Why Did God Make Me Unattractive?

Ask Pastor John
Episode: 1699

[beverlygonzalez]

I am a disabled, black female, with an hispanic surname. My siblings were some of the most attractive, brilliant, talented, charismatic people you could ever meet. From childhood, I was the "crippled" one...the one that was bullied in and out of school....the one that was victimized at an early age more times than I can remember by (fill in the blank). And, yes, I DID attempt suicide in my early teens...I had had enough. But, in my late teens, the Gospel was preached to me in such a way that I decided to believe and be born-again. For the first time in my life, I had hope and that good things were possible for me! That was over 40 years ago. I've lost count of all the insults and rejections that have happened to me in the last decades. They no longer matter because I hear my Shepherd's voice in my heart. I am VERY content just to be His. And, there are others that I have been blessed to share my testimonies with who have similar "struggles." They marvel at my "joy" in Christ because it is genuine. If I could choose to change ANYTHING about my past or about me- I would change NOTHING...AT ALL. Why? Because I have learned that GOD'S grace IS sufficient! He makes every day enjoyable just :-)

[Ernz]

This is made worst by social media, making people feel even more insecure about themselves. Be careful what your eyes see my brothers and sisters, a King died for us that's the best compliment we can ever get

[wp]

I’ve been alluded to as unattractive many times in my life. And I admit it’s hard to understand why God would do this. I’ve always been ignored. No one usually cares what I’m doing or what I think about things.

(This was how I originally felt a year ago, I was in a very dark place)

But I now realize it isn’t true. Some people do find me attractive. More people find me attractive than I believed possible. There’s someone out there for everyone. Just have faith and hope and improve yourself as best you can. Live courageously. To anyone reading this who is despairing, I promise there is hope. There is a light at the end of the darkness, I’m proof, because now I feel much better than when I originally commented this. Some people say mean things out of jealousy and purposefully put you down because of how they feel about themselves. But the negative things are bs. We are all beautiful in our own way. God bless you all

[velinivanov]

To every person who feels ugly or unattractive remember that Satan was the most beautiful creature to ever exist yet his pride made him ugly inside and eventually outside it let to him being defeated and an disfigured remember that GOD dose not look at a person's height or might he dose not judge a person by there physique appearance instead he looks at their heart.

[dwightwilliams]

It bothers me all the time. I will have no children or have a partner because of my looks. I am short and have no money. I am low valued and people always exclude me in everything.

[John-xfft]

Validating, telling someone whos feeling insecure that they are beautiful is a short-term solution for a long term problem. People need to believe the truth that it is okay to look a certain way, that its okay to be imperfect. Security is important because caring about how we look can become an idol. You’re fine whatever way you look. Much love everyone❤️.

[lorindadaigle]

I dont necessarily feel ugly, probably average. But I needed this today. Im disabled with my back. I always want I run and play with my kids. And I cannot. Sometimes I can't stand or walk. Some days it is so unbearable that I just cry.. I have scoliosis and my spine is deteriorating. I know one day I'll be wirh Jesus and not be in pain anymore.

[vangarcia]

I Am A Christian, I am So Ugly .I Disgust People But, Unattractiveness Protects me From This Wicked World.. .This Evil Wicked World Has Always hated

[meloon]

The hard truth is it is a fact a person can look very unattractive or ugly. It is a fact.
The great consolation is that it is only temporary until our body is glorified and that beautiful, Handsome body is eternal!

[The_Iron_Disciple]

I hope whoever asked this sees this.

I was unattractive, learned the science of attraction, applied it, forgot it, and ended up giving God the credit anyway. It took years.

I used to pray to be become beautiful as a little kid and cry to God that He made me ugly. You get made fun of enough and you start to believe it. Always getting rejected, made fun of, hating what you see in the mirror. I think God threw me a bone as I grew older, I’ve been getting a lot of compliments. I must have been a late bloomer because it only started in the last couple of years and I’m 26 now (saved at 21 if you’re curious).

But now I often throw people off because they expect a lot of other things to come with that. Unbelievers are surprised I’m saving myself for marriage. Believers are surprised I make so much time for studying biblical theology. Why do I say this? Idk... it just seems that God does have a heart to give us our heart’s desires, but His timing is absolutely perfect. If He made me the way I wanted to look early on, my life might look very different right now (for the worse)

I have wrestled against lust almost my whole life (I praise God that I am seeing big victories). But here is a key question: who knows where a beautiful appearance (and my belief that I had one) would have taken me if the doors were opened to me? My point isn’t that that will happen to you. My point is that I learned that when God doesn’t answer prayers right away (or at all), He always has a profound (and might I add sufficient) reason for why, maybe multiple. In these times, it is a matter of life and death, at least for me, to truly believe that God cares. After all, He does. He has said so Himself.

This is not to heap up condemnation on anyone who desires beauty (it’s a natural desire) but rather the opposite- it’s to build excitement for a time when we are reunited with Christ and we are made completely new. And we will see and feel in a very concrete, not so abstract, way who we were always meant to be, in Christ (inside AND out). And in the meantime, just do what you can. Just don’t let it take precedence over kingdom activities. Heck maybe God will even use it to open doors for your testimony. In any case, make serving Jesus your priority and He will take care of you guaranteed. That doesn’t mean no pain and loss. But it means that you will get through this life, and you will know Him, and you will be with Him. There is no greater joy in all of creation then to be with Him.

