Are You Introverted or is it Autism?

Dave investigates the primary differences between introversion as a personality trait and autism.

[johnboy]

Introvert here, during lock-down it was like having the most pointless superpower ever (well that and the alopecia. No barbers needed either). Basically what everybody else was complaining about - the lack of social contact etc, isolation etc. Was normal to me, generally social stuff just burns me out.

[brianjuergensmeyer]

I've often wondered how many people have ended out in IT simply because they were "somewhere on the spectrum", and working with computers just didn't require masking. Thanks so much for being willing to put yourself out there like this!

[kelly]

One way my therapist described it to me is "Introversion doesn't mean you hide in your room all day. You can be perfectly social with the right people and in the right circumstances, but you find it draining and have be alone to recharge your batteries. Extroverts can be insular or shy, but recharge their batteries in a group, even if you are just chilling together and not partying or even talking"

[SuperChicken]

Very informative. I'm in my late 60s. Twenty years in the military with no friends. Preferred it that way so didn't try too hard to acquire any. Never been to a party that wasn't mandatory. For five years I was a military instructor. Very difficult time for me but I masked or faked it so well that I outshined most others even though they saw me as weird. Still to this day nobody ever visits my home. Nobody calls me except my wife, salesmen, and doctor appointments and I abhor making calls myself. Now retired, I'm a part-time cashier and people would think I was one of the most outgoing interactive cashiers they've ever seen, but it's learned behavior - what I feel is expected - more of a performance. And it is exhausting. But it's how I cope. I know I have ASD, but testing for adults is hard to find and costs as much as a new refrigerator. I'm so full of quirks and unusual tendencies that it drives my wife crazy. But I'm relatively happy as long as my routines aren't interrupted. Quiet is good. That's my two cents.

[longhairedcello]

This video describes me scarily accurately. It made me reflect on myself in a way I hadn't before. Dave's preferences are slightly different from mine, but his experiences are identical. Especially the part about how every time you try to be social as a kid you're punished for being weird, so you just get quiet

[matthewkrumlauf]

As a person with ADHD but with either a “social trauma” or some other anxiety. I have been told that everything is too difficult for me or not financially stable. So I gave up everything I loved and I did computer science.

I like computer science but it is something that easily frustrates me rather than inspires me. The break throughs are a high, but again the nagging thoughts that I will never be good enough because of my diagnosis followed me mentally.

I have finally realized that I was avoiding challenges because of this! I am now learning Japanese and pushing my vocal training for opera. Like your father I picked Japanese because everyone kept telling me it was too hard for me. Well I am going to prove them wrong.

[modarkthemauler]

I also remember people by what they do but not names.

[vociferonheraldofthewinter]

For me, the one aspect that forced me to consider autism was the sensitivities. A dysfunctional early childhood couldn't explain that. Lord knows I tried to make that theory work. Another question that baffled me was - why is this getting worse? Why is it so much harder to 'act' correctly in social situations than it used to be? Why am I becoming more sensitive as I get older instead of adapting to my environment at ALL?

What opened my mind to exploring the possibility that I was different was when we found out my son was colorblind. He had perfect 20/10 vision, but literally didn't see the world the way that most other people did. It blew both our minds. This made me wonder if I actually felt the world differently than most others.

[Gunbudder]

one of my closest friends is a very, very extroverted autistic person. i love seeing him interact with strangers because the way he sees the world and interacts with people is something i could never imagine in a million years. one of the most creative people i've ever met

[manephewlenny]

Ah man I cheered when you said "I had the last laugh". I'm a developer myself at a relatively senior level but my career has been held back by serious introversion and what many suspect to be autism. Fell into addiction in my 20s and I'm only overcoming it now in my late 30s and loving my career now.

[PatriciaWithers-yq]

New to this channel; never diagnosed, but probably on the spectrum. I want to thank you for not doing what most You Tubers do on their channels, which is to incessantly move their hands and arms the whole time they're talking. I have Sensory Processing Disorder, and I immediately noticed and appreciated the fact that you kept STILL while talking! I felt calm and could really pay attention to your words -- such a relief!

[skillcapshu]

It's so refreshing to have someone on the spectrum with a successful life categorize the struggles and how to overcome it. I always thought I am terribly introverted and awkward until I found out I learned to be cautious, even anxious when I was young and am actually quite extroverted, if I feel good about a situation. I just don't usually. Being neurodiverse does not mean you're awkward all you life. Kids can just be cruel and you learn to be very defensive. I'm living my best life with lots of friends, I just had to find that out and I hope this video reaches some younger folks who yet have to learn this!

