The Truth About Losing Friends in Your 20's | Letting Go, Cutting People Off & Forgiving

It feels like it's just a part of the coming-of-age story really. Very few people get to say they have kept the same friends throughout their whole lives, but that's kind of normal. But we do need to take care in how we navigate through our platonic relationships, especially as we sense ourselves drifting away from those we once called friends.

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[HotHoneyAndSpice]

I nearly cried when you said we haven’t met everyone who is going to love us yet. Thank you for this. I’m in my 30s and have recently lost 2 friends that I’ve had for almost 20 years. It hasn’t been easy but I still cherish the time we spent together and look forward to making new friends and sharing that friendship love again. 💕✨

[mitchelltynes]

My lesson: you can do all the right/supportive things, with the wrong person.
If you put the effort in and see that it's not being reciprocated or approach them on their level and see its not working, you can't make them engage with you. Even if you are doing what you need to. No need to get upset or want them to value you, let them go.

[Shanoxxa]

I lost a friend of 16 years this week because I have set boundaries. Honestly it was a long time coming and I’m not even sad about it. I wanted to do this for a long time now and this week she had shown me how selfish, childish and hypocritical she really is and I’m done.

[sunnni_]

I am 26 now and I am currently learning its okay to lose friend's as I grow in my personal journey in life. Not everyone is meant for our journey and we aren't meant for theirs. I believe I found two solid friends, but I am excited for this journey of life and the people I will meet.

[random-zdbs]

im 23 and i feel like my friends are all slipping through my fingers. i had such close friends at school and struggled to make friends at uni due to being introverted and shy. i thought at the time, it doenst matter, i have my home friends. they pretty much all moved on with uni friends and boyfriends, and i see one or two every couple of months. one of my closest friends from years started taking over a month to reply to me, over and over agian. i stopped texting, and she did too. we were extremely close friends for about six years, had been through lots together. i still think she's a wonderful person, and it makes me sad to think it ended like that, but a year has passed, and by now, we're miles apart.
ive since put a lot of effort into making new friends, and have had some success. but without a strong foundation of years of freindship, i end up with a few weak friendships i maintain to pass the time, but that aren't especially fulfilling.
it's a lonely time without a partner either

[touche]

I had to unfollow a bunch of people I met at uni. Most of the people I followed were either acquaintances or “close” friends at the time. I’ve moved away after graduating and started focusing on my career, health, and investing. I started to notice most of them never really respected me back then and asked myself ‘Will I ever see these people again?’ and ‘Is there any point having them on my socials?’. At this point there isn’t. Once you gain self respect for yourself, you will want what’s best for you.

[SS-cuse]

I lost a childhood friend last year due to (what I think) was different expectations of friendship. She felt offended that she didn’t know certain things about my life, and I didn’t feel like she was entitled to that information (if I want to keep something private to myself, I’m entitled to that). I just think we were at different maturity levels. I know that sounds condescending but I feel like she still viewed friendship like we were in our 20s and under - the years where you share everything. We are now in our 30s and I have a husband and child - I don’t feel like I need to share everything anymore and i guess I’m no longer interested in friendships where “closeness” is dependent on how much personal info you know. Let’s just enjoy each other’s company and not be too sensitive about petty stuff. That’s my new philosophy lol.

[baepy]

them friendship breakups hurt so much 😢

[rae]

I have a thing to really cut people off because I don't want people lingering around when they are not beneficial to me in any way

[nonik]

I also, realised that the friends I had were from school and we drifted apart, I think that we accommodated each other because of the situation (school). And now, I find it hard to make new friends because of the failed friendships and opening to someone again and feeling disappointed when things don't work out 😞 it's disheartening. Thanks Courtney, I appreciate your content ❤.

[SS-cuse]

I LOVE your maturity in regards to friendships! I absolutely AGREE. I don’t believe in cutting people off or burning bridges, but I have noticed this type of advice being pushed online. At the end of the day, I would rather be atleast neutral with everyone, than cut ties with people and completely remove them from my life, so much so that I wouldn’t even feel comfortable saying hello to them in public. I think the latter is so dramatic, messy and unnecessary. As you said, sometimes life happens and people drift apart, but that doesn’t mean you need to exit people’s lives in dramatic ways. I honestly think people who do that are immature and will eventually regret their actions years down the line. At the end of the day, it’s always nice to see an old friend and catch up, but you can’t do that with someone you had a messy falling out with. I love your message and agree with everything. I just hope people are intentional about keeping the peace or adjusting expectations/closeness in friendships, rather than cutting people off. To me, the latter is unnecessary.

[tendizhou]

Ohw Courtney God sent you to upload this just for me because when i tell you i am currently heart broken as i accept the loss of a friendship of over a dacade or even more than half my life. And i was literally searching sermons inline with this because im so shattered and bitter and sad angry everything u name it lol

[samihakhondoker]

i miss her presence because she has a friendly face and i miss making her laugh but i realised that in order to truly get along i couldnt cuz our life styles are too different

[justeb]

I want friends so bad but it seems really impossible when it comes down to it. Especially when I'm going the extra mile to try to make a good impression yet and still somehow get rejected seemingly. I'm not shy. I go out to places by myself regularly (I don't have friends, 🙁) bars, lounges, concerts, and vacation. The people that I meet along the way admire the fact that I can go places and do things on my own but I feel so forgettable to others yet entertaining for the moment and the vibe that their friend group is looking for... I've tried looking inward as far as my personality is concerned to see if I give off any red flags, but so far nothing really. But for the most part, I think it's cool that you have beautiful people come and go in your life although not all of them were the best at the time it still taught you something.

[BetweenThePagesWithLouLou]

As a 40 something I really needed this video. I’ve had a friendship of 30+ years that is no longer functional for both of us. For the past few years we have been drifting apart and this video has helped me how to navigate the conversation we need to have in order to let go and just move forward in a different way, if at all. Thanks.

[Maria-gdvf]

you're so beautiful, I like your skin and your makeup is next level 😍

[xoxosisihere]

I just turned 29 a week ago and I’m still struggling to find my friends.

[onyinyechinwokoro]

The way i clicked on this when i saw it. Thank you for sharing this video. The topic is something i've been dealing with for a while now and the part you mentioned about "not having met everyone who will love you" has given me so much hope.

[tianipowell]

Thanks so much I needed to hear this message. I’m coming into my 24th year next week and am feeling my typical birthday blues because I’ve felt it’s reminder of how alone and lonely I am. Inner self work has been transformative but isolating at times and honestly I think this is the first time in my
Life where I am genuinely excited to put myself out there to find community and true sisterhood. I’m so looking forward to pouring into others and finally allowing myself to be poured into. I’m trusting in god and in myself for the first time and I can’t wait to see what comes next for me! Thanks again for this video!❤

[akeodafe]

Thank you for sharing this video, I’m 21 and I’m navigating the friendship grounds . And I’ve learnt that it’s okay to decide who I want to be in my life and who I don’t, being scared to cut off with people that are clearly not meant for me or intentional about the friendship as I am . It’s okay to let them go . This video really did it for me, my older sister tells me a lot that I’m yet to meet all the people who would love me in life, and hearing a confirmation from you was the icing on the cake 🥂