How autistics show affection

Pack with me while I share some common autistic love languages and how they show up in my life! A lot of autistic and neurodivergent people show and express their love differently. If you are autistic what are some of your love languages? Let me know in the comments down below

TIME STAMPS
00:00 - 00:57 Introduction
00:58 - 01:36 Love languages into
01:37 - 02:48 Parallel play
02:49 - 04:51 Respecting schedules and routines
04:512 - 06:14 romantic partner accommodations
06:15 - 08:05 Info dumping
08:06 - 09:15 Packing
09:16 - 10:23 Memorizing details about others
10:24 - 14:33 Feeling unloved
14:34 - 15:43 Travel errands
15:44 - 18:01 Sharing my special interest
18:02 - 18:48 Outro

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ABOUT ME
Hello, for those of you that dont know me my name is Morgan. I am a 22 year old late diagnosed autistic ADHDer from Massachusetts. I am sharing my life on social media in an effort to advocate for autism awareness and break down the stigma surrounding autism and ADHD. I mostly talk about neurodivergent stuff but I also make lifestyle and travel content.

[HannahFields]

Parallel play reminds me of old couples in movies who sit in silence together, one reading, one knitting, or similar, and exchange an occasional smile or pat on the hand.

[erbearthgarden]

'You are not showering me with love; you are showering me with anxiety." - I want to yell this sometimes when I am overwhelmed.

[SteveGameSDG]

If I'm in the same room, whether or not I talk to you, that's love. I don't just sit in the room with anyone.

[chasechamberlain]

I love how your love language is literally treat people how you want to be treated!

[poppitron]

FUCK hearing “Infodumping is a love language” actually broke me because everyone around me treats it like it’s a character flaw that needs to be fixed or regulated. I’m told it’s exhausting and I feel like I’m being treated like a burden but realising it’s actually my way of showing love and it’s being dismissed and actively forced out of me is just… I think I’m gonna cry.

[marinakukso]

My partner is autistic and it took a long time for me to realize that they were happy sitting in silence for hours every day. I thiught they didn't want to talk to me, or weren't interested in me, or were just silently resentful of our relationship. It felt really lonely to me because I didn't know why they never wanted to talk to me. Anyway, it got easier when I learned that this was comfortable for many autistic folks, and it wasn't personal.

[eyalguz]

Yeah, info-dumping is a sure sign that I like someone. If I don't like you, I will not even acknowledge your existence, but if I like you I will always be looking for you and will always talk to you and share all the things you never wanted to know. Needless to say, it doesn't always end well...
The parallel play is another big one. If I get comfortable enough around you to just quietly do my thing, I definitely like you.

[davidhand]

That parallel play bit _really_ resonates with me. Girlfriends invariably think I lose interest after a while, but I'm really just relaxing my guard out of trust. That's _every_ relationship I've ever had.

[sarahreid]

My husband used to say that our love language was academic articles... we are both neuro-divergent he is ADHD I am ASD and we both have CPTSD and we both deep dive into information and want to see the receipts for ideas and theories rather than hear someone's opinion. We also both get really excited about interesting things and information and so we noticed that other couples send sexy messages or hugs and kisses and we sent peer-reviewed literature to one another. :D

[Alterragen-sgod]

I have to admit, sometimes I send my friends to your videos just so they can understand me more. You always put the exact words Im always trying to express and I thank you for that.

[joeboxter]

1. Quality Time is "parallel play."
2. Respect. No surprises.
3. Info dumping*
4. Memorize likes and dislikes.

@6:33

* "Sometimes I stop listening to myself." Much success in your life and career. Be well.

[oogrooq]

I'm not diagnosed but these resonate with me. One thing I'd add is "speaking the truth, however brutal". Or maybe "being as straight forward as possible". It saves time and I don't have to try to interpret anything.

[Kejoin]

Love your content! My Autistic love languages include infodumping and parallel play as well, but also include penguin-pebbling where I share info nuggets and small gifts with my loved ones about things that I know they enjoy/remind me of them; including pictures, videos, memes, and just random info I researched.

[forthebigwin]

I've learned with my autistic partner that Parallel Play is essentially Quality Time. While the definition in the book is centered more around undivided attention and mutual activity + conversation, I've definitely resonated with your experience.

In the beginning it made me anxious with us sitting in silence, and it made her anxious feeling that she needed to mask and fill the silence with constant stimulus for me, but once I learned and fully understood how much peace and affection she feels and conveys just being able to fully relax and coexist with me, my heart instantly warmed.

I adore just being with her and enjoying each others passive presence as we go about our tasks and hobbies. Neither of us feel pressure anymore, and the silence no longer fills me with dread or worry, it fills me with love just as it does for her.

[MDWLRK]

Every time I doubt my having autism, you post a friggin video and I’m like, “Yep. That’s me.” I’m also learning to understand fellow autistics in a different way even though we might not share similar issues/hyperfixations/etc.

One of my love languages is gift giving tbh, but I try to pick something I KNOW they can’t dislike. I always feel like it’s not appreciated though so I stopped doing it which is a bummer. But also listening and words of affirmation while allowing them to vent and get angry bc it’s not directed towards me and I know that’s something I need sometimes. Back in 2013, I desperately needed to vent when I came home from work but my mom thought I was somehow mad at her. I wasn’t and I’d tell her I wasn’t. I’m just venting, (probably a meltdown tbh) and panicking. 🤷‍♀️ We love you, Morgan! Hope you’re enjoying your trip!!! Stay safe! Praying only good things for you!

[mattw-cx]

In addition to some of the ones you listed I like to show my affection by trying to give advice in solving their problems, whether they ask for it or not. The effort is not always appreciated. I often don't realize that some people just want to vent and be heard and that's all. I love your vlogs!

[BrandonCostlow]

So. I'm pretty sure I could be autistic, based on the opinions of others I greatly respect. My wife has childhood trauma. We are both SO happy with parallel play. She doesn't want "passion" and I don't want the stress of trying to identify social norms for being romantic or whatever. We also both enjoy the info dumps. I walk in the door and she just lets me have it because she has anxieties she wants to vent about her day, then I wait until we're in bed to dump on her because my monotone rambling helps her get to sleep.😂 We were absolutely made for each other. 😅

[Aeternus_Nox]

I'm neurotypical, and I had a neurotypical FWB who loved what you described as parallel play.

She was heavily introverted, but she felt lonely when actually alone, so she really liked to do things at the same time but not actually doing something together or talking.

For her, actually actively engaging would drain her social battery, so it was a way to be able to recharge without feeling alone.

[Shaun_rennycinq]

Omg you have literally just explained half of me.

I'm happy to be discovering these details and able to make more sense of myself 😊

[shelplussourdough]

12:02 This is so sweet. I'm very similar, Morgan. I love small details and feel so loved when people remember me.