[davidclift]

Ah, Dave, that's a perfect description of myself. While I wouldn't say I'm on the spectrum, I do display some neuro-diversity. I get fixated on subjects and will invest massive amounts of time into them, much to the annoyance of those around me. In my late teenage years, I realised that I would rather be away from people on my own than in groups and saw this as an issue. So, I would do things that forced me to work closely with people I didn't know, which started my love of sailing. The longer the journey, the better.
I now work in the electronics design industry, teaching people about FPGAs and VHDL. I fell into it, and once I realised I did know more than the people I was training, I got to like it. But it is indeed tiring. Interestingly, the more engineers I work with, the more I realise that a lot are at some point on the spectrum.
Loving your video's please keep it up, and if you ever want a chat about FPGAs and VHDL, drop me a line.

[Songbirdstress]

The best definition of introversion I ever heard is the Myers Briggs one. Introverts are drained by interactions with others, and need to be alone to recharge their batteries, extroverts are energised by interactions with others and get drained when they are alone too much.

[johnpetry]

Your openness and honest self-assessments are truly inspiring. Love your vids and keep 'em coming!

[jeffcard]

I can relate 100 percent to your description of how exhausting it is trying to 'act normal' and not have people think I'm weird or be offended by misreading my reactions. Of course being a couple of standard deviations to the right of average IQ makes a person abnormal by definition.

[missachan]

I've always thought I had autism but it's so hard to get tested for it as an adult. I've been diagnosed with ADHD which is apparently related to Autism. Well, at least one thing is for sure, I'm an introvert. Thank you for making this video

[kimchiman]

Dave, I'm writing to thank you for making this video. It is important to me personally that I do this. It doesn't matter to me whether or not if you comment on what I say here, other than that you might let me know if you see it.

I've been very messed up (especially socially) my entire life. But until I saw this video a couple of weeks ago, it never occurred to me to take any sort of a test to reveal any ASD. Well, I took what you said in this video to heart, and did two online tests, which confirmed what I probably already suspected, but didn't connect the dots. Now, suddenly, the dots have connected in a big way, and things now make sense for me. I guess I could call it closure, if only because I cannot think of a more suitable word at the moment.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart; you have helped me more than you may realize! I hope that perhaps some day I'll have the opportunity to shake your hand.

Incidentally, after over 40 years of working in the construction industry, with the majority of those as a heavy equipment operator, I am attempting to transition to a new career in programming. To that end, I'm now learning Python. And so far it feels like it will probably be a good fit for me, as long as it will lead to gainful employment. I won't bore you with the reasons why I need to do this.

Have a great day!

[phail_trail]

I really appreciate that you define the difference between the ability to show up socially and the want. I feel the exact same way about outings. I can do one or the other. But I'm pretty much burnt after a play or a meal.

I'm not sure if you do them only for special reasons but I really do like the little skits that you have at the end of some ofyour videos: "Next time on Dave's garage..." 🙂

[CZghost]

This is interesting. I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome (which falls on a lighter end of the autism scale), and I always tended to be more of a quiet kid in the back, not really wanting much of the attention drawn towards me. Not sure what and if something changed, not sure when if so, but I guess it's not as easy, because there are some specific cases in which I'd like to be recognised, in which I'd like to draw some attention towards me. But in the others, not so much. Being labeled as introverted or extroverted isn't really meaningful, as it basically forces you to choose between and throw the other. I'm socially awkward, not really a social person. But at the same time I want to show off my ideas and visions. I'm introverted in the sense I don't really socialize. Part of the reason may be I don't really share interests with many people, whenever I was forced to attend some social gathering, I often just ended up sitting there, awkwardly listening to the conversation in front of me, but hardly ever about me or about anything that interests me, didn't have a chance to speak much, and didn't want to rudely interrupt the conversation, waiting for a chance to speak, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting, all over, until I even forgot what I wanted to say in the first place. Then when I did have a chance to speak, my speaking abilities aren't quite good enough to fully express myself in the way I would like - I stutter, I speak slowly, I find it hard to think of the right words. That attributes the fact I often get interrupted in the middle of the sentence or I get interrupted in the middle of the thing I wanted to say, only for the conversation to resume whereever it stopped before, or to start a completely new conversation about a completely new topic, seemingly unrelated to the one I suggested. So I often feel unheard and not really wanted. I made a YouTube channel in the hopes I find people who share the same interests, in the hope I find people who might be interested in my ideas and visions, and in the hope I can finally feel being heard and maybe even admired. Yes, it does sound a little bit selfish, but having very few friends I can talk to, and not really having much of opportunities to show my qualities to others, it comes with no surprise. Having a YouTube channel might mend my insecurities I had as a child and still carry today. It may also improve my speaking skills to the point I might be able to give lectures even, or simply just having a normal conversation with someone during a small talk. So I guess I'm introverted in the sense of social awkwardness, but extroverted with the desire to be heard, to be understood and to be recognized. It's not a black and white situation, it never was.