r/AITA | I BANNED MY FRIENDS FROM MY WEDDING!!! - Reddit Stories

Reddit rSlash Storytime r amithejerk? where AITA for banishing my teenage daughter's friend from our house because she made fun of my weight? AITA for telling my brother off when he berated my daughter for not changing her cousin's diaper? WIBTA for taking my daughter to visit my family? AITA for using a joke about sexuality to imply my coworker’s “boundary” with her boyfriend is stupid? AITA for telling my stepmother she's not the most important woman in my life? AITA for throwing out a strange lady that entered my house uninvited AITA for telling my dad's wife I own the house she lives in? AITA for not giving any of my grandparents inheritance to my father's wife? AITA for how I fought my boyfriend's medical bill, going "too far"? AITA for last minute uninviting multiple people from my wedding over a 'joke'? AITA for how I responded to my SIL’s prank?

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Credit:
Author's names will be said before story, unless it's been sent to us and they've asked to include their name.

Story 1 00:00
Story 2 02:48
Story 3 04:44
Story 4 07:23
Story 5 10:27
Story 6 13:45
Story 7 14:46
Story 8 17:40
Story 9 19:19
Story 10 22:49
Story 11 25:38

[Martynde]

if it were not possible to get the hospital bill dropped then no amount of threatening and harassment would have succeeded. Op did what she needed to do.

[motrwithmary]

Story one, the mom is probably one reason her kid doesn’t have friends. Be a damned adult and just be glad your daughter has one friend, YTA.

[estebanzadok]

1. I think so, the girl realised she said something inproper so i think its ok to let it go
2. The brother is in the wrong, your kid your responsability
3. Yeah, he is the jerk
4. Not the jerk, she asumed and the joke was spot on
5. Never take the whole family to terapy, do it in pairs. Not the jerk
6. I would shoot them
7. I agre
8. No
9. No, they deserve it
10. No, they deserve it
11. Never mess around with fobias

[marylowther]

Story nine: I am totally in love with OP, who fights for justice root hog and or die. Her ungrateful boyfriend is unworthy of her.

[Guyonnn]

Hospital story: op is not the jerk and her man is an idiot. What guy wouldn’t want to have some bad ass girl that is willing to go to bat for him?

[stephanien]

8:46 um… having a boundary about not having friends of the opposite sex is the OPPOSITE of having a deeper level of trust. If you truly trust your partner, you would not need such a rule!

[crispycrimson]

Story 4: the workplace isn't a place to talk about sexuality anyway...

Your right, don't talk to me

[kiddfaith]

Ah yes, another case of “how dare you didn’t tell me every little detail about yourself so I wouldn’t say something embarrassing”, Lol.

[TheAthens]

If my SO was pissed me lowering their medical bill, i would have then retracted and asked for the bill to be returned to the original price saying there was a misunderstanding

[merlinathrawes]

Weight joke story: NAH! But her friend did make a mistake she hasn't owned up to yet. I think OP should get over it and allow the friend to come back over, but be on the watch for more poor behavior. Who knows, given that some time has lapsed, maybe she'll come forth with an apology on her own.

Not changing diaper story: ESH! Brother either should have asked daughter, offering to pay her, ahead of time BEFORE the meeting to care for the baby during the meeting or he should be hiring a sitter, the daughter is not free help. I can see the daughter being "uncomfortable" about it, but really, has she never babysat or changed a diaper before? And a small favor in exchange for a place to live isn't unreasonable, but should have been discussed prior. OP, I see your point, but you need to realize you and your daughter are GUESTS in your brother and his gf's home. If you're no longer welcome, regardless of the reason(s), they have every right to kick you out. Apologies are needed all the way around, but still may not be enough to save the situation.

Taking daughter to step/parents house story: Yes, OP, you WBTA if you do this. Your wife is exactly right. THEY have not apologized nor have THEY made any effort to come see your daughter since her birth. I would not blame your wife for grabbing you daughter and going to her parent's home or a friend's home, if you insist on this. You need to apologize and reassure your wife you won't do this. Given all this drama with your parents, why do you even allow them to feel like they're winning with you over your wife? This is not healthy!

