The Need to be Alone

We can often be left feeling that there is something wrong with us if we need regularly to spend a lot of time alone. But the impulse to be alone is, in fact, a sign of taking other people very seriously - and is, therefore, a symptom of being properly, rather than superficially, sociable.

FURTHER READING

“Because our culture places such a high value on sociability, it can be deeply awkward to have to explain how much – at certain points – we need to be alone.

We may try to pass off our desire as something work-related: people generally understand a need to finish off a project. But in truth, it’s a far less respectable and more profound desire that is driving us on: unless we are alone, we are at risk of forgetting who we are...”

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Tom Fisher

Catherine Prowse

[sumeetshrestha]

You dont realize how addictive being alone is.

[Ancient_Strength]

"If you feel lonely when you are alone, you are in bad company" - Paul Sartre

[ellipsisms]

Socialisation is very draining, it’s only natural to feel the need to be alone.
I’m neither sorry nor embarrassed about the amount of time I choose to be alone over being around other people.

[palemoonlight]

It's better to be alone than badly accompanied...life's too short to waste time with people that bore you and there's so much to learn and improve about yourself when you have time to do this alone without the daily distractions. So yes there are true pros in loving your own company <3

[theaxisofinsight]

Being by yourself and feeling depressed is loneliness; being by yourself and feeling good is solitude. The latter is what we seek when we want time to ourselves.

[xxplosiv]

Introverts unite!

... quietly, in our rooms, via the internet.

[ShubhamKainthola]

Being alone is like learning an art, one has to practice it to master it.
Unlucky are those who never experience what being alone feels like.
Each day, everyone of us gets that chance to be alone,
but we freak out, we misunderstand it with loneliness, we unlock our phones.
Game over.

[ibrahimmohammed]

Solitude is required to be a better person hence a better friend/ brother/son etc.. this is what I feel every time I withdraw from social gatherings. Well done!

[kanchans]

Being alone teaches you a lot more about your inner self.. the true self that gets lost with so much more going on outside! I love it!

[gigihsenoutomo]

Why do i need to be alone? Because that way, I can feel my own emotions better and drown in them. No one can interfere with my mind and emotion. Only me and myself. Alone...

[vincentfranklin]

While I have friends and family, and enjoy seeing them, I also love being alone, and going places by myself. My family thinks I'm a bit odd, but I enjoy it.

[mosiah.torres]

Thank you The School of Life! Just spent a long weekend with my girlfriend's family and am now on the train home, doing precisely what you said: analyzing every single moment, and feeling somewhat anxious and upset with my myself for over analyzing everything, and thinking I am a strange person for doing so. To have you guys tell me it's okay, and not only that but it's necessary.. feels incredibly reassuring. Thank you so much. Also, loved the artwork!

[emblackbird]

This video said it SO well. I've been trying to help my boyfriend understand why I want alone time so badly. People who don't share this trait take the need for alone time very personally and it really sucks because all we're trying to do is be ok, just like everyone else. It sucks when someone you love misinterprets it as a statement about them, thinking that you don't like spending time with them or something, when that couldn't be further from the truth. But we should never compromise our deepest needs. I hope this video can help him understand, I just shared it. Thank you for making this!

[alexazul]

I've spent the most amount of time alone these past few months than I ever have during my time in college and I feel like I've grown as a person. I've always been the person to be around for every event and to generally always be out and about. I pushed this limit towards the end of 2017 and lost myself if I'm being honest. Going out everyday, partying too much, being with people almost every waking hour, took a huge toll on me.

There is a peace in being alone that I can't quite explain. It brings me back to my reality, it helps me analyze myself and how I treat others, and it generally helps me grow as a person. I recently started reading this book called Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and in it he exclaims that many people want to "escape" from the world by going to foreign places or doing foreign things when all it takes to escape from what burdens you is to be with your own self.

Society likes to push this idea that it's not okay to be alone and that's just not true. Thank you for this video. Excellent as always.

[JunkerJames]

I cannot get over the production on this video. Hats off to the puppet makers/scene designers etc. You absolutely killed it. Great message, as always, @theschooloflife, and well done for giving talented people an outlet.

[ray_on_paws-wk]

this video is so comforting. i enjoy my solitude and being able to explore in depth my passions, but others make me look like a bad person because of it, but this video doesn't villainize spending time alone

[StratosFear]

It's not just being alone that is important for us to flesh out our complete emotional selves. It's being able to introspect. Spending days alone but on our phone/tablet/computer, glued to social media is hardly different from being at a party, engaged in a multitude of superficial interactions.
We shouldn’t forget to disconnect -physically AND mentally. This can be through mindful meditation, journaling or just spending time at a park by our selves. This will absolutely bring out the best in you.

[davidbecquer]

Watching this as I sit in my room, alone, taking my day away from my friends and university colleagues. Thank you school of life, for understanding.

[kawaiisakura]

Yessss this is everything! I’ve hurt myself unnecessarily because I forced myself to be social and to be a “certain” way when I really didn’t want to, in order to avoid being seen as rude or disrespectful. Now I no longer care and will put my needs and sanity before everything else. I love my solitude 💕

[JohnVance]

"Unless we've had time to be alone, we can't be who we'd like to be around our fellow humans." Wow, that hits the nail on the head.