cleaning my depression room and taking care of myself [mellow vlog]

hello frens of the internet :)
Depression can manifest differently for everyone and can look different depending on the season of your life. I hope that anyone struggling with their mental health does not compare what my mental health looks like to theirs. Especially since this video does not capture accurately what I go through. We all battle and navigate through it uniquely. I do hope that this can serve as some encouragement and a gentle reminder to take care of yourself in any way. Starting small like drinking enough water for the day, because sometimes that is the best we can do. This was a more light hearted mellow video, but perhaps in future videos I’ll share more about my mental health journey.
Thank you for showing up to life today, just as you are

I wanted to share that I’m not religious but I fully respect and honor all religions, as I believe there are many principle values and truths we can take from those sacred texts and apply to our lives if we choose to do so. My interpretation of God is not assigned to one religion, rather, I view God as a force of unconditional love. Regardless, the poem I read is one that can touch the heart of all beings, no matter if you are religous or not. Interpret it for how you want it to resonate with you and leave the rest behind. it’s all Love ❤️

Spotify: lydiafu123
letterboxd: tofusworld
Tiktok: 3ternalrebirth

*I don’t own any of the rights to the songs I used except the last song I played on the guitar*

[Obsidiancrochet]

Everytime I slip back into a bad depressive episode I come back and watch this video I don’t know why but it’s extremely comforting. Thank you for helping me

[kesikae]

I don't really comment on social media, but this resonated with me so deeply, especially the part about returning to unhealthy habits after you've been around family for extended periods of time. Watching this was like watching myself last week- finding by (seeming) accident a small part of someone's life so similar to yours shared is such a profound connection. Thank you for sharing this, stranger. I wish you all the best and I hope your struggles lessen. Take care <3

[jaxli]

I started tearing up when you showed that photo you keep of your younger self as a reminder of who you're talking to when speaking unkindly to yourself. What a great reminder to keep. I realize I might not be able to change the past, but that doesn't mean it has to keep following me in the form of sniping, uncharitable self-criticism. Thank you; this was a lovely video for you to share.

[kitkat]

dude sleeping as a way to avoid everything is so fucking relatable. thanks for sharing :' )

[lalulu]

09:08 plase I broke into tears
just days ago a found a video saying something like "the person you are right now is the person you would've felt safe with as a kid" I just want her to be happy, safe and complete.
Thank you so much for this video.

[zahraaahmed]

I just love how this video is so realistic and we all can relate to it

[maryevans]

i had a horrible couple of days to the point that I didn't get out of bed until 6pm today and i figured i would go sit in my chair instead and go on my laptop instead of my phone (baby steps) this was the first video that came up in my recommended and it is exactly what I'm going through today. it helped a lot, i really needed this thank you <3

[EternalRebirth]

the poem I read is from the book “The Gift” by Hafiz
it’s truly such a wonderful collection of poems by a 13th century Persian poet :)

[edit: I want to acknowledge that I’m aware my depression room is very mild in this video. My room truly has seen so much messier, and it just so happened that when I decided to film this video my room wasn’t that cluttered. I actually was debating if I should make it more “messy” so it was more realistic for how my room usually looks when I’m deep in a depressive episode, but I chose to keep it the way it is because that is what my room truly looked liked at that time. Please do not compare how your depression looks to mine, especially since this video doesn’t accurately capture the totality of what my depression can look like. Wherever you’re at on your mental health journey and whatever that looks like for you is so valid and so lovable ❤]

[pixelzebra]

I cried during this. This might seem like just a calm video to some but I realized the pain that you’ve been going through is like mine. You were able to not give up and truly give it your all and it’s inspiring. It’s truly hurts me that you also seem like an amazing person who’s super beautiful and no one should have to go through this. You might have inspired me to clean my disaster of a room that could take a month to clean. When you read the poem your voice was so soft and comforting and the poem you shared was truly beautiful. I know you probably won’t see this, but from the bottom of my heart, thank you for this little bit of paradise.

[schiiiler]

I do love the fact that now people are more interested in realistic videos then in videos with high quality, expensive picture and etc. Nowadays such videos are aprecciated.
While watching this, I felt so calm and peaceful, I often try to find something like that to relax. Thank you!

[Neekachu]

I struggle with self depricating thoughts and your idea to keep a photo of you as a child to remind yourself that's who you're talking to struck such a chord with me. Because I couldn't imagine myself saying those things to her, but here I am! I might try that myself. Lots of love and prayers for your journey!

[ayysura]

i know this is just your cleaning and self care … but god this video is beautiful and almost made me cry. i want you to know you are not alone, and when hard times come, please PLEASE don’t give up… you are a lovely soul. take care ❤

[jaky]

This made me go into tears because of how raw and real this video is for me. Everything that you bring up about making your bed, doing laundry and cleaning takes so much effort for any one that suffers from depression…

[Taiga_]

I watch this video every time I need motivation. I have no idea why, but this video gives me so much comfort. ❤️

[lostavenue]

This found me at the right time, I’ve been going through another depression slump these past few weeks, and I especially relate about using sleep as a coping mechanism. But I think I’m ready to start trying again, to continue trying even through the bad days. Because there’s always a chance that tomorrow will be better. Thank you for giving me a boost of motivation and comfort knowing I’m not going through this alone. Sending you healing and positive energy <3 :)

[anchuukki]

Sometimes I really need to remind myself that the simplest things are enough when the going gets tough. Managing to clean up or making some food for yourself or messaging a friend takes so much energy when there's a low. This video is so delightfully real and gentle. Thank you and I wish you and everyone in the comments all the best <3

[bigskib]

I had such a hard time when I had to move back in with my parents after graduating from college. Having to re-adjust, becoming seen as a child simply by living under the same roof again, the guilt and shame surrounding it. I would stay up all night sometimes and sleep half or more of the day away others. My eating was irregular, I wasn't able to take care of myself like I had before for quite a while. It takes time, but things will absolutely change. Sometimes all it takes is one good opportunity that makes you want to take a leap, something that pushes you to get up and be passionate about life again. It happened for me, and I've been a lot happier ever since I was able to get back on the path I wanted for myself. Taking it slow, taking better care of myself, that is truly what helped me through that low time of my life. Wishing you the best!!

[Alex-nysg]

I sometimes find that videos online to help people 'get out of depression ruts' are very full on and can feel really overwhelming when you just want some motivation to do better but this video felt like a gentle hug and like it was coaxing me out of my unhealthy habits. Thank you for being such a gentle being and thank you for sharing your gentleness with the world.

[Claraliketheluna]

I've been struggling with and learning from depression and anxiety a lot recently, and it is so lovely to see someone else being vulnerable and intentional like this online. It is clear that you are doing your best to be gentle with yourself and keep moving forward, just wanted to say that you're doing great!!!! Keep going and thank you for sharing!!!

[RenwanSorahan]

Got out of a 7 month long depressive slump few days back. It was a gradual, excruciating process that pushed me to the edge many times, but I cleaned out my room today. Felt the breeze after months, slept well after months, enjoyed the taste of my favourite food after months, listened to music after months.

Thank you for this video. May we be blessed with find ourselves truly living.