I’ve Fallen Too Far Behind

▼ Timestamps ▼
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00:00 - Preview
00:09 - Discord post
04:35 - Expected to catch up
07:00 - Life is not a race, but it IS a competition
16:50 - The advantage of gaming
19:41 - It's okay to feel this way
27:19 - Coping mechanisms
32:03 - Questions

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[inkarnator]

I am 25 and I laugh at 19 year olds who think they have squandered their life, just the same way a 60 year old dude laughed at me when I told him I squandered my life. Perhaps that 60 year old guy is laughed at by 80 year old dudes for thinking the same thing.

[mitthrawnuruodo]

Maaan, story of my life. 25yo male, no car, never had a gf, still live with mom, no real career, the whole package. But I’m ok, I’m a late bloomer but I’m still blooming. Studying for programming, getting a car in October, everyday I’m getting out of my shell, I’m all good. Once you stop worrying about what others think you lose a lot of that shame. I’ll start dating when I’m 27, but I’ll focus on myself first.

[kipz]

this kid is lucky he's realizing it so early

[destroyerinazuma]

"Society expects you to be perfect, and fast" Dr. K, in an older video.

[di]

I am in a PhD program (I am in my 40s) and sometimes younger applicants to our program that have really high GPA and are very competitive are not accepted because of their attitude. My strength when I applied was my work experience and the fact that I came to it as a blank canvas, ready to learn, assuming I know nothing. Because I have more life experience and have worked on myself, I made myself more competitive than my younger counterparts and by the way, I am thriving!

[Roxiusas]

If a 19 year old is THAT worried about this sort of stuff, then me at 31 am probably doomed and didn't even notice that I'm basically drifting in life

[ChaosMasterXZ]

I'm nearly 24 yo male, had a stroke around 2 years ago, still have a hemiplegia on my dominant side and still can't use my hand and arm and leg fully functionally, university dropout, never had any relationship in my life, heard this got my hopes up a bit because during this time, I mostly spending my time on learning about myself, my values, what I want from life and philosophies.

[Nick]

"Comparison is the thief of joy"

I'm a video game and anime nerd with ADHD, almost 40, and by no means in the societal success category. I've made a lot of mistakes and had a lot of jobs (over 100). It is extremely easy to tell myself that time has been wasted. The problem with this line of thinking is that it creates a mindset that being "behind" is bad. The most recent job I've gotten, the experience I have in several fields is actually an asset. The real lesson here is that drawing from experience is an asset.

The full quote “a jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one." is meant to convey this.

Nobody is born knowing what to do, and everyone, everywhere, is trying to figure out what to do with their life and how to do it well. Some people have situations or environments that are more conducive to their goals. If there is anything you can change, change what, where, and who you spend time with. Having a goal is helpful. Small steps are easier than larger ones. A mountain was moved by carrying small stones.

If I can give any advice, it's that giving yourself a goal to focus on can carry you through a lot of shit. If we are lucky, we find something we are passionate about. I suggest doing something you know you can do to put money on the table, to afford something you enjoy first---find your passion second. It's not as difficult as you might think to have the two overlap, but it is not necessary to "be successful", which is easily subjective on a personal level. When you play a video game you have objectives that can be clearly ticked off. It works in real life to. Be specific. Keep yourself busy, every step you take is one step further than the version of yourself that did nothing.

I've spent a lot of time with trivial things, people and places that may not get me anywhere. To spend the rest of my life regretting those choices is to hate who I am for just as long. I think it is better to forgive and forget. To grow from where I am.

I am not perfect. We are all human. I am now making a living wage for the first time in my life and it feels great. I didn't get here without a lot of work related to specific, measurable and attainable goals. It's not the same map for everyone, but I believe as long as you can breathe you can change. The parts of life that build progress are boring. Greatness (as a label best given by others) is often built when no one is looking, and often applied without knowing. Be yourself, take care of yourself, and pursue your goals. May they all come true.

Godspeed.