"Unwanted" stepmother story: NTA! Stepparents should NEVER try to take over a deceased parent's role unless the child/children involved are too young to actually have memories of the deceased parent. Doing so almost never works and usually results in hurt feelings on someone's part. Jani sounds incredibly needy. She and dad aren't being reasonable about this.

[Guyonnn]

Baby change story: I think op is the jerk. They are staying in this house for free and the guy asked her for one favor, just one. This wasn’t constant behavior, this wasn’t the guy taking advantage of their situation, he asked her for one favor, and while I guess technically she doesn’t have to, I still feel it is the least she could do.

[schattizuvivene]

Medical bill story: for me being an European, 5grand is absolutely ridiculous. I don't pay ANYTHING for going to the hospital.
This year in March I had to call an ambulance to the hospital, bc i was almost dying from pain. Turned later out to be an ovarian cyst, wich wanted to take a nice turn 🥴 had an emergency operation, and stayed about 2 days, bc i wasnt feeling well enough to go home. Later got a 'bill' and i had to pay about 40€ for staying 2 days at the hospital. Like, food, new (hospital) clothes bc I threw up twice, and so on. Nothing more, nothing less.

So...i really understand OP going all the way up to find someone responsible, and lessen that bill. 26$ is nothing. Cant really understand OP's bf, flipping out.
I mean...there must be ppl going into homelessness, and poverty bc they can't afford medical treatment.. poor america.

[Martynde]

i think the wife wanted half of the house in some upcoming divorce (not mentioned in the story) and she was annoyed that OP's father did not own the house.

[qnkendra]

with the badly landed work joke. I am constantly amazed at how many people who fit societal norms but know that our society has variations get so bent when their "normal" is revealed to be awkward. I happen to fit many of those norms as a cis/ hetro/ monogamous individual but I've always had friends of varying genders. When I was younger and more open to pressure I allowed past partners to ruin my opposite sex friendships because of their insecurity. My current partner and I both have friends of varying genders and we agree that if we are uncomfortable we talk with each other. One we can both miss social cues of attraction and two even if they are there it's not like either of us are going to act on outside attractions. I think at it's core not wanting your partner to be friends with someone of the gender they are attracted to is about not thinking they have the discernment to see the opportunity to cheat and not act on it. If you see people as people not sex objects a lot of this confusion goes away. I've made equally bad work/ social jokes because well I can be mean sometimes and I get sick of toxic societal norms. I don't want to have sex with every close male friend I have to me without attraction there is little difference between them and my female friends. And I'm so glad my friends don't follow this ridiculous rule since I have friends all over the 'rainbow' so mostly we just joke that those who aren't only attracted to one gender would just be lonely.

[aliemwuah]

Story 2:

- NTA. You as a parent cannot expect ANYONE let alone a new adult to care for your child.

[merlinathrawes]

House ownership story: NTA! Quite frankly I think dad is the primary AH for not telling his wife who actually owns the home and why. It's never a good idea keeping secrets, especially big secrets, in a marriage. Dad goofed by doing this, but his wife doesn't sound like much of a gem, either.

Grandparent's inheritance story: NTA! Really Steven, you don't get why OP has a problem with a stepmother who is only 2 years older than her 27 year old stepdaughter? While OP didn't say specifically, since bio-mom is still in the picture, I'm betting that stepmother is the result of an affair. Any takers?

Medical bill story: NTA! I don't know what OP's bf is bitching about. I wouldn't have gone up the chain as far as OP did before contacting the state's hospital licensing board, complaining to the insurance company about fraudulent billing, contacting the state's attorney general's office about fraudulent billing and the local news outlets about the situation and leaving various online reviews.

Uninvited from wedding story: ABSOLUTELY NTA! The reasons why speak for themselves. "Nuff said!

Cat "prank" story: NTA! Phobia's are unfortunately real, regardless of if they are caused by an "incident" or not. OP, you've been stellar even going to a house where a cat lives for the sake of your children's relationship with their aunt. She crossed a line, not only with her "prank" but for encouraging your children to ask you for a pet cat. She owes you a huge apology for this and the other family members need to stay the hell out of it.

