Dementia Caregiver Thoughts Part 2 of 3- How your thoughts impact your loved one with dementia

Welcome to the place where I share dementia tips, strategies, and information for family members caring for a loved one with any type of dementia (such as Alzheimer's disease, Lewy Body dementia, vascular dementia, frontotemporal dementia, etc.)

In today's video, I'm sharing how you situations don't create your mood. It's actually your thinking that leads to your feelings. By understanding this, you can start to get control over your thoughts and find ways to help you feel better.

This is Video #1 of a 3 part video series. Next week we will take this a step further and talk about how your thoughts can actually impact your loved one's behaviors.

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Dealing with Challenging Behaviors:

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OTHER VIDEOS MENTIONED IN THIS VIDEO:
Find out: "why you should lie to your loved one with dementia"
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In case you haven’t met me, my name is Natali Edmonds and I am a board certified geropsychologist. That means that I am a clinical psychologist who specializes in working with older adults. One day, while hiking a trail, I came up with the idea for Careblazers and I decided to see if posting videos online could provide help to the many other Careblazers in the world who don’t get to have help come directly to them in their homes. I hope that this work helps you in some way on your caregiving journey.
#careblazer #dementia #dementiacare

[janherwick]

Your new series really is timely. After 2 years of care, the « emotional thoughts » in reaction to actions of my loved one did not help resolve behavior. I found that trying to find humor and teasing a laugh over the event; commiserating with him first, then making light of the consequences and being as relaxed as possible while cleaning up worked wonders! Sometimes it took a 10 minute break for me to walk away...then return to the space we shared. Reason does not help, only confuses.

[marycaciamasser]

Oh this was so helpful Dr. Natali. Thank you. I have to keep remembering: I can’t change anyone else, I can only change myself and perhaps by doing that a change will appear in my loved one. Hope you are safe. God Bless you.

[TCsPaperBlessingscrafts]

YES, this makes sense. I do journal but will be adding my emotion of what i am feeling and what precipitated before. Thanks much for the videos.

[rlongjr]

Your insight is amazing Doc ... this makes PERFECT sense and I .. me .. has to remember this !

[lucyalgarvia]

I always try to help my Mom find her purse, or her tweezers, or favorite lipstick, or whatever she might think I took from her, I tell her to calm down that I will help her & most of the time I find the missing item & she calms down but the next day I find myself doing the same thing, and being blamed for it because she believes that when I help her search I take other items... I just can’t reason or distract her from the situation... during the bad days, I find myself spending most of my day searching for the same items, scissors, tweezers, praying beads, etc & she insults me & screams at me specially when I ask to calm down, we will find it soon, it’s here somewhere but she keeps yelling until I find the item! It takes a toll on me too... My Mom always had this distrust that people played games with her, as far as I can remember, being a child, she would say other family members took certain things from her & now I can’t even get her to shower without having her wallet next to her...

[soniaannwillard]

🕊✌💖🙌🙌 Happy Palm Sunday🎶🕊✌💖 Blessings &Well Wishes to All Careblazer's and the World✌🕊💖👣

[gfRiggs]

Sometimes it does look like he is doing it on purpose. Other times it is clear he is feeding off my emotions 😢❤️

[colleencasey]

I agree that it is our thoughts that create our feelings, not situations. The only difference is that in a difficult situation, I can 'feel' calm and ok inside, and not reacting however in my experience, regardless of how I am able to 'control' my feelings through my thoughts, my LO/Father w/ Late Stage Alz still yells screams and has violent outbursts regardless of how I am feeling or the "cues I am sending." I am very aware of my thoughts and actions as I've been observing and doing deep Inner Work for years. I guess regardless of how my LO behaves, I do not have to feel guilty or responsible for his actions and I can still feel calm inside (even though I do have moments of course b/c I'm not perfect). I do not think it is anyone's responsibility to change or try to control another.

[Carolem]

My husband is in the beginning of something that is not even diagnosed. But I know something is wrong. Nothing I make for him to eat is good in his eyes. He is very quiet, unless he i presented with a meal. He is used to Peruvian food, but I know that if I made a Peruvian meal for him, he would complain about it. I realize what you are saying, and I will try to think, well, his taste buds are off, and at least he does eat what I prepare. Also, he does not realize how tired I am, and he's always bringing up jobs that should be getting done. I have physical problems too. I can only do so much here at home. He fell down the steps in OCtober, and has a shoulder tear. Doctor would not operate on the day of surgery because they said something is mentally wrong with him. I say, regardless, he needs the surgery and why are they doing this?? I spoke to the VA advocate and she is going to work on it. Oh, gosh, I believe this is just the beginning of a long struggle. He is in bed 24 hours a day. He refuses to do anything else. He is very quiet with yes or no answers mostly. He is 74.

[carolyngaulin]

Thank you so much ! I just remember is a disease. I write in a journal it helps! I love this channel 💕💕. I Agee but I know mine dad wouldn’t do this if he didn’t have this disease. Take care !

[pennysutch]

I have dementia I on medication I have good days and bad days. I feel guilty putting my family through this.I was a teacher I get frustrated when I should know the answer.