(Channels like this are a blessing. Thank you for your time and expertise, Dr. K and the folks at HealthyGamerGG.)

[Entropic_Alloy]

Hearing 19 and 25 year olds complain about this is quaint, especially when you are nearing 35.

[Specialzone]

"ya I feel behind" and it turns out it's a question asked by a 19 year old.
me being 30 "oh...."

[SSunnie_]

22 starting college over again. I don't mind myself being behind, I can take all the time I need. But it's painful not being able to support my parents who are visibly aging

[BeEmoBro]

I wish that people my age (28) made a post so I could relate.
I am too far behind, the diffrence is. i'm 28. Not 19.

[TonyHalle]

I'm irritated that a 19 year old thinks they are behind in life when they haven't started it yet. People are really expected to pick a life path when they're still in highschool

[seekingfinding]

I was forced into a career I hated by my parents. I bailed for good at 40, spent 10+ years or so in relative poverty trying to dig the real me out from under the disfunction, and am now in a new career that has nothing to do with anything else I'd ever done, but is the first job I actually love. I lucked out with some things, and depended on friendships I made for others, and I'm finally doing work that makes me happy. One thing that kept me going was all the stories I've read/watched/played. We always love the underdog, we feel for the guy who's down. I tried to have that attitude for myself, and it kept the depression and stress down just enough to keep going. Having these videos back when I was fresh out of school would have made things a LOT easier; I had to find out a lot of these therapy techniques through experimentation and random searching and various "healers". I'm really glad this channel is here, and that this knowledge is out in the world now where so many more people can access it and not have to struggle quite as much as I did. Keep going guys, it gets better but sometimes you gotta battle through some tough levels!

[BattleDuelists]

Currently 24, very unhappy with the education I did and my current work. I've always been fascinated by people that could draw well but I kept saying "I dont have the talent" or "I didnt draw as a child like they did" or that it is too late. I started drawing little over a month ago, staying consistent in the hope I can make something out of it. It's never too late lads, you can do it!

[diandradeeke]

i am 32 years old and i have just started my career a year ago. I grew up in an extremely disfunctional family and i finally had to cut contact. Summed up, i have lost 7 years in comparison to other people. i am trying to get a car in the next year.

[lalakuma]

I had the same thoughts in my 20s. I kept thinking that it's "too late" for me to try some new things, or to get really good at things that I was already doing. The thought of "falling behind" kept me from even trying, and looking back now at 31, if I had started doing something in my 20s I would have had 10 years of experience by now. But I also understand that I was dealing with a lot more anxiety and depression back then, and I needed to get to a better mindset to do things without a massive brain fog and emotional drain. I literally moved my life to a different country 3 years ago and just finished a degree to change my career (many of my classmates are like 7-8 years younger than me). EDIT: The problem I had with catching up in my late-teens and early-20s was that everyone kept telling me "you're young, you have time to figure it out", but no one taught me how to figure it out, so I kept "falling behind" for years.

[GuruFernandez]

I'm currently 28. For the first 27 years of my life I spent the majority of my time gaming - I still did my basic duties like school and eventually work but my life was very centered around games. It wasn't until I moved out where I realized wow I prolly shouldnt have done that, and often I do lament about all the time lost (I even made a video about it).

Still, I fully embraced the "life is not a race" mentality and started working on myself. Today I am happier than I've ever been knowing that I still have so much to experience and learn. I've learned the only thing that can get in your way is comparing yourself to others - "Comparison is the thief of joy" as they say. If life is indeed a competition, let it be against your former self.

[Martin-dqkx]

I really needed to hear this as a 26 year old who has dropped out of University and am about to give it another try starting next week.

[marioherrerajr]

Holy crap!
"The person who's fallen behind is the person who's gotta catch up"

That really hit hard in a good way! I never thought of it in that way. I'm currently working in transitioning careers but I'm struggling with my phone, gaming and anime addiction to the point that is incredibly difficult to stay focus.