[michellewest]

story 4: As a fellow bisexual, there are no friends. Only prey.
honestly, though, the coworker has things bass ackwards. Not letting your partner have friends of the opposite gender is NOT a sign of "greater trust" but instead an absence of trust. If you really trusted them, you wouldn't be afraid to let them have friends. Also, there is no "setting up for failure" in a friendly conversation. If I were caught in a wrong assumption, I would probably blush, laugh, and apologize for the assumption. Doubling down and accusing them of sabotaging them by not immediately coming out to prevent future misunderstandings, then claiming that sexuality shouldn't be discussed in the workplace to begin with are all red flags and I'd be realizing that I don't want to be friends with someone like that. Especially when there was the same amount of detail given about both the straight relationship and the bi relationship. "I don't let my boyfriend have friends who are girls" and "My girlfriend and I have friends of both genders" are the same level of "sexuality" discussion in the workplace, i.e. none.

[daisychain]

Then, one can counter that it's also NOT the brother's "responsibility" to house his sister and 18 y.o. niece. It _is_ however THE RIGHT THING TO DO, as we _are_ our brother's keeper! It BOGGLES the mind that she and her daughter wouldn't be FALLING all over themselves to help their brother/uncle (respectively) and his gf in any way they could, to lessen any and all pressure that bro/uncle and gf may be under.

It would take the tiniest effort from the niece, for her to learn the basics of caring for _her own_ niece, so that she could offer to babysit her on occasion - e.g., 1-2 times per week, and to be able to help on those odd rare occasions, when they find themselves in a pickle, without cover. The niece should also be helping around the house, looking out for chores that are outside of the usual weekly list, and taking the initiative to get them done as an ongoing project, whilst also attending to her share of the weekly list.

The sister should be doing everything I've outlined for the niece, and MORE!! She should be insisting upon cooking family dinner twice per week, for example, and finishing up a few other, simple but effective ways of alleviating the extra strain that having long-term houseguests brings. Further, she should be checking in with her bro and his SO, to be sure that she only "helps" in ways that they genuinely find to be a help. People are different; what one person considers a relief, is onerous to another. Sissy and niece are both old enough to be conscientious and considerate of this!

Behaving as I've outlined for mother and daughter, is called, quite simply, being a DECENT AND MORAL houseguest.

I've a fabulous and kind voice teacher. She lets me stay with her and her equally incredible voice coach hubby, in NYC, whilst I take lessons from them both. It would be FAR, FAR, FAR more difficult to raise the money for these weeks to months long trips, if I also had to pay for my living accommodations.

Hence, when I stay, I do the dishes, and tidy the kitchen every night. I cook dinner whenever they allow me to do so. I take on light secretarial duties for them and their business. I run any errands they'd like, I give her a nice little back/arm rub in the evening (she suffers from pain/stiffness, as her work requires her to sit in one position for long hours each day), along with a few other tasks... They're very careful not to ask too much of me, but they kindly allow me to help a bit, here and there.

Even if they weren't helping me financially by providing me with a place to stay, I would do the same any time that I'm a guest in someone's home. And, indeed I do, and have. It's the polite, caring, and courteous way to behave!!

[Martynde]

This is why I don't think what is currently referred to as homophobia and transphobia should be listed as phobias. Phobias like the one in the story should be respected and acknowledged. No exceptions. Don't put a person with an actual phobia in a situation which will trigger their phobia no matter how much you think it is dumb, inappropriate or offensive.

Obviously "homophobia" and "transphobia" is not the same as the OP's phobia of cats. Those aren't real phobias. So everybody should stop referring to them as phobias. Continuing to do so just diminishes the seriousness of actual phobias.

[AshenTechDotCom]

btw, anybody who ends up in the situation with somebody talking about sexuality/relationships/etc, then gets offended like this, you need to hit up HR and report the issue first... before they go to HR and try and get you fired.. CYA, CoverYourAss...