd want to die in my mom's arms. There's no place more filled with unconditional love." This doctor's answer for how she'd want to die was so sweet, yet powerful. She'd want to live healthily to 100, but she'd magically turn back into a baby in her mother's arms at the end. 😢 I think for some faith-based perspectives, this is why people make analogies to dying in God's presence or his arms. Everyone wants that final comfort, security & unconditional love. (Now excuse me while I go cry & reflect on that for the next hour).

[breanakelly]

As hard as it can be to accept, I believe that terminally ill people should be able to pass on in a painless and peaceful death, instead of being put on ventilators to keep them alive whilst the patient and family are in pain. This doctor is absolutely amazing and we need more people like her

[izzieluv]

I love when she talks about how she would like to die. It makes me feel much more at peace about my son's death. His life was so incredibly short, only 38 hours. But he died in my arms, with family around us. All he knew was love and warmth.

[easternlights]

When my grandma was in the hospital with lung cancer, the doctors knew she wasn't going to make it. It was so bad they didn't even try chemo. But they didn't tell either her husband or her daughter (my mother) or her son. The shock when we got the phone call that she passed was horrible, because I genuinely thought she was gonna live. It was unfair to give us false hope.

[sprousehouse]

I LOVE when she said “do you think the reason the family is having a hard time understanding is because you can’t even say it!”

[Beardblade]

I am a father that lost a son in 2011. His name was Lincoln. He was a good boy. I was lucky to have him for 3 months and a day. I miss him. This woman is a blessing.

[kirstron]

"id love to live to 100 and have everyone around me be healthy, and then id like to magically turn back into a baby and die in my moms arms. theres no better comfort and unconditional love than a mothers arms..." that broke me.

[daniellamller]

I always thought it was weird that we could just put animals down, when they suffered, but human beings are always kept alive as long as their body allows, no matter how much they are suffering. I wish we could be a little more humane in that area also.

[cl]

My baby spent 3 weeks in the NICU, and at one point was the sickest baby on the unit. I was so grateful to the doctor who was very honest with us. She didn't pretend it was going to be fine. She warned us that we could very well lose him. It gave us a chance to really spend time with him and focus on him and the time we had.

We were the lucky ones. He made it through that first night, and slowly got better. He was the miracle. He's 7 months old now, and still, every moment we have together is precious to us.

The people who do this work are angels. If you can donate to your local NICU, do so. They're wonderful people.

[Liliththelizard]

On a happy note: my son was born at 23 weeks, he's 3 months old now, and just got of his oxygen in the NICU, he's getting ready to come home in the next week or so.

[biancat]

Thank you to the families who allowed people to film them in their worst moments. Your contribution is appreciated and respected. Your angels are resting in peace x

[JayDub]

This is so powerful.The statement “you’re a good mom” filled me with so much love and emotion- I cannot imagine how important it was for her to hear that.

[jacquelynschrot]

I have been fortunate enough to work with Dr Tremonti for the past ten years. She does an amazing job for her patients.