All that said, I leave you with this- do not run away from the science of improving your looks as being non-spiritual as we christians often do with anything related to the body, but at the same time realize that your look is NOT your identity. You can massively change your level of attractiveness. There are two components:

health: exercise, nutrition, and rest

style: haircare, skincare, and fashion

But if not clothed in humility... oh, what a tragedy. It’s all for naught.

This verse is absolutely critical. I truly cannot emphasize this enough:

1 Samuel 16:7

May God bless you and may we hasten the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

[Pseudo-Jonathan]

Isaiah 53:2–3

[2] For he grew up before him like a young plant,
and like a root out of dry ground;
he had no form or majesty that we should look at him,
and no beauty that we should desire him.
[3] He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief;
and as one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not. (ESV)

[LolaRabbit]

Wow, never thought I see a question like this, but I bet a lot of followers of Christ has this problem. I never thought of myself as beautiful. I have my cute days, my pretty days, and my 😩 ugh days, but as I grow older I became glad I’m glad I’m not what the world calls beautiful. The beautiful are often idolized, used, lusted after, and abused more than an average person. An average person might actually live a better life than a beautiful person who likely has a hard time finding people who genuinely like or love them for themselves, and sadly some beautiful people don’t ever truly develop a personality, whit, or skills like an ordinary person does. They are told just being beautiful is enough because people want to worship, use, and lust after them, but these same people don’t always care about them as a person or their mind or values or anything of substance besides their physical attractiveness.

Some people are cursed with beauty and it has caused for all kinds of scenarios others would never encounter, good and bad. Their lives aren’t perfect and flawless because of their looks. Beautiful people might also been more likely to get sexually abused as children because some disgusting people found them so physically appealing.

God bless those who have been hurt either way in whatever measure of this spectrum you land in. I for one, never thought God’s use of the word beauty had anything to do with the outward appearance. God has no use for our physical appearance and I don’t believe He sees or view it like because for Him to view beauty like the world does God would some form of physical attraction to our human bodies. God’s beauty to me always meant our characteristics and our soul. He has always been concerned with the cleanliness and purity of our soul that given to us in the womb.

God looked at all of his works and determined that “It was good” I mean gave you seen some of the creatures underwater? Or think about the way the cherubim are described? I wouldn’t exactly call them beautiful, 😝 lol. Some of the creatures of the deep blue sea are the freakiest things I have ever seen! I knew right then that God and I don’t have the same thoughts on the word beauty, but he loves us all the same. I hope my long message helped someone today. God bless you, take care.

[deborahhu]

Dear Pastor, thank you for taking this question serious as it can mean being constantly rejected at school, work, relationships and often dismissed generally leading to loneliness.

[jessethomas]

I believe the Bible affirms two things regarding this issue:

1. Not everyone is equally physically attractive. While it is true that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, it is no comfort to know that someone somewhere might find you attractive while the people around you, who you care about, don't.

2. The Bible constantly and consistently undermines physical attractiveness as a means to measure the value of a person.

I'm grateful that pastor John didn't deny the reality of ugliness, but dealt with it biblically, but I feel he should have put it in its biblical place too (as something insignificant compared to spiritual beauty), just for completeness.

I would urge everyone reading this comment to look up pastor John's sermon on the proverbs 31 woman.

[JMusar]

I'm handsome!!! My mother told me that!😂

[olgas]

During high school I was perceived as unattractive and combined with other reasons I was not part of the crowd. I definitely did not handle myself correctly always, but that afforded me a unique perspective where I value maintaining/building what relationships and friendships I have now even more than if they always came easy. I also had other body image problems, but now that I have overcome them more or less, they gave me a natural sense of modesty.

[stephaniecolmenares]

What the world calls ugly, God calls them beautiful. We all have something we struggle with, you are not alone. The enemy is fighting you because you have something valuable that God put inside of you. Remember God made us in His image. When people say mean things to you, they are saying it to God also. This is His battle and He wants us to give every little piece to him. I know how it feels. I actually used to ask God why he made me so ugly. I used to get bullied in Junior High School. He needed to change my perspective and have relationship with Him and to trust Him. DON’T LISTEN TO THOSE VOICES WHO ARE TELLING YOU, YOU ARE NOT WORTHY! God says you are, that’s why HE made you!!

[lailaplaysdbd]

I'd love to have a word with him. No wonder I can't score a boyfriend like the rest of my friends. They'll be happily married with kids while I'm lonely.

[villainsbridgeclub]

If God meant for me to be short, ugly, stupid, and untalented, then He must love me less and I have a hard time getting past that.

[MadManiacGamer]

Iv always been a really skinny person. The fact that I don’t eat much and run everyday makes me that way. I was ok with the way I looked, but my family and friends say words that hurt and made me grow to hate myself. They’d say “ew you need to eat more” “your so skinny you might break” and all these things stacked upon me until I’d lie in my bedroom and just cut my wrist with anything. Razors, scissors and even nail clippers. Iv accepted myself now and have found peace in Gods word. He tells me I’m made perfect by him