How to Beat Impostor Syndrome

Dr. K’s Guide to Mental Health explores Anxiety, Depression, ADHD, and Meditation

#shorts #drk #mentalhealth

[chumley]

When someone says "Hey, Dr. K, you did a great job" to me, I always say, "Thank you. I am not even Dr. K."

[omega-edeo]

The way he say “Hey Dr K” made me do a spit take 😂

[tjwtf]

I know the creator is unlikely to see this, but I'm thankful for a qualified practitioner creating online content like this. These little positive affirmations and coping techniques are brilliant, especially in the middle of content binging online

[IGNITION]

This is roughly analogous to the divide between work and value. You can work really hard on something people end up hating, or you can put barely any effort into something that ends up becoming super popular.
And often the work you did that you thought was the best, goes completely unappreciated by others.

[BismuthKaiju]

I have always had low self-esteem, and it's hard for me to see myself as worthy of my friends and relationships. What I have been doing is realizing that I respect my friends totally, and they like me enough to be my friend.. so they see something in me that I cant see myself and to diminish myself is the diminish their opinion of me, and I would never disrespect their feelings and opinions. So I must be better than I think.

[nom_nom]

My initial thought on this was ‘I don’t have this problem’ but then I remembered that I have a hard time accepting compliments. I don’t diminish them but I do try to ignore the compliments

[christinah]

I do feel like people often give compliments just to be kind, so they’re always true

[banwavy]

I always say in relationships, friendships, work environments, random people…give them the benefit of the doubt without assuming they are wrong or “indoctrinated”. Let them find their way through the conversation and be patient and just assume that you both are being honest. It’s a good practice with interactions regardless of outcome.

That being said, there is a difference between giving them the benefit of the doubt and being pathologically lied to!

[ahmadnorouzi]

My brother doesn't always necessarily give a positive feedback. That's why i believe him everytime he does.

[IGNITION]

I like Jonathan Blow's take on this.
He talks about the rise of impostor syndrome in the software industry. He says that what most people call impostor syndrome isn't that a person is actually competent but has an irrationally negative perception of their own ability.
It's that they're actually not very good at their job, and on some level they know that, and their feelings about needing to get better are valid and in alignment with reality.
The software industry consists mostly of people with very little experience, so for most people, that is going to be the case.

[ghostratsarah]

What I do is imagine I'm someone else reviewing my work. Would I give myself a compliment, be genuinely impressed, give them a 'you tried star, or tell them to improve themself? It helps that I'm genuinely a critical person who gives a lot of compliments. My critiques are always trying to find the positives and where to improve. Of course I only vocalize the positives, unless I'm asked for further input.

Basically I do unto myself as I would have done unto other

[Rihonblood]

My supervisor did a good job and I was PERFECTLY prepared for my first conference talk. Since the beginning of my project, he was nitpicking everything I ever had presented. And I had to practice present my first talk in front of him like 13times until he was satisfied with my wording & timing.
At the conference, I felt like I gave one of the best talks there because I got the most questions on that day answering them all profoundly, and I was the only phd student who finished in the given time frame. Even got a lot of positive feedback from others after my presentation at the later coffee breaks.
My supervisor told me right after my presentation "good job" followed with a feedback for 20minutes 😅 the next week, back in the lab, he gave me even more feedback...
Nevertheless, it has been my best presentation until today without any doubt and I am still so proud 😇
The key was my meticulous preparation and having the most pedantic supervisor ever

[canxel]

I was aware of this recently and then change it from rejecting it to thanking the person

[ikigai]

The fear I have in accepting compliments is what if they are lying to me and talking shit about me behind my back? Then if I hear about it I would feel betrayed or rejected. In order to prevent feeling like that, I stop myself from accepting those compliments.

[iota-]

impostor sybndrome would be extremely rarer if politeness of that kind didn't exist and people were both genuine in their words and their intentions of just wanting to see others improve and strive to be better(to address the implied point that some people unfortunately can't handle negative feedback no matter how well it's put)

[amineouerdani]

That low self esteem is very hard to beat ; i struggle with it, i always understimate i m doing and have done, i m even unable to assume that i love myself, even when people praise me for something, i make it as less in terms of value and i know that it can be an obstacle that i should overcome to have better relationships but i struggle for real 😅

[JonMarkham-jvyv]

A person with true Imposter
Syndrome always hears the other people who have gaslit them when they were told negative comments about them as "right" so when they encounter positive data from the outside they CAN'T believe it!

[Audark]

So this was really perfectly timed. I have a big presentation tomorrow for the end of my internship and I’m very stressed. But this helped a little. Thanks

[sheolcodemonkey]

I think the difficulty always comes from the fact that all the things I think were bad about it, I actually did observe. They might not have seen it, but I know I had an enormous failure of competence, and it just so happens that it didn't manifest in a way that compromised the end result enough for an observer to receive it badly

That then means that even if I can accept that they thought it went well, I know it ALSO went really badly, and I just got lucky in that it was in ways only I noticed, but what if next time it isn't? I need to focus on these failures and fix them. I can't stay at this level of competence or I could be in for a world of hurt next time. This is terrible, truly terrible, I am terrible, and I only succeeded on luck, which means having got this far doesn't mean squat, I can't rely on talent to see me through, I'm an impostor

[flowstatepump]

I just can’t internalize a good feeling from any type of compliment and it makes me feel weird about saying random nice things to people because I fear they feel the same and will think I’m